(Kind of a strange thing to ask someone on the way to the grocery store.)

Last night’s episode of the Ultimate Fighter was one of the more foul shows airing on this week’s television lineup. By this time in the house everyone was getting tired of each other and going a bit insane, so of course since there is nothing better to do, the pranksters in us start to come out. For a few days now Lawlor had been getting these fruit platters delivered to him. So we decided it would be a good idea to eat it all before he got a chance to have any. Everyday we would get back from practice, rush to the fridge, and grab Lawlor’s fruit, and I must say it was delicious. This was no ordinary fruit platter…this was Tom Lawlor‘s fruit haha.

This was going on a for a few days and Lawlor wasn’t too happy. So while we were at practice Lawlor decided it was time for a little revenge. We all had come to an understanding while in the house and agreed to not mess with each other’s food. Lawlor was thinking like a lawyer on this kind of revenge, finding a work around. Nowhere did we say you couldn’t mess with your own food, so that’s what he did. The blue team went a few rounds pissing in the fruit tray. So after our practice we got back to the house and opened the fridge and there it was, so Bader got the tray, took it up to the room and a few of the guys went to town on it. They were eating piss fruit.

I would like to set the record straight I DID NOT EAT ANY OF THE FRUIT WITH PISS IN IT!!!! Let me repeat: I DID NOT EAT ANY OF THE FRUIT WITH THE PISS IN IT!! The editors did a hell of a job making it look that way, but if you notice the fruit I was eating was not in the same room. I guess that’s why SPIKE pays those guys well, but one more time I did not eat piss fruit haha. Philippe was pretty disgusted by it. Kingsbury wasn’t bothered by it — he was cracking jokes. It was pretty funny since it didn’t happen to me.

So fight announcements come and it’s Phillipe vs Kaplan. I think Kaplan is all talk, so it should be interesting to see how it plays out. Back at the house, the messing with other people’s food saga continues to roll on. For quite some time Phillipe has been ordering sushi and people continue to eat it
before he gets a chance. Phillipe is a pretty quiet guy and doesn’t make a fuss, but this time you can tell he was upset so he addressed the issue but didn’t get too bent out of shape. We all knew the bandit was Kaplan so I gave Phillipe the heads up.

Kingsbury came up with a plan to get the thief. They decided to prepare the sushi with some of Kyle’s secret sauce..which has been in the family for centuries. After a few minutes in the bathroom Kyle whipped up a batch and they put it on the sushi nice and careful. They put the sushi back in fridge and low and behold, Kaplan had a few rolls!!! Kyle started bashing him a little bit and finally told him what happened. Dave got pissed, saying his revenge was going to be way worse than anything they could imagine. Which I think is kind of weak…there was no rule against messing with your own food. So if you want to take the chance, you know anything can be happen. If they had purposely done it to Kaplan’s food, there would be an issue — but since he was a thief he got some punishment. He should
consider himself lucky. “Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.”-Wayne Campbell

So it’s fight time…the fighters come out and Phillipe drops a few bombs on Kaplan and he crumbles. Nover keeps the pressure on Kaplan until he gives up his back and gets the choke. Kaplan said his strategy was to take Nover’s best shots…I think he knew it was going to be a hard fight so he took the easy way out.

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Other notes on the episode…

– Dave Kaplan, a former Division I wrestler, spent seven months in Holland being trained in kickboxing by Ernesto Hoost.

– Mentally, Phillipe Nover is “ready to die” when he enters the cage. He’s also a fan of almost-hatched duck eggs, which kind of look like boiled testicles.

– Junie is not to be trusted. Ever.

– Phillipe Nover reminds Dana White of a young GSP. “He has so much potential it’s scary.”

– The capital of Zaire, which is now the Democratic Republic of the Congo, is Kinshasa.

(John Polakowski isn’t dying of AIDS; he’s living with AIDS.)

(“Wellington.”)