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Dean Lister Apologizes/Points Out He’s Still Better Than You

(‘I’m so mad I could pull guard right now.’)

There’s no getting around it, Dean Lister had a bad, bad night against Yushin Okami at UFC 92.  His offense consisted of pulling guard, a few token efforts at striking, and takedown attempts that only became more half-hearted as the fight wore on.  Not surprisingly, he lost the decision, was showered with boos from the fans, and got his release from the UFC afterwards.  

Now Lister has posted a message to the UG apologizing to his fans and teammates:

Listen I had a very poor performance my last fight. Truth is that I let my team and my gym, my friends and definitely myself down for this fight. Its not only that I lost but I really showed a poor performance. I had a much better showing against Arona (even though that was only primarily a grappling fight that I lost) even in Pride who is a better fighter than Okami for sure. Things just didnt come together for me this fight. I trained so, so hard, I really trained hard but it didnt work out.

Nice, right?  He owns up to his poor performance, apologizes to the people he let down, but it doesn’t stop there:

I expect a few weak and mean tempered responses to my thread here, that is OK, I expect this thing from young whack offs who have no (zero) life experience. …Things in life are strange. All I can say is in late 90s I was mediocre at best in BJJ, but with some patience, I became world champion in ADCC Absolute WORLD CHAMP IN MOTHA FUCKIN BRAZIL!!!!!!!!! If you say that MMA is different than ADCC, that’s fine, I heard the same thing changing from Gi to No-Gi (that’s how long i’ve been around the damm game). …For those who really, really, really hate me and have the balls to come tell me to my face, I am very curious to meet you and to compare your superior style, technique and work ethic, even though I had a piss poor performance in UFC, i’m still in good shape. let me know if you want to "teach me a few MMA moves" cause I can really need the help and i’m an eager student. Only problems is you would have to come and see me in person….

Ah, the apology-turned-indignant challenge.  Thank you, internet.  This is why Al Gore created you.

Look, it’s easy to sympathize with Lister here.  Everyone can have a bad night, and he is a world-class grappler who could choke all of us out.  But as great a submissions fighter as he is, hasn’t he had enough time to develop some other aspect of his game by now?

Take Rashad Evans, for example, who broke into the UFC at around the same time Lister broke into Pride.  Evans was also extremely one-dimensional, but look at him now.  He’s grabbing his balls and knocking people out, not touting his old wrestling accomplishments and inviting internet punks down to his gym the way Dean Lister invites opponents into his guard.  

There’s a lesson to be learned there.  Let’s hope Lister figures out what it is and comes back stronger for it.


  1. Wildcard Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 08:54

    Cmon Boogeyman stop the bullshit and give us the Lister of old
  2. Dana White is a HOMO Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 09:02

    I need to change my screen name to Dean Lister is a HOMO!
  3. Geriatric Peon Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 09:02

    When did it become necessary to be a better fighter than a Pro in order to critique there fights? Does that mean every guy at ESPN has to be better than all athletes at their respective sports? It is sad to see a pro athlete reduced to threatening people they know they can beat............. although I would laugh my ass off if Fedor was one of the guys dogging Lister online and shows up to his gym one day.
  4. Dex Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 09:05

  5. rokabee Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 09:11

    okay, i went to his gym tried telling him that he sux and that i hate him to his face, the little bitch wasn't there. so if he reads this he can come down to my gym and meet me @_@
  6. Dynamite!! Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 09:16

    one way or another, lister's putting people to sleep.
  7. Thoughts Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 09:16

    OH YEAH?!?!? Well my father will beat up his father anyday.
  8. biohazardone Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 09:18

    Does anyone know where Lister's gym is....i want the address >:(
  9. zackary Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 09:28

    Where's TUF Guy when you need him?
  10. TUF Guy Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 09:30

    Lister, from personal experience I will tell you that none of these internet einsteins will ever say anything to you in person. Don't even listen to these keyboard warriors.
  11. The Biz Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 09:37 the Nth degree!
  12. TUF Guy Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 09:39

    zac is just mad because I owned him into oblivion a few weeks back because of what his parents did
  13. zackary Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 09:40

    Hah! Just kidding everyone that was me acting like TUF Guy... I just wanted to see everyones reactions. Even I can be a giant dooshbag sometimes hahaha!
  14. Kadumel Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 09:41

    Epic... Failure...
  15. mayhem420 Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 09:43

    I dunno some guy chasing me around in a cage from the butt scoot postion would be pretty scary... kinda like some deranged zombie with no legs....
  16. Joe Duarte pwns Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 09:44

    Dean Lister isn't afraid pull out a gogoplata in a bar fight.
  17. armfarmer Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 10:02

