Do you guys remember where you were when you found out that Don Frye had shaved his legendary mustache? I do. I was on the toilet, weeping into my paperback copy of The Fault in Our Stars while blaring Paula Cole’s “Where Have All the Cowboy’s Gone?” to drown out the sound of my cries, as has become my standard Sunday morning ritual. It was with tear filled eyes that I opened up CagePotato to see in what fashion Saccaro had managed to shit on the previous night’s UFC event when I was instead greeted by the horrific image of a plain-lippy Don Frye. There he was, the most rugged man to ever walk the face of the earth, with his upper lip just exposed for everyone to see. Like some kind of broad.
The paramedics told me I had lost nearly a quart of blood by the time they kicked my door down.
It was a traumatic day to say the least, but in any case, I’m glad to see that Frye had the good sense to grow his stache back out for his UFC 175 edition of “Predator’s Picks.” Not only that, but he’s managed to secure himself a sponsor, ApplauseStore.com, which sells whatever the f*ck television tickets are supposed to be. It’s no Priceline.com, but good on him.
Watching Frye refer to Marcus Brimage’s 67% decision ratio as “disgusting” while ordering some bimbo in Daisy Dukes to get him more whiskey is all it took to restore my faith in the two-time UFC champion from back when men were men, and it’s all it should take for you to do the same. His declaration that he’d rather “jump a tall fence and catch his scrotum on a nail” than watch Ronda Rousey vs. Alexis Davis, however, might send your respect for him plummeting right back to Earth. But have you even seen the odds for that noise? Pssshhh…
Check out Frye’s “Predator’s Picks” for UFC 175 above, then be sure to tweet at me how much you hated it with the hashtag #WeekofDanga.