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Dana White’s Brock Lesnar Update: “No Comment”


(Something that could make both these men smile? It could only be one thing: Arby’s roast beef sandwich!)

In all fairness, Dana White said that this would be the week he’d find out how serious Brock Lesnar‘s medical condition really is.  He didn’t necessarily say it would be the week he told the rest of us what he learned.  MMAFighting.com had a little text message convo with DW today, and when asked what Lesnar’s status was the UFC prez replied: "Brock asked me not to talk about it.  I have to respect that."

And so the mystery lives on.  How long will Lesnar be out?  Will he ever fight again?  Why is it so important to him that no one know anything at all about his illness?  Is Lesnar actually a malfunctioning cyborg super soldier, making this a matter of national security requiring the utmost secrecy?  These questions must remain, for the time being, unanswered.  All we know is, if the diagnosis was that he’d be up and cracking skulls within a few months, like his jiu-jitsu coach previously claimed, there probably wouldn’t be a need for all this shucking and jiving. 

You couple White’s reticence with the cryptic missive on Lesnar’s Facebook page, and there’s not much reason for optimism.  We might as well get used to life without Lesnar, at least for the foreseeable future.

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jonn2- February 17, 2011 at 9:56 am
comment5,
mt59801- January 10, 2010 at 3:43 pm
agentsmith WTF does a douchelord like you know about outcome based procedure approval in the USA vs UK or Canada? I'd love to hear your opinion.
Texas84- January 8, 2010 at 1:19 pm
I can tell you from personal experience that divertitulitus is absolutely NO fun.. I had it 2 years ago and it took me months to feel better. And a good year to feel 100%.

He'll be back but it won't be untill late this year. Coming back too soon could end his career.

And to everyone making fun of him having a colonoscopy? Guess what? You're gonna have to have one too!

Party on...
Lonny- January 8, 2010 at 10:12 am

Isn't it ironic that the big homophobe, Brock, has now had his colon probed more times than Liberace?!
Big Jumpin Dad- January 8, 2010 at 9:14 am
ohhhhh boy you are soo WRONG 831 SON!!! Im big jumpin dad and big jumpin dad only, I dont need all those fake persona's to call you out! Im doing some straight up dad jumpin and you cant do a thing about it sucka! Just because you have spinabifida and kleinfelters syndrome doesnt mean you can go around accusing people and slandering people's names 831 PUN!
831 Son- January 8, 2010 at 8:48 am
Big Jumpin Dad is probably UFC fan, 831 Father, HAL and other retarded trolls on here. What a fucking worthless loser this dude is. You'd get smashed by the way you old fucking queer. Id kick you straight in your head and you couldnt do shit about it. Inferior douche.
agentsmith- January 8, 2010 at 6:24 am
I don't know what's dumber, the steroid comments, or the "it's socialized medicine's fault" comments.
Big Jumpin Dad- January 8, 2010 at 5:45 am
831 son is a fucking fag anyways, so what do I care if you guys shoot me down? Ill always know his life is worse than mine cuz hes a total worthless, garbage pickin, good for nothin, flatulent, armagadden lookin, basketball wishin, spaghetti lips lookin, Post new comment, youre name:, Big Jumpin Dad, Comment:* , IDIOT!!
Big Jumpin Dad- January 8, 2010 at 5:39 am
FIRST of all, its big "JUMPIN" dad, JUMPIN, JUMP-IN... not fucking big jumpin"G" dad. How rediculous does Big JUMPING dad sound????!!, i can even say it without laughing so please FUCK OFF!
Stevenamck65- January 8, 2010 at 3:46 am
A few things, not every who likes Brock is a fan boy from the WWF.

Secondly you think Fedor really is going to compete in the UFC? even if he did and got beat all we would hear is "Fedor in his Prime would have beat him".

Fedor can keep to fighting washed up over the hill fighters in which ever organization he can screw over next for an easy pay day.

In all honesty I personaly think Mir would beat Fedor all day any day and im not really Mir`s biggest fan.
Stevenamck65- January 8, 2010 at 3:40 am
LOL you guys are fucking idiots.... Big Jumping dad your winning todays race for utter stupidity tho!

Get well soon Brock and fuck all these haters!

