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Efrain Escudero’s TUF 8 Blog: Episode 10

(John Polakowski has the best bro-clinch in the game.)

In this week of The Ultimate Fighter it was the last fight before the semi-finals. We are getting down to the wire. The two guys who are fighting, John Polakowski and George Roop, are both real good friends of mine. Me and George go way back since the Arizona days; John is just a guy I met in the house but how can you not like him? He just loves life. Him and his hugs, and you gotta love his saying “FIRE THE CANNONS!!!!”

Before the fight everyone is expecting a prank but who would do it to which guy first? They decided to pull the prank on John and his Lucky Charms. That was a mistake!! I thought it was hilarious due to the fact that they took the time to remove every marshmallow from the box. After all, they are the best part. John was pissed. He announced no more hugs for the blue team — he means business. He is like a man possessed. During training I’d been working with John on his wrestling. I know George has some good ground game so I wanted to help out my teammate.

During George’s training with Team Mir, he got his hand caught up in the cage and it was fucked up. It looked like a surgical balloon had been blown up. George is a tough dude so I knew he would be out there anyway. I thought this would give a definite advantage to John. Closer to fight time John started to become his old self again, and decided that he and George would hug before the fight. This was hilarious — I personally wouldnt be able to do that, especially with the guy standing in the way of a six-figure contract to the UFC. But hey, that’s John for you.

(You cannot stop Junie Browning. You can only hope to contain him to the hot-tub area.)

The bell rings, the boys hug, and they get after it. They start to exchange well and it is an absolute war. John gets tired and George takes him to the ground and exploits John’s weakness. It was a solid round one. The second round comes along and John lands some good shots and hurts George. I thought John would finish George off but Roop held on for the unanimous decision. I would have liked to see a third round although I agree with the decision. It was just a hell of a fight.

So now it’s time to sit down with Dana and the coaches and match up the semis. I knew Junie wanted to fight me and the feeling was mutual. I told Dana that Junie was the weakest in the house. Junie is all talk and we have seen that throughout the season. He wanted me and now he’s got me…and this time when he jumps the cage he’ll have something waiting for him. Be sure to watch next week for some more fireworks.


Other notes on the episode…

— Since Efrain and Junie are fighting, that means Phillipe and George are facing each other on the other side of the lightweight bracket. George’s right eye was completely swollen shut after the John P. fight, and we’d assume his hand is still effed up, so the relatively fresh Phillipe definitely has the advantage here — particularly if the fight goes into round two, since Roop’s cardio didn’t look too hot either.

— The light-heavyweight semis will be Ryan Bader vs. Eliot Marshall, and K-Sos vs. Vinny. If you’ve been keeping count, that means Mir has five fighters in the semis, to Nog’s three. After the George/John fight, Team Mir has a cathartic gloating session, reveling in the fact that they didn’t have to love each other to have the strongest team.

— Scenes from the next episode show Dana White visiting the house again to deal with Junie’s antics. Browning was given a second chance earlier in the season — it’s hard to imagine that he’ll get a third. Will we see another lightweight placed into the semis if he gets sent packin’?

— Polakowski weighed in at 153 pounds, and that’s with a diet high in sugary cereals. He may be better off as a featherweight.

— Polakowski on mankind’s collective estrangement: “Nobody gives real hugs anymore. They just go through the motions.”

Shane Nelson on the Lucky Charms prank: “They must be magically delicious for him to get that upset about it.”

(Aw hell, why not.)

Cagepotato Comments

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Count Chocula- November 23, 2008 at 10:12 am
I have been told i am the BIG NOG of Cereals...undeniably tough and brutal but with a sweet soft centre
Bootylam!- November 22, 2008 at 6:22 am
Cookie Crisp is the Fedor of cereal! [Yes, I'm back, and full of piss, vinegar, and chorizo.]
Steelcity- November 22, 2008 at 3:19 am
You nuthuggers crack me up. You think that you can predict these fight with no knowledge of the fighter at all, save for what the TUF producers have chosen to show you.

"I pick Bader vs. Vinny" You have seen a combined total of maybe 3 minutes of these guys engaged in actual the fuck can you make a prediction based on that?
Wheaties- November 21, 2008 at 6:55 am
Any cereal sounds good right now, in a bowl of milk from Arianny's teets.
Fedor- November 21, 2008 at 2:19 am
Fuck Wheaties, I eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch 5 minutes before every fight.

That is because Cinnamon Toast Crunch makes me unstoppable.

All other cereals would drop like Tim Sylvia.
Beqwith- November 20, 2008 at 9:55 pm
No wonder Polakowski lost. Them marshmallows are jacked full of stevia. You don't fuck with a man's stevia supply right before a fight.
Robert Forsyt- November 20, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Thank you Cream of Wheat people are forgetting about the founding family of Ultimate Fighting Cereals, the Pebbles, they are to the UFC what the Gracie's are to the UFC.