    "one way or another, lister's putting people to sleep." I lol'd.
  18. Douchebaggery Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 10:25

    seem like he is frustrated with himself. who here isn't guilty of vomiting venom on the internet at one time or another? his idol is Uwe Boll
  19. Jimbo Slice Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 10:32

    The Evan's comment in the article was classic. Grabbin his balls and knocking people out. Very good point. Who would have thought?
  20. ecgrappler Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 10:47

    I can teach him a few things. Rexkwando techniques, bow to your SENSI!
  21. Dangada Dang Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 10:48

    Snapple Fact #136: When an overweight stroke victim broke into Brandon Vera's house, Vera challenged him to an MMA match. The rules: if Vera won, the man would have to turn himself in to the cops. If Vera lost, he would let the man jack the big screen TV he bought with his overpriced UFC contract. Vera won by split decision, and the robber skurried off into the night. p.s. Where is my goddamned Hall of Fame shirt? I have already threatened the life of my mailman and taken his family hostage
  22. Dangada Dang Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 10:51

    Snapple Fact #238: Dean Lister has been to your mothers house, and she dug his north south.
  23. Joe Duarte got beat by a NURSE! Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 10:58

    Damn, I got beat by a homo nurse...what do I do now?
  24. Dean Lister Fan Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 11:02

    I was a dean lister fan up until this unproffesional statment he has relesed and now i realize that this guy is a great grappler and maybe will become a champion one day but is a complete doucher as a human being
  25. Dagnut Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 11:07

    i think Lister may be confused here..he's A fucking PROFESSIONAL!!! we're the fans we pay his wages we have a right to complain if he performs like a limp wristed has been...WE OWN YOU LISTER HOW ABOUT THE MILLION PAYPERVIEWS BUYS COME DOWN THERE AND SAY IT TO YOUR FACE......CUNT. He seems to think like he doesn't owe anyone anything...wrong.. there's probably 20 guys who haven't had a chance waiting in the wings for a fight who aren't riding on a reputation gained years ago who would put on a better performance.
  26. Goog Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 11:19

    Who is this Don Lister? And why is he doing a "most muscular" pose at the Home and Garden Show?
  27. vrane Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 11:32

    imo he should learn some jeremy-jitsu. He wouldn't win, but it woul be more fun to watch.
  28. mississippi Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 11:37

    man im in fucking awesome shape and I could knock that dude out of course i am way bigger than him.
  29. Joey Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 11:49

    My dad can beat up Dean Lister's mom!
  30. Anton Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 12:15

    With all due respect to Dean, he sounds like a retard. Comparing MMA to ADCC is like comparing Gi vs. No Gi??? What a horrible apology, he totally blew and had no gameplan and he's gonna sit here and call out fans..
  31. ample Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 12:27

    ahhh yaaaaayuuuh Dean Lister fuckin Scissor my gaurd bitch ahhhh yah were totally gaurd scissoring, fuckin scissor me tibmers Dean!
  32. Massiveamounts Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 12:35

    First let me say that I respect anyone who has the balls to get into the cage and fight, (well Neer has tested my ways of respecting fighters but I still respect him as a fighter but that doesn't mean I dont' think hes a huge douche rocket) but Dean is really misrepresenting himself to his fans. Anyone that knows Dean knows he's not the most hard workin of individuals and as his fights will tell you he still believes you can get by with only grappling in MMA, if history of mma has told us anything it's that fighters with only grappling capabilites are becoming a thing of the past.....well the ones who win anyway. This is why Dean who's been in mma for a long time still can't punch his way out of a wet paper bag, the Okami fight had me feeling embaressed for how sloppy his striking was.....and the reason is he's not motivated to train his striking...all this "I worked harder than ever for this fight with Okami" is pure bullshit....don't let him fool you. Heres what Jamie Varner had to say to him on the same thread in the UG.....and he's 100 percent correct. Dean I've met you before and even went and trained at your gym... But I know for a fact you didn't lay it all out on the line in your camp or in the fight! You are a tremendous athlete with the right motivation and killer instinct you could be a world champ. There comes a time in every fighters life where you must ask your self why i do this... If your answer is anything related to money usually thats not the right answer and you need to hang it up. Drinking during the week while your in "camp" is not giving it 100% and you owe atleast that to your students and your fans. ADCC champ is huge and being an american and over coming all the obsticles to get was an even bigger feat! Get that hunger back and you will be unstoppable! Peace Jamie Varner Oh and in that same thread Dean not only stated that anyone who critisizes him should come see him even giving his a veiled attempt at threatening to give a beat down to anyone who spoke against him in said thread. He also stated that he expected many smart ass comments because the UG is full of young punks who have 0 life experience.........way to win over the fans Dean. He's an arrogant douche unless he feels obligated to be friendly as in at events or at appreances.....that same arrogance is why he'll never be back in the ufc, they know how he trains and his lack of commitment.
  33. Sancho Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 12:40

