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Dan Quinn is a Free Man, At Least Physically

(Video courtesy YouTube and stevia)

There’s something reassuring about watching a Dan Quinn video. I don’t know if it’s knowing that no matter how crazy I may get as I get older, there’s no way I’ll ever claim that I’m a self-trained scientist who has discovered that the cure for every disease known to mankind is drinking a mixture of a sugar substitute and water. Or maybe it’s the fact that every time he posts another one of his more increasingly psychotic rants, my original inclination that he was a character attempting to pull off the ultimate troll-job evaporates more and more, like the soap floating on top of pure H2O and I realize that he is a legit whack job, which gives me faith that not everyone on the Internet is lying about who they are.

Well, Dan is out of jail and apparently he’s been banking up topics in his head while he wallowed in the clink.

As far as I can surmise without an interpreter, in this edition Dan discusses everything from Tito Ortiz being pissed off at him because of his imaginary relationship with Jenna, Dana White cock blocking him by not giving him a fight and for allegedly telling Diego not to associate with the Doctor of cold fission and the cold hard truth that he would beat James Toney in a bar fight.

My question is, how did he not die from stevia withdrawal in jail?

Maybe he smuggled in a month’s supply with him, but what would he do about a blender?

Cagepotato Comments

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LurkingNShadows- May 29, 2010 at 8:59 am
I KNOW that helmethead,and what you see is a 24/7 audition for a padded cell.
He is every nutjob,sociopath,and potential serial killer you've ever heard or
read about! He is so far off the hook,that you're momentarily hynotized by the
insanity that pours out of him! I was positive he'd be gang raped and murdered
while in jail,just to SHUT HIM UP! But,alas,he lives.OH...I almost forgot to
mention...when he was arrested this last time,he was getting a BLOW JOB
from a STUD you!!! LMFAO!!!!
LurkingNShadows- May 29, 2010 at 8:36 am

LMFAO!!! Is it possible to un-evolve?
CrackMasterVanSnap- May 14, 2010 at 2:37 pm
I'm a smart motherfucker. I coulda gone to fucking Harvard.

Best line ever.
M3g4d37h- May 6, 2010 at 3:24 pm
his ears look like saucers.
Shibumi- May 5, 2010 at 11:18 pm
He's Marv's retarded step brother. That's a nice coat fission mister.
Dr Garbo- May 5, 2010 at 9:08 pm
"Goin legendary status...noshit dude"...

The best is when Quinn argues with his MOM...

Somebody posted his cell number on here before
gunjitsu- May 5, 2010 at 7:50 pm
I love this site, the humor, the comments, etc...

But being made aware of Dan Quinn and his video blogs is PRICELESS!

I know what I'm doin' tomorrow at work...

DAN THE VIKING- May 5, 2010 at 6:57 pm
Oh Shit. He just called James Toney a slave.
David_Banner- May 5, 2010 at 6:36 pm
I don't know whats worse, his gator jaw or his hair piece that appears ready to fly off his head everytime he talks. I've never seen a persons whole hairline move when he speaks..
Komodo- May 5, 2010 at 6:33 pm
ReX13 Says:

i got nothin'.

Seriously, this guy gives me dinosaur brains. I don't even now how you managed to write a summary.

Damn this made me laugh.

fatbellyfrank- May 5, 2010 at 4:48 pm
Oh.My.God, I didn't think I would ever type these words, but this guy makes Tito and Mumbles look semi-intelligent
AndyInflammatory- May 5, 2010 at 4:25 pm
slightly off-topic, but if anybody needed a textbook example of growth hormone use, look at the fucking jawbone on that dude

Japanadian- May 5, 2010 at 3:03 pm
LMFAO just read that advancedphysics post.
next thing you know he'll say that aspertame+water = fission, oh wait that's called diet pop
lol stevia..... omg the water gets foamy it must be cold fission.
i really hope it was a joke post from a CP user.
RPS13- May 5, 2010 at 2:44 pm
damn stoner
Shibumi- May 5, 2010 at 2:27 pm
That nutbag kinda looks like Marv from sin city's little brother
Walrus- May 5, 2010 at 1:38 pm
Layin' it down Dan Quinn style

danomite- May 5, 2010 at 1:20 pm
man, it feels like it's been ages since our last DQ update. am I the only one who was crazy enough to go out and plant some stevia plants in his yard this year? They're still to young to pick but once they are I'll be melting tumors left and right and powering my house with cold fission playas!

oh, and i googled "stevia cold fission" last week and saw that advanced physics forum and laughed my ass off. I think that must have been someone from CagePotato who put that up there.
Mr_Misanthropy- May 5, 2010 at 1:02 pm
**the remix**

"James Toney... yer a slave. No disrespect. Yer kinda fat too, you smoke weed? You know, that shit makes you fuckin wanna eat man, all blow up end up lookin like you. I'd woop yer ass...yadayadayada way it goes...fuckin base rocks.. Fuckin Jenna loves da violin all lock up da pelvis, responsible for bruised pussies all around the world. Fuckin Dana cockblocker gimme Kimbo or some shit quit hiding yer gonna regret when my pure energy outta water gets everybody paid. Just scared cause I would go straight up and just attack him, attack him with my hands. I'm the white Houston Alexander."

It is definitely a little scary that this dude is "out-there" and not chemically sedated in a nice room somewhere...
David_Banner- May 5, 2010 at 12:59 pm
My god....Dan Quinn is crazier then a freshly sprayed cockroach.
halfbreed23- May 5, 2010 at 12:50 pm
Yes, but how would he fare against Harry Gopaul?
Stinkfurt- May 5, 2010 at 12:42 pm
@ steampunk22

Thank you, that's an awesome thread. I just wish I was as smart as Quinn:

Stevia= Cold Fission= Stevia + Water + Energy= Water Exploding into Fuel/Soup

It's so simple.
Ratel- May 5, 2010 at 12:26 pm
I gotta say, James Toney would be the survivor of that. Dan Quinn would be killed in the first eleven minutes, and War Machine would be drowned in the bathtub like an unwanted crack baby.

Tito will end up getting dropped when he starts posturing at Toney - you know, sticking his chest out, pointing his chin all over, talking about how he was such a great champion... and just as he gets into the third verse of his own little I Love Me poem Toney will hit him so hard that his previously-cracked skull will crack apart like a melon dropped from the Empire State Building.
MediumRare- May 5, 2010 at 12:16 pm
I have an idea for a reality show: Lock James Toney, Dan Quinn, Tito Ortiz and War Machine in a house for a week.

Don't give them any liquor. Maybe just some peyote.

Tell me that wouldn't be some entertaining viewing.
Ratel- May 5, 2010 at 12:12 pm
Also, I feel as if I've been mentally raped by Keiser Soze.
Ratel- May 5, 2010 at 12:11 pm
"...I was recruited by Harvard. For real, akay? I just decided I don't want to be a fucking prisoner there for four years, y'know?"

The only thing that could redeem this video is for Terry Tate, office linebacker, to come screaming out from behind the red blanket covering the doorway and liquefy every bone in Quinn's body. That would be justice on so many levels.