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Efrain Escudero’s TUF 8 Blog: Episode 5

(Team Nog smears sardines on the hearts that Tom Lawlor spent all week airbrushing. Seriously, though, what is up with this goddamned room? Does Abigail Breslin live in the TUF house too?)

During this week of The Ultimate Fighter you all got to see the final reaction with Junie jumping the cage and calling me out. What a disaster. Upon coming on to the show I knew that I had to be calm and level-headed. There was no way in hell I would throw my career away for a stupid fight over pride. That was the only thing that was going through my head when he jumped the cage. So I just kept cool and collected and no hard feelings — after all, it’s just Junie.

After that episode of Junie TV, I decided to continue being me and doing what I was doing. So I put on my smirk. After my fight with Shane the guys pulled a prank on me and put my underwear in the freezer. Which at the time I thought was pretty funny, nothing but a harmless prank. The Red Team and I searched high and low all over that place, and finally found them in the bottom of the freezer. Good one, ha-ha, but soon things escalated and went a little further. They put itching powder on the Red Team’s beds which was horrible. After a long day and an even longer hunt for my underwear all I wanted to do was sleep — then my body starts to itch along with Kyle and some of the other guys. Needless to say we were upset. Messing with a fighters underwear is one thing but messing with his sleep…not cool.

After that it was time to hit the old laundry room. It took me about an hour to get my sheets clean and I was pretty pissed about that. After the itching powder scene, Kyle and the gang decided to get sardines and put them all over the Blue Team’s room. It smelled horrible. Mir’s team gets home and they were not very happy about it, especially Vinny. Vinny definitely took it the wrong way and for some reason I got the worst end of it. The man PISSED on my pillow. To be completely honest it was not a big deal for me, it was like whatever. Once again I have to make sure I keep my head — no way I am going to blow my shot at the UFC. I just ordered a new pillow, no worries. However, just the fact that he pissed on my pillow was pretty bad in itself. I decided not to retaliate and stay focused on my game plan.

Now the light heavyweights have to match up, and Nogueira picks Shane Primm to fight Eliot Marshal. Both these guys have incredible ground games, so I thought that it could go either way. But it wasn’t too much of fight — Eliot got Shane to the ground took his back and got the choke. After the fight I was pretty upset because I could have never pictured it ending in the first round. I expected a chess match. Besides Shane losing I was also pretty upset because we lost control of the fight picks. However, there was one thing that got me in high spirits again. I got pumped because Eliot did the worst thing he could have ever done in the house: CALLING OUT RYAN BADER.


Other notes on last night’s episode…

— According to Dana White, Junie would have gotten kicked off the show for jumping the cage if NSAC executive director Keith Kizer was there. “This kid’s got nine lives,” Dana said. And who’s supplying him with these lives, hmmmmmm? Junie says that going on TUF was “the worst fucking decision I made.”

Anderson Silva shows up to school Team Nog in Muay Thai. The guys love him, even as he kicks the crap out of them. There’s a great moment as Silva lets Bader haul off on him full-strength during a sparring session. Even Stankie watches in amazement.

Eliot Marshall, who is half-Jewish and half-African American, discussing his childhood: “I was a geek, nobody liked me, I didn’t really fit in too well.” It’s possible that his unpopularity had nothing to do with his ethnicity, and more to do with the fact that he’s an abrasive dickwad who had the audacity to mouth off to Nogueira when Big Nog politely asked Team Mir to cool it with the pranks. Marshall and K-Sos are just getting started, prank-wise.

— When informed about the sardine prank, Stankie goes on a brief and terrifying rant about sardines. He offers $100 to anyone who will eat sardines with him. I think. It’s hard to understand him when he gets excited.

— After the Marshall/Primm fight, Eliot gives Tom Lawlor a high-five which seems to shatter Tom’s limp wrist. While all the other guys wear different colors of TapouT shirts, Tom has taken to wearing pink polo shirts exclusively.

— Vinny is a hothead who takes everything very personally. Eliot makes a comment about meeting K-Sos in the finals, and Vinny won’t let it go, even after E apologizes. “I’d beat them both on the same night if I had to,” he says.

— On the next episode: Junie finally gets to fight. Mir chooses the mild-mannered Roli Delgado as his opponent. Roli’s BJJ black belt credentials are called into question. Junie says Roli bought his black belt from McDonald’s. After what looks like a grueling weight-cut, Junie shoves Roli and spits at his feet. Clips are shown from the fight and it looks like a war.

Cagepotato Comments

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bob- October 17, 2008 at 1:59 pm
"Being half black and half jewish could be a good combo…unfortunately, Eliot is hung like a jew and has a black man’s sense of fiscal responsibility."