    He looks like every other douche that wears a TapouT shirt. Maybe the shirt made him post that up.
  34. Criminally Negligent Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 01:45

    I'm a dean lister fan but the guy likes the Vegas life a bit too much. I'm not a fun-hater, i'm just saying he should train as hard as he parties.
  35. Imbecile Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 02:24

    Dean is a decent guy, but this statement sounds like something written when he was drunk and angry with himself. But I guess if Rampage can be forgiven for multiple felonies after mourning a loss, maybe Lister can redeem himself for a rant on the UG someday too. Dean is an awesomely talented guy, but most of the time he doesn't perform up to his capabilities. When Dean is trained and motivated, he is one of the greatest grapplers on the face of the Earth. I have seen Dean pull off things I have never seen out of anyone else on the mats, but I have also seen him lose grappling matches he should have easily won. In many ways, Dean has a much more brilliant and innovative ground game than just about anyone, and that includes guys like Maia, Marcelo Garcia, and Roger Gracie. But he can be too inconsistent. It is all about him finding his motivation, and he can translate that no-gi grappling very well to MMA. But an unmotivated Dean is just an average fighter.
  36. Goog Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 02:27

    There's always work as Adam Corolla's stunt double...
  37. jomamma Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 02:50

    Dean who? shut up and clean the mats bitch.
  38. Truth2Pwr Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 03:09

    Lister's grappling acumen speaks for itself, but so do his lack of any other skills. I'm sure that if I got on the mat with Lister that he'd hand me my arms and legs back in a Hefty trash bag, but after watching his match against Okami, I'd take my punchers chance in a kickboxing match against him. OK Dean, if you're selling, I'm buying! So where do you wanna do this thang?!
  39. Imbecile Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 05:05

    Not to say that Dean isn't being a bitch in this post, because he clearly is, but those fools saying they could show up at Dean's gym, challenge him, and kick his ass by keeping it on the feet are just the internet losers he is talking about. The guy did only lose to Okami and Marquardt in the UFC.
  40. Dana White Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 05:25

    Tito Ortiz vs Dean Lister on who has the fucking biggest head ffs...
  41. Anonymous Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 07:04

    I couldn't care less about his piss poor skills and his piss poor rants. I pay to be entertained... ENTERTAIN. His performance did suck and I for one will feel a whole lot better not seeing him ever again.
  42. Fuck these assholes. Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 07:07

    Damn Dean i knew your mental game was weak but getting offended by people on the internet...... damn man no wonder why you always break down in fights.
  43. AussieJosh Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 08:53

    Id kick Listers ass anyday! And this gay guy i know at work told me he has a small dick!, Then he went on to say Lister has a small dick to! lol
  44. tysonmcneely Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 08:58

    Kudos Whichever Ben wrote this. I would nominate this for post of the year (if you had one.) Humorous title, Hilarious caption, and then way to bring it home with the 2nd to last paragraph. The only criticism is that I would've posted his whole forum post since you did about 90% of it. No Guinness for you, but that's ok... Dean will take it.
  45. Joe Duarte pwns Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 11:27

    That homo nurse comment really hurt my feelings...
  46. hmm Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 11:43

    Hey Dean Lister , I'll tell you u suck right to your face, and ill compare my superior style, technique and work ethic, with a baseball bat to your face. douchebag. yea your ground game is good, but your standup is worse than fuckin matt hamills deaf retard boxing. go join sudoku if you wanna lay and pray fag, and then you and shinji aoki can blow eachother off talking about how awesome your bjj is.
  47. Kick him in his fucking pussy! Says:

    Tue, 01/06/09 - 11:53

  48. Ozone Says:

    Wed, 01/07/09 - 05:13

    haha looks like boogerman might have a future as a cp poster after reading that
  49. CS Says:

    Wed, 01/07/09 - 06:10

    the only move i was going to teach you was to lay down like a pussy and pray your opponent will join you...but it looks like you already know that one, damn.
  50. Jay Smith Says:

    Wed, 01/07/09 - 11:21

    If I woulda known that this was the boogey man when I was a young boy, I wouldn't have slept with the light on every night.
  51. Anonymous Says:

    Sun, 01/18/09 - 10:23

    people are pathetic to write dumb shit on this thing....dean is a great fighter....he's a harder worker n loves to have let him be....whoevers talking shit is jealous he worked hard to be where he is today...
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