I mean in the first few tournaments Cocoa couldn't be beat, unfortunately his illegitimate gay son Fruity Pebbles couldn't live up to the hype.
cream of wheat- November 20, 2008 at 3:29 pm
what no mention of rice crispies, cookie crisp, fruity pebbles or the greatest of all cocoa pebbles???
House Cleaner- November 20, 2008 at 2:06 pm
We all know junie is kicked out.. if you listen to dana's last blog on ufc 91 junie says he straightened up after he got kicked out..Listen to the video closely...
Olie- November 20, 2008 at 8:48 am
The cardio in the fight this week was terrible!!!

In fact quite a few fighters have had really terrible cardio. If you have rubbish cardio you had better hope you can hit bloody hard.
Ian- November 20, 2008 at 7:33 am
When Junie was running up from the hot tub they were all shouting at him 'Junie, you are in the finals' so he wouldn't do anything bad. The editing this season has been terrible.
Shooter- November 20, 2008 at 2:30 am
Junie Browning doesn't eat lucky charms. He does, however, eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.
walrus- November 19, 2008 at 10:38 pm
funny ass caption on the Junie pick.

And fuck lucky charms -- it's either fruit loops or frosted flakes
the easy lover- November 19, 2008 at 10:13 pm
hitting someone with something funny is always a win because every time they retell the story they have to say"you hit me with a t-bone steak"
Old, Bald and Stays Crunchy in Milk- November 19, 2008 at 10:06 pm
Ahhh..."Anonymous ".

You're bringin' back memories for me....

Dude, I was there at Ultimate Fighting Cereals #1 when Quaker Oats got choked the fuck out by the unknown Brazilian newcomer Quisp. Man, that was classic shit. Ain't nobody seen a ground game like old Quisp. Too bad about him being found riddled with bullets, overdosed on meth in front of a Bolivian whore house. But hey, that's the fight game. Nobody wants to die pretty!
Mike- November 19, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Hearing Nogeria yell out "PROTECT YA NECK!"

Probably the greatest day on my existence...
James- November 19, 2008 at 9:25 pm
hard to imagine somone who likes hugs so much wouldnt have a better ground game or a decent clinch...but john seems a tough guy to figure out anyway, i mean we all know that count chocula would have put him over the top by giving him vapiristic powers but i guess he's still new to the game
Demon Cobras- November 19, 2008 at 9:01 pm
I pick Bader vs. Vinny and Efrain vs. Nover. I will be right.
Anonymous- November 19, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Brutal Fail, I mean lucky charms. LOL
Anonymous- November 19, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Captain Crunch has the biggest frame in his division, steroids don't make your skeletal structure bigger, and he doesn't look overly muscled for how big his frame IS. You're just mad that a guy that size is as athletic as he his and is able to use his physical gifts to his advantage as he does. Yeah it may seem unfair at times, but it's not like he's untested either. That one time Cinnamon Toast Crunch rocked him I thought, like a lot of people, that he couldn't take a punch, but I was wrong. Cinnamon Toast Crunch may have cut his right eyebrow clean off but Captain Crunch came to fight and ultimately won in the second with a big right cross. It was a good match, and I don't want to take anything away from Cinnamon Toast Crunch as he'll always be a legend, but this is Captain Crunch's time now, the only question left is who is going to stop him!
Demon Cobras- November 19, 2008 at 8:52 pm
I pick Bader vs. Vinny and Efrain vs. Nover.
Dirty Douche Dude- November 19, 2008 at 8:48 pm
@you all-
Bull-Cockey! The only reason Lucky Charms won those fights is because he was roided the fuck out, and even then the fight with Golden Grahams was amazing, he just got caught! Every cereal gets caught once in awhile. Golden Grahams has been LIVING in the gym and hes ready for the rematch.
Anonymous- November 19, 2008 at 8:41 pm
remember Ultimate Fighting Cereals 4: Spilled Milk. That card was awesome. Count Chocula's TKO of Boo-Berry, and the legendary grudge match between Grape Nuts and Wheaties. That fight really lived up to the hype, it was unfortunate how it ended like a did. A furious stand up war and grappling clinic like that ending in a no-contest when Grape Nuts pulled a groin muscle and had to be hospitalized.
Sloppy seconds- November 19, 2008 at 8:41 pm
See, this is where you guys are all jacked up. General mills might be the top dawg organization at this point but the boxless brand Malt-O-Meal has signed on knock off greats like Marshmallow Mateys, new Coco Roos, and veteran Colossal Crunch who, I feel, will knock 7 shade of shit out of the captain. That's just me. Oh, and ticket price is cut in half.
Fahey- November 19, 2008 at 8:08 pm
I can see this leading to an Ultimate Fighter the cereal edition.

Cage Potato is setting up the brackets as we speak to settle this.