Ascerendant- January 8, 2010 at 3:39 am
This fanboy-opera can only be completed by Fedor coming to the UFC and completely pummeling everyone around. The forums will be ablaze for years with "Brock would have pwned Fedor if only he had stayed healthy", "No he wouldn't", "Yes he would've!", "Well, the steroids killed him!!"...
JiMMA- January 8, 2010 at 3:22 am
I for one want my HW belt holder back in there. Get well soon Brock.
JiMMA- January 8, 2010 at 3:19 am
@ BIG JUMPING DAD

Okay I hope that comment was sarcastic because if not that is Absolutely the most ignorant, no, the most flat out moronic comment I have read thus far in all of the internets.

You Sir, are a douche bag
AussieJosh- January 8, 2010 at 12:22 am
@ BIG JUMPING DAD

I agree with you! or its what....,

mt59801

Said.
mt59801- January 8, 2010 at 12:03 am
@BIG JUMPIN DAD

I thought about the steroid thing too, but I think it's too much time. Barnet, Franca, Sherk and others have had less time off between fights. I work in healthcare and let me tell you diverticulitis is a bitch, especially if treatment is delayed or the diagnosis is wrong. Based on what he's said about his shitty medical care in Canada and then flying back to the states I'm thinking the Canadians probably diagnosed him with gastroenteritis or some other intestinal infection instead of just shoving a scope up his ass and figuring out what was really going on. It's very possible that socialized medicine just kicked his ass, which is too bad because I wanted to watch Carwin toss him around and knock him out. If I'm right the guys not gonna be drinking his precious coors light for long time
mybongsnameisgreenmeenie- January 7, 2010 at 10:28 pm
@ agent smith and skeletor

my abs hurt because i was high when i read those comments. thanks for 20 minutes of laughter.

@ big jumping dad

that wouldnt surprise me. but just maybe brock is a hybrid "new human" that poops and reproduces with the same orifice, and dana white impregnated him in the rectal circuit. they dont want their dirty little secret out. the tattoo on his chest is actually a grayscale portrait of dana "sword-dong" white's penis.

who knows, maybe its just hiv.
Big Jumpin Dad- January 7, 2010 at 7:16 pm
Did anybody ever think that this "mystery medical condition" that him and the UFC want to keep everybody in the dark about is just time off for a much needed steroid cycle?? Like I mean yes, he couldve actually had something minorly wrong with him but think about it. He has all the time off in the world, Hes already finished his cycle and now hes just waiting to piss clean in multiple steroid tests in a row which he has his closest training personal helping him with before he gets back in there and starts destroying again. DW's in on it too i guarantee it
intercept440- January 7, 2010 at 6:14 pm
@ Skeletor

i think it was Tito Who backed out of that boxing thing, not 100 percent sure, but i think so..

brock probably does need some reconstruction around the back and if it is that bad, well i dont wish any professional athelete to have to shit in a bag..

Sucks to be him.. and if he has to wear a colostomy bag all the time, then i think sable will be back on the market and will be fucking the next HW Champ within mere minutes while drinking a Bud light from her vagina

although it is ironic about his last fight and the words he used.. Mir can always have a snappy remark on tap about horseshoes and yanking them out now..

hope you get well cock chest...

shamownage- January 7, 2010 at 6:05 pm
I feel like maybe he's got a horseshoe stuck in his ass (fuckin up his intestines), and someone just needs to pull it out....
you just got pieced up homey- January 7, 2010 at 4:43 pm
Oh no however will we live without Brock Lesnar!!!!! *scratches ass* Ok I'm over it....
biohazardone- January 7, 2010 at 4:05 pm
what a fucking asshole....what the fuck is that "no comment" Dana is such a prick...he owes it to the fans to let us know what the fuck is going on with that oger.
The_Dead_Cow- January 7, 2010 at 3:37 pm
Look on the bright side, this opens the door for guys that may have a long future in mma like: Walker, Lashley, and Tony...dog.
iDestroy- January 7, 2010 at 3:29 pm
@agentsmith and skeletor


Ha! You guys!
Kimbos Bread- January 7, 2010 at 3:19 pm
Bud Light, the beer that knows how to get even.
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