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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

Dan Quinn Got Evicted From His Mom’s House and Crashed His Car, You Guys


(Props: DanQuinnSteviaFan)

Yes, I know it seems like Dan Quinn is off his lithium. Real talk: He’s simply expressing deep rage in a civilized manner. In this recent rant, Quinn curses out his mom for evicting him because she can’t accept the fact that he was tied to a tree by Fred Reeva for four and a half hours when he was eight years old and abused pretty much his whole childhood, and also because she didn’t have his back when he was accused of attempted rape at Notre Dame, ruining one of his several shots at becoming a millionaire, considering he was a white outside linebacker that could cover black running backs downfield, and she even went to town on his body with Hot Wheels tracks when he was a kid (by the way, check out his wrist-vein at the 6:58 mark — what’s up with that?), but it’s understandable because she was hit in the head with a baseball bat when she was a child and still has a dent in her forehead and is hypoglycemic on top of that, but nevertheless, there’s a lot of people who would let him stay in his car in front of their house and take showers. And then, with the timing of a veteran comedian, he rear-ends a parked car. File the papers, bitch.

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LurkingNShadows- May 29, 2010 at 10:42 am

Hi again Dan...I know for a fact you check for new comments/posts on CP,
and sites like it....so you're gonna be seeing me EVERYWHERE!! The fact that
you BELIEVE the incoherent crap that comes outta that butt ugly face of yours,
is scarier than the words themselves! But bottom line is still same..youre a
LOSER!! Always was a LOSER,and will die a LOSER!
G Funk- September 25, 2009 at 7:35 am
who cares bout this guy??? he is a LOSER!!!
peanutbuttter- September 25, 2009 at 12:34 am
I want to know about that vein...
reddog- September 24, 2009 at 9:39 pm
Dan quinn is a whiny bitch. Awwww...you got hazed 35 years ago, big deal. See what stevia gets you? A meth habit, a bum lifestyle and pipedreams of what could have been.

Cal Worsham eats bags of dicks too.
BallPtPenTheif- September 24, 2009 at 9:17 am
What a fucking douche.

If my mom argues with me or gets pissed I just laugh. Because I'm not financially dependent on her and she can't do anything to my life. It's called independence, grow up and fucking earn it you stevia drinking twat.
just some dong- September 24, 2009 at 8:44 am
This guy has kids??

Fuuuuuuck....

J-Dog- September 24, 2009 at 7:12 am
Mom needs to break out the Hot Wheels track on him for talking to her that way. You never disrespect yo momma like dat, son!
Dr Garbo- September 23, 2009 at 9:44 pm
CAN YOU ARREST SOMEONPOSTHUMOUSLY.....FUCKINMG BRILLIANT
Dr Garbo- September 23, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Fuck you where in my car...AND Ive been taking your shit for 42 years
Dante- September 23, 2009 at 8:38 pm
I just pranked this dude. He's a dick. 916-475-7856
Smitty- September 23, 2009 at 8:34 pm
Dan kind of scared me on that one.......
JiMMA- September 23, 2009 at 6:51 pm
Maitreyan disciple, is that you Dan Quinn?
JiMMA- September 23, 2009 at 5:47 pm
In between many appointments with countless probation officers Dan Quinn will single handedly save the earth with PURE H2O, resulting in him grossing over a million dollars in PURE Benjamen's.

The only obstacle in his way is finding out a scheme grand enough to get his 45 year old self out of his FUCKING MOTHERS BASEMENT.

God Speed Dan Quinn, WE ARE COUNTING ON YOU!

Maitreyan disciple- September 23, 2009 at 5:40 pm
Maitreya will be fighting on Oct 10th at Red Hawk casino against Bond "The Psychotic Samoan" Lapua. Tigger will be in his corner (No word on Dannifer), with superglue, and DQ is currently a 20-1 favorite with my local Bookmaker. Hate if you will but stevia+water+energy= cold fusion and the cure for the human body. Thank you Calvin Joeseph Worsham for having the stones to set this up, it is a wonka golden ticket for those who choose to pay stevia foward. And yes im on the cure.

PS Maitreya is doing 500 sumo squats a day, in addition to a rigourous shadow boxing routine. Dude is a stud just ask Matt Binghimon, Jimmer Kranz, or Pete Carrol. PEACE!
Angelton- September 23, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Can someone explain to the newfag, who this guy is?
Harry Russo- September 23, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Yeah, he is a schizophrenic, meth head who may or may not have not been hand cuffed to a tree then ass raped by his uncle, but to say that he crashed his car is bullshit. He just hopped the curb.
GEE-yuh-TEEN- September 23, 2009 at 5:07 pm
Attempted rape guys, he didn't even do anything, and he didn't even do that. I think he's had too much Rampage Punch.
ScarTissue- September 23, 2009 at 5:01 pm
Between stories about the 0-12 child molester guy and Dan Quinn claiming he has taken showers with his skull dented mother do you think you could cover something MMA related?

I hear Tim Sylvia is out of Dream in a CAGE (appease teh GOD!) because of his hand...
PurplePickle- September 23, 2009 at 4:52 pm
I think CP is counting on Quinn to do something hella fucked that makes national news. That's why his videos make this site so much.

Expect the Bens to be interviewed as experts on the 'man behind the madness' pieces on the cable networks after Stevia poisoning wipes out half of the attendees at a pharmaceutical rep convention. Greta, Geraldo, and Larry will admonish the nation for ignoring the Potato.
Chri534.- September 23, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Haha, I wasn't even going to watch any of the video until I read, "And then, with the timing of a veteran comedian, he rear-ends a parked car. File the papers, bitch."

He actually reminds me of a much more realistic version of Kenny Powers (www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgDaVLCaBzQ).
eelcozy- September 23, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Normally Dan Quinn doesn't really amuse me, but holy shit. What the hell is wrong with this guy?

I called him a while ago since he constantly puts his phone number in his videos. I couldn't even say anything. He's just like "Hello? Oh you pussy motherfucker rantrantrant..."

Scary dude.
Sheps- September 23, 2009 at 4:15 pm
This is by far the best title to any post ever posted here at CP.
CagePotatoMMA