Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

Dan Quinn Got Evicted From His Mom’s House and Crashed His Car, You Guys

(Props: DanQuinnSteviaFan)

Yes, I know it seems like Dan Quinn is off his lithium. Real talk: He’s simply expressing deep rage in a civilized manner. In this recent rant, Quinn curses out his mom for evicting him because she can’t accept the fact that he was tied to a tree by Fred Reeva for four and a half hours when he was eight years old and abused pretty much his whole childhood, and also because she didn’t have his back when he was accused of attempted rape at Notre Dame, ruining one of his several shots at becoming a millionaire, considering he was a white outside linebacker that could cover black running backs downfield, and she even went to town on his body with Hot Wheels tracks when he was a kid (by the way, check out his wrist-vein at the 6:58 mark — what’s up with that?), but it’s understandable because she was hit in the head with a baseball bat when she was a child and still has a dent in her forehead and is hypoglycemic on top of that, but nevertheless, there’s a lot of people who would let him stay in his car in front of their house and take showers. And then, with the timing of a veteran comedian, he rear-ends a parked car. File the papers, bitch.


  1. Sheps Says:

    Wed, 09/23/09 - 04:15

    This is by far the best title to any post ever posted here at CP.
  2. eelcozy Says:

    Wed, 09/23/09 - 04:28

    Normally Dan Quinn doesn't really amuse me, but holy shit. What the hell is wrong with this guy? I called him a while ago since he constantly puts his phone number in his videos. I couldn't even say anything. He's just like "Hello? Oh you pussy motherfucker rantrantrant..." Scary dude.
  3. Chri534. Says:

    Wed, 09/23/09 - 04:47

    Haha, I wasn't even going to watch any of the video until I read, "And then, with the timing of a veteran comedian, he rear-ends a parked car. File the papers, bitch." He actually reminds me of a much more realistic version of Kenny Powers (
  4. PurplePickle Says:

    Wed, 09/23/09 - 04:52

    I think CP is counting on Quinn to do something hella fucked that makes national news. That's why his videos make this site so much. Expect the Bens to be interviewed as experts on the 'man behind the madness' pieces on the cable networks after Stevia poisoning wipes out half of the attendees at a pharmaceutical rep convention. Greta, Geraldo, and Larry will admonish the nation for ignoring the Potato.
  5. ScarTissue Says:

    Wed, 09/23/09 - 05:01

    Between stories about the 0-12 child molester guy and Dan Quinn claiming he has taken showers with his skull dented mother do you think you could cover something MMA related? I hear Tim Sylvia is out of Dream in a CAGE (appease teh GOD!) because of his hand...
  6. GEE-yuh-TEEN Says:

    Wed, 09/23/09 - 05:07

    Attempted rape guys, he didn't even do anything, and he didn't even do that. I think he's had too much Rampage Punch.
  7. Harry Russo Says:

    Wed, 09/23/09 - 05:11

    Yeah, he is a schizophrenic, meth head who may or may not have not been hand cuffed to a tree then ass raped by his uncle, but to say that he crashed his car is bullshit. He just hopped the curb.
  8. Angelton Says:

    Wed, 09/23/09 - 05:26

    Can someone explain to the newfag, who this guy is?
  9. Maitreyan disciple Says:

    Wed, 09/23/09 - 05:40

    Maitreya will be fighting on Oct 10th at Red Hawk casino against Bond "The Psychotic Samoan" Lapua. Tigger will be in his corner (No word on Dannifer), with superglue, and DQ is currently a 20-1 favorite with my local Bookmaker. Hate if you will but stevia+water+energy= cold fusion and the cure for the human body. Thank you Calvin Joeseph Worsham for having the stones to set this up, it is a wonka golden ticket for those who choose to pay stevia foward. And yes im on the cure. PS Maitreya is doing 500 sumo squats a day, in addition to a rigourous shadow boxing routine. Dude is a stud just ask Matt Binghimon, Jimmer Kranz, or Pete Carrol. PEACE!
  10. JiMMA Says:

    Wed, 09/23/09 - 05:47

    In between many appointments with countless probation officers Dan Quinn will single handedly save the earth with PURE H2O, resulting in him grossing over a million dollars in PURE Benjamen's. The only obstacle in his way is finding out a scheme grand enough to get his 45 year old self out of his FUCKING MOTHERS BASEMENT. God Speed Dan Quinn, WE ARE COUNTING ON YOU!
  11. JiMMA Says:

    Wed, 09/23/09 - 06:51

    Maitreyan disciple, is that you Dan Quinn?
  12. Smitty Says:

    Wed, 09/23/09 - 08:34

    Dan kind of scared me on that one.......
  13. Dante Says:

    Wed, 09/23/09 - 08:38

    I just pranked this dude. He's a dick. 916-475-7856
  14. Dr Garbo Says:

    Wed, 09/23/09 - 09:33

    Fuck you where in my car...AND Ive been taking your shit for 42 years
  15. Dr Garbo Says:

    Wed, 09/23/09 - 09:44

  16. J-Dog Says:

    Thu, 09/24/09 - 07:12

    Mom needs to break out the Hot Wheels track on him for talking to her that way. You never disrespect yo momma like dat, son!
  17. just some dong Says:

    Thu, 09/24/09 - 08:44

    This guy has kids?? Fuuuuuuck....
  18. BallPtPenTheif Says:

    Thu, 09/24/09 - 09:17

    What a fucking douche. If my mom argues with me or gets pissed I just laugh. Because I'm not financially dependent on her and she can't do anything to my life. It's called independence, grow up and fucking earn it you stevia drinking twat.
  19. reddog Says:

    Thu, 09/24/09 - 09:39

    Dan quinn is a whiny bitch. got hazed 35 years ago, big deal. See what stevia gets you? A meth habit, a bum lifestyle and pipedreams of what could have been. Cal Worsham eats bags of dicks too.
  20. peanutbuttter Says:

    Fri, 09/25/09 - 12:34

    I want to know about that vein...
  21. G Funk Says:

    Fri, 09/25/09 - 07:35

    who cares bout this guy??? he is a LOSER!!!
  22. LurkingNShadows Says:

    Sat, 05/29/10 - 10:42

    Hi again Dan...I know for a fact you check for new comments/posts on CP, and sites like you're gonna be seeing me EVERYWHERE!! The fact that you BELIEVE the incoherent crap that comes outta that butt ugly face of yours, is scarier than the words themselves! But bottom line is still same..youre a LOSER!! Always was a LOSER,and will die a LOSER!
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