We have to drink till Jake Shieldzz in entertaining bro…

@ Rsparrow, so when are we supposed to sober up? man thats a recipe for being drunk for life!

UFC will be adopting Pride Rules and scoring. GSP loses his title when Thiago Alves knees his head into lumpy oatmeal.

Dana’s announcement….

The Official UFC drinking game will be available in stores nationwide!! Participants are forced to take a drink everytime the following occur:

1. Dana White drops the F bomb
2. Tito Ortiz makes an excuse
3. Chael Sonnen tells a lie
4. Sokodju runs out of gas
5. Rogan brags about Koscheck being an “athlete”
6. BJ penn doesnt train properly
7. Kongo does something dirty….

Dana White is announcing that he is setting up the grudge match of the century. Thiago “Pitbull” Alves will be fighting Michael Vick.

I think he’s announcing that he just saved 15% on his car insurance!

Also, chocolate milk is tasty, but Dana has been in the mood for strawberry lately. Weird, huh?

Jesus, I feel like I could do this all day, and I wouldn’t be that far off from the truth.

Real talk though, I really hope WEC gets absorbed into the UFC. Aldo, Faber, Torres, oh my!

So You Think You’re a Fuckin’ Fighter? reality show spinoff produced and funded by Zuffa.

It’s either one of two things:

a) The next season of TUF won’t be TUF at all, but rather a Real World/Road Rules Challenge type of show where the respective captains are Lesnar and ‘Taker, and it will be WWE vs. UFC with the weekly Monday night time slot on USA Network on the line.

b) Zuffa bought DREAM.

Its gonna be Anderson vs GSP and if it is I want a cage potato mouse pad!

He’s finally going to pay guys on the undercard more than 5k to get the shit beaten out of them by big name fighters that have just lost two in a row.

One lucky ppv buyer will win a free bj from your choice of ring girl..

Actually.. Maybe it just a TUF show in China

or …

They cloned Bruce Lee and he will fight Aldo!

Or

The UFC just bought Strikeforce!

He’s got worms.

stupid double post.

Our guess is as good as yours, so if you think you have it figured out, let us know if the comments section…
———————————————————————————
damnit to hell !
let us know IF the the comment section….what? what? stop jacking with me, and tell me WHAT!!!
what is this?
How do you keep an asshole in suspense?
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I’ll tell you tomorrow!

women’s mud wrestling division added to UFC line up because that is Ultimate.

Well MMA is both legal and unsanctioned in Alaska because there is no commission. but thanks Charlie.

Finally sanctioned in: Alaska

@ Cage Porktato

Awesome fucking caption. I think some fucking congratulations are in order… Send that fucker a box of cigar flavored donuts or some shit. Send him a vat of sunblock for that giant white head.

@ The Wild Speculations

Dana is going to announce that the UFC and their intergalactic overlords the Annunaki from the planet Nebiru have reached a deal to begin harvesting human souls from this solar system sometime late in the fiscal year of 2012. The Annunaki have agreed to purchase a 10% stake in Zuffa and will be building a special arena on their intergalactic (c’mon, say it with me- in ter gallllac tic) planet-ship to host a special event on Christmas day, 2012. They have just hired the dark lord Kramdar as marketing director to the ever-burning underworld and should be holding their first fully broadcast events in Hell sometime by mid-2013, just as soon as dimension-wide broadcast affiliates are hammered out and they can scrape together some form of athletic commission. They expect things to move forward rapidly because if there is one thing that both demons and the UFC excel at it is bureaucracy. Sometime by the beginning of 2014 Zuffa is going to build an enormous stone coliseum right in the middle of Las Vegas where fights will begin being held to the death (at the discretion of the Benevolent Emperor Lorenzo the First and the fickle fancies of the crowd) with soul energies of deceased fighters being distributed amongst Zuffa, the Annunaki, and Lucifuge the Dark Prince and CFO of Hell, INC. Dana White will be announced as the next pope, the papacy will be moving to Nevada, and one lucky follower of Dana’s Twitter will be ascended to a glorious afterlife in a fucking pimp ass mansion on the suburbs of Heaven.

Still waiting for the promised Anderson Silva mulligan to make it up to all of us for buying the lame 112 ppv.

I vote for bringing Batista and Lashly in for a tag match in the Octagon vs. Lesnar and Taker….

How about a network deal with regular good matches and ppv events with great matches on the main card for 29.99.

Bundy

The Chandella doll doesn’t have a face. Dana claims manufacturing mix up, but I think its a shrewd business move to sell more than 5 of them.

@Treebs

that would point to a James Toney announcement

Arianny blow up dolls to be given away with each PPV purchase.

He’s announcing his grandma Betty is going to be the new Octagon Girl.

G string theory what?

I’m not sure how soccer kicks would stop the boring 3 rounders, since they generally involve wrestlers who would stay on top doing the same thing.

Great picture, Paris needs to douche and Dana is a douche

A revolutionary new take on string theory?

The announcement is that he has found a person wearing more makeup than Gus Johnson.

Paris is a 4’5″ 300lb black man under all that paint.

@kimbos bread

I heard Shaq Fu was so deadly that its illegal. My cousin totally saw a guy get his throat ripped out this one time.

@fbf

LOL

He’s annoumcing Paris Hilton as Chandella’s replacement, then he’s announcing he’s opening an office in China, then he’s announcing Brock v’s Undertaker, match up to be held over two venue’s, Jenna’s vag and Paris’s vag, first one to reverse the peterbilt Double trailer rig out of both vag’s wins the straps, then he’s announcing me, fatbelly frank as president of australian operations, and finally he’s gonna to reassure fans that while he’s in charge there will never, ever be WWE style gimmicks in UFC.

My guesses:

UFC/ WEC lightweight superfights
UFC/WEC hold joint PPVs (I know I wouldn’t mind seeing Aldo and St Pierre at the same event)
UFC’s first show in Mexico.

Most awesome possibility:

UFC/WEC hold joint PPV in Meico City, putting Torres and Cain on the card, as well as the rumored Aldo vs. Edgar superfight.

Please make that happen.

Hopefully the announcement is that we’ll be able to see chandellas roast beef curtains in the next issue of playboy

Word has it the announcement is going to be:

drum roll….

Shaq has been signed.

Zuffa is buying the internet so no more streaming and the cost of PPV’s is going up to 149.95!

It could be the UFC going to China or maybe Cerrone will fight Florian, perhaps its a new line UFC toys.. fuck.. yeah… who knows, it’ll probably be a let down anyway.

Dana never gets tired of the word expletive, does he? Personally, I hope Dana’s major announcement goes something like this:

Listen. I’m a huge (expletive) fan of MMA and I know what the fans want. They (expletive) TweeT me and tell me what’s up, and I (expletive) listen. So I am making a major announcement: Chandalla Powell will be immediately replaced with Brittny Ward. That is all fuckers.