(‘Wish a motherf*cker would start some trouble in here.’)

So you were planning on going to protest the Democratic National Convention in Denver next week, but you’re worried about getting your ass kicked and possibly tear-gassed? Don’t even sweat it, man. Protest group Recreate ’68 has got your solution: learn some MMA.

Denver’s Gumm Mixed Martial Arts Academy (owned and operated by “two-time UFC veteran” Brad Gumm, who once beat Joe Stevenson…and then lost the subsequent rematch) is opening its doors to the protesters to help them learn some fighting skillz before it all goes down in the streets of Denver. Now try and tell me that MMA isn’t mainstream.

From DNC Disruption ’08 (via Fight Opinion):

Gumm Mixed Martial Arts Gym has provided an incredible opportunity for supporters of R-68. There will be many counter-protesters who will be accompanying us at the convention. An ounce of preparation for the worst possible scenario is a valuable and strategic move to ensure your personal safety.

Nothing would please me more than to turn on the news coverage of the DNC next week and see protesters triangle choking each other in the streets. Then, just when it turns into a chaotic, but highly technical Battle Royal, Barack Obama will have to come outside and start knocking people out with his patented Superman punch just to restore order. That’s executive power I can get behind.