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Don Frye Don’t Know the Meaning of the Word ‘Retirement’, Goddamnit


("And that’s for Pearl Harbor, you son of a bitch!" Photo courtesy of thepredatordonfrye.com.)

MMA legend/advice guru Don Frye (19-7-1), who has been representing American masculinity in no-holds-barred matches since UFC 8 in February ’96, God bless him, has just booked his next fight. According to FiveOuncesofPain, the Predator will be competing two weeks from tomorrow at Shark Fight IV in Lubbock, Texas, against Rich Moss. Moss (7-2) is a former Judo champion who once defeated TUF 9 hopeful Ray Elbe — which remains his only win over a fighter with a winning record. He’s also a middleweight, and we all know Don doesn’t give a damn about a middleweight.

Frye has the size advantage, though that didn’t help him in his most recent fight against noted fatty-hunter Ikuhisa "Minowaman" Minowa, at a DEEP show last August. Still, Frye has won three of his last five matches, so maybe the old bastard still has some spark left in him. The complete Shark Fight IV card looks like this:

Don Frye vs. Rich Moss
Rex Richards vs. Darill Schoonover
Shannon Ritch vs. TJ Wallburger
Jesse Taylor vs. Eric Davilla
Wayne Cole vs. Marcus Sursa
Phil Cardella vs. Johnny Flores
Louis Luna vs Douglas Frey
Brandi Hainey vs. Jessica Miramontes
Aaron Garcia va. Elmar Muller

Bonus "Dear Don" brilliance after the jump…


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Bootylam!- April 20, 2009 at 11:02 am
Frye's stache contains more test than most men's entire body. My sister took a blood sample from him and grew a grew a mustache for a month. I shook his hand once and my bench went up 50 pounds. Absolute facts.
aj- April 18, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Don Frye and James Von Prague are the same person
WAR BONG- April 18, 2009 at 12:49 pm
WAR BONG sed- sunchips...do not want...jussayin...bishes.
Anonymous- April 18, 2009 at 10:35 am
Sun chips are for broads!
My Fight Wiffa Cheeto- April 18, 2009 at 7:25 am
This story was just an excuse to put Mongo's name back out there son.
Anonymous- April 18, 2009 at 5:38 am
sunchips...do not want!
auzzy- April 17, 2009 at 7:51 pm
You better follow up CP and make the video of Don easy viewing instead of me taking forever trying to find the videos like the last WEC event.
PurplePickle- April 17, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Check out the marriage advise video. Nothing says badass like Don Frye wiping down a dragunov sniper rifle.
CAPS LOCK HAL......- April 17, 2009 at 7:09 pm
HEY FRANK MUR. I'M SORRY TO TELL YOU THAT CAPS LOCK HAL IS NOT TUF GUY. NOT A FUCKING CHANCE YOU DUMB FUCKING MORON. I AM ME, AND THAT IT. I'M NOT LIKE YOU STUPID COCK SUCKERS WHO PLAY AS IF YOUR SEVERAL OTHER PEOPLE. FUCK YOU FOR EVEN THINKING SUCH STUPID SHIT YOU DUMB SON OF A BITCH. COME GET YOU SOME MOTHER FUCKER. YOUR A FUCKING COWARD, AND YOU KNOW YOU ARE. YOUR A DAMN PUSSY YOU STUPID FUCK.
Long Nuts Himself- April 17, 2009 at 6:41 pm
Now that's a dude with loooong nuts!
Frank Mur- April 17, 2009 at 6:07 pm
CAPS LOCK HAL IS TUF GUY!! why didn't I see this before!!!
PurplePickle- April 17, 2009 at 4:34 pm
CP should have a weekly interview with Don Frye...and pay him handsomely for it. Hasn't he earned it?
Not First- April 17, 2009 at 3:53 pm
LOL "representing American masculinity...since UFC8"
walrus- April 17, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Don Frye's the king.

Lyle- April 17, 2009 at 3:24 pm
LOL that caption is gold.
Anonymous420- April 17, 2009 at 3:00 pm
LOL advice god don frye
Anonymous- April 17, 2009 at 2:49 pm
It wasn't Ken as Don said who lost his virginity to Freddy Mercury it was Frank, only it wasnt Freddy Mercury, it was Tyrone Uranus when Franky was locked up...easy to mix up since Franky wound up hitting some high notes that night..."Bismillah! we will not let you go!" "Let me go!"
DcK rasta bean- April 17, 2009 at 2:28 pm
i couldnt stop lauging in the "doesnt give a dam bout a middleweight" when he was waving the snake around with authority at the end
Luke- April 17, 2009 at 2:15 pm
and thats for pearl Harbor you son of a bitch. thats hillarious
Eat My Buns- April 17, 2009 at 2:14 pm
LMAO ohhh Don...
Don- April 17, 2009 at 2:05 pm
That was the funniest caption ever. CP go ahead and send me your address and I'll send you a T-Shirt for that one!
rokabee- April 17, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Tsk tsk at jesse taylor.
CAPS LOCK HAL......- April 17, 2009 at 1:42 pm
BUT I LIKE TO YELL AT PEOPLE. THATS ALL I DO ALL DAY LONG, EVEN AT WORK. I YELL AT MY FAMILY, FRIENDS, NEIGHBORS, AND CO-WORKERS. I EVEN YELL AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR AT LEAST TWICE A DAY. I JUST REALLY LOVE TO YELL SO FUCK OFF YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCHES. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, THATS JUST TO DAMN BAD BECAUSE YOUR GONNA DEAL WITH IT YOU FUCKING IGNORANT MORON FUCK. FUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU.......

henropotter- April 17, 2009 at 1:41 pm
sitting at my desk with my headphones on laughing like an idiot after watching that don fry video. god those are still great
Danxxx- April 17, 2009 at 1:36 pm
primero¡¡
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