A black man is about to be your President.
KTFO- October 16, 2008 at 8:56 am
If you were wondering what the worst part of being a black jew is, it's having to sit in the BACK of the oven. Thank you, I'll be here all week.
martin- October 16, 2008 at 7:29 am
bader is the one they refer to the next anderson silvia
Anonymous- October 16, 2008 at 12:31 am
Junie is a fuckin idiot... bad rep to all mma fighters
tremblay6- October 15, 2008 at 10:22 pm
dana white said in a call in to a radio show the other day and said junie isn't the one he was calling the next anderson silva, it could very well be phillipe he seemed impressive in the original fight. frank also gets his hair cut, he lost in a challenge of some sort to nog and had to cut it he appeared on a ppv and joe rogan explained his hair was short by losing a bet on the show.
Payday- October 15, 2008 at 10:17 pm
TUF is doing an awesome job of promoting MMA is such a positive light. Maybe Dana should stock the bar with cocaine and weed as well, and bring in a few hookers as well. That is about all that piece of shit show is missing. Oh,t hat and a few trailer park residents. Errr...scratch that, Junie is there.
Arsenal- October 15, 2008 at 9:14 pm
Roli seems to be a nice guy, so Frank trying to put him down about his BJJ belt and embarassing him infront of the rest just seems so lame.

I want Roli to win that fight so bad its crazy.

Who knows, the next Anderson Silva could be Roli!!.....ok maybe not
TheJoker- October 15, 2008 at 7:18 pm
The writers asked what was up with the room....

That house is in Summerlin (Sub outside of Vegas) its owned by a produciton company for the purpose of adult film scenes, and music video shots.
Bovice- October 15, 2008 at 6:21 pm
MMA-hole, fucking brilliant. Eliot better start pumping his brakes before Big Nog snaps his arms
Don't Ask Don't Tell- October 15, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Could Tom Lawlor be the not-so-secretly-closeted TUFer?
Fenix- October 15, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Good stuff Dr. I was LMAO on that. Im also one who doesn't care for Frank teh ghey hair Mir. I hope Big Nog beats the shite out of his @ss!
Dr.- October 15, 2008 at 3:14 pm
In the clip for next week's episode I lost a lot a what respect I had for Mir. He always comes across a pompous know-it-all on Inside MMA but him trying to make a TUF contestant feel shitty about his training or previous JJ experience? What a fucking elitist douchebag. You're no better than the punk-bitch Junie. What purpose did it serve YOU, Frank to trash someone who is just trying to make a career. And someone who you'll never face given the weight difference.

BTW, you fucking lost to Brandon Vera. You don't piss excellence as much as you think and your shit still stinks like EVERYONE else. And cut your fucking dumbass pubic hair you have on your head and face. You look like fucking Mickey Mouse. Smug asshole. Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.
Billy Bad Ass- October 15, 2008 at 2:58 pm
"So I just kept cool and collected and no hard feelings — after all, it’s just Junie."
- Efrain

Me thinks someone is losing next week to a guy who got beat in the round of 32...
Blackleg- October 15, 2008 at 1:43 pm
While I actually think Nog was out of line for showing up at the house with his dementia-crazed side-kick (should have just talked to Mir and left it at that) I am impressed that he genuinely takes the coaching thing seriously.

Christ just look at how he conducts himself when compared to Rampage's contribution of gape-mouthed snoozing on the mats while his team tried to get their work-out going.
Dusty- October 15, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Fenix - I couldn't agree with you more!

Maybe Junie is the one Dana White referred to as being like Anderson Silva!

I have to wonder why the hell he didn't kick him off the show - especially after the second episode of jumping over the cage for no ryme or reason and acting like a learning disable emotionally disturbed youth. Maybe Dana thinks that higher ratings for the show is more important than having decent guys representing the sport.

Scott- October 15, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Dude, Eliot has some balls to be mouthing off to Nogueira. Maybe he hadn't looked at the Cagepotato rankings for heavyweights and PfP... stupid ass. Big Nog is a nice guy, but he'd kill Eliot. Then to top it off calling out Bader after the fight?! Dude has a deathwish.
Fenix- October 15, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Almost forgot

Anderson Silva = A BEAST, but we already knew that.
Fenix- October 15, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Junie = Dumbf*** who was probably raped as a child
Elliot = Disrespectful prick
Vinny = Full of himself
K-sos = annoying, enough is enough you douche
Mir = Punk for not teaming up with Nogueira and settle the guys down

Nogueira = Seems like an awesome coach and all around guy. Id be on his team
Red Team = Level headed guys who are taking things seriously

Crap Factory- October 15, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Maybe next week we'll all be rid of that little douche Junie. Someone should have pulled the pin on his grenade tattoo a long time ago.
MMA-hole- October 15, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Being half black and half jewish could be a good combo...unfortunately, Eliot is hung like a jew and has a black man's sense of fiscal responsibility.
BredForWar- October 15, 2008 at 12:34 pm
***It’s possible that his unpopularity had nothing to do with his ethnicity, and more to do with the fact that he’s an abrasive dickwad who had the audacity to mouth off to Nogueira***

lol classic
Lone wolf- October 15, 2008 at 12:28 pm
Not even romotely amazed at how much of a fool Junie is.....the kid never learns.