If you haven’t been keeping up with Don Frye‘s advice column on IFL.tv, you’re missing out on the collected wisdom of a man who’s seen it all. The former coach of the Tuscon Scorpions and one-half of the greatest brawl in history, Frye dishes out more sage words in the new installment of “Dear Don,” including this bit of his advice to a reader who thinks he may be developing a Vicodin addiction:
Here’s the hard truth: life is pain. There’s no pill that can take that away without taking something else away in the process. What you need to do is decide what level of pain you can live with, and then ease off the pills.
Let me tell you, when I wake up in the morning I’m pretty much always in pain. Most mornings I feel like I got shot out of a cannon. Other mornings it’s really bad. You just have to learn to live with it. Try easing off from Vicodin to Advil. Tequila don’t hurt, either.
In other words, if you can buy it at a convenience store, it ain’t no goddamned addiction.
Also, if you have a Magnum P.I.-caliber mustache, you can get away with ridiculous pre-fight staredowns like this. Eskimo kisses!