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‘EliteXC: Heat’ — Beatdown by Beatdown

Spoiler alert: Ninja, Gina, Andrei, Jake, and Kimbo (!) are going to win, maybe all within the first round. If you’re curious about how exactly it’ll happen, read on. Hit that “more” link and refresh the page every few minutes to get all the latest updates from the live CBS broadcast, comin’ atcha from the BankAtlantic Center in Sunrise, Florida. Seriously though, this is about to be some lopsided shit. Grab some beers.

Get this: At about 6:20 p.m. ET, MMA Rated passed along the word that Ken Shamrock sustained a cut above his eye in the last 24 hours while training, forcing him to pull out of tonight’s main event against Kimbo Slice. Frank Shamrock — who is handling commentary tonight for CBS — actually volunteered to step in as a last-minute replacement, but he isn’t licensed to fight in Florida, so EliteXC instead had their eyes on KOTC brawler/UFC castoff Seth Petruzelli, who was supposed to face Aaron Rosa on tonight’s undercard. Then, MMA Rated reported that a very shady doctor was found who cleared Shamrock to fight around 7 p.m., saving “Heat” from one of the greatest Epic Fails in MMA history. Well, we hope. MMA Weekly now says that the fight has a 50/50 chance of happening. Other sources say the fight is 100% dunzo.

Update: Ariel Helwani tells Ben Fowlkes (who tells me) that Seth Petruzelli is 100% in as Ken’s replacement. Wow. On the bright side, Kimbo is finally fighting a legitimate heavyweight who isn’t riding an eight-fight losing streak. This should be interesting…

Update #2: “JM” wins the t-shirt. Shoot your address and size to feedback@cagepotato.com, brah.

CagePotato.com’s EliteXC: Heat liveblog is brought to you by Old Speckled Hen and Debbie’s Killer Wings.

Quick poll: Does the replacement of Ken Shamrock with Seth Petruzelli make this event more or less compelling for you?

The broadcast begins with Gina, Kimbo, Andrei, and Jake slow-walking in front of a sunset, a narrator descriving how badass they are. Then we have a highlight montage, which even features Mauro Ranallo in slow-mo. They show Ken shoving Kimbo at the weigh-ins, a total bitch move — real sub-WWE shit. Gus Johnson confirms that Ken is out and Seth is in. We cut to a very disappointed Ken Shamrock. His cut, which required six stitches, does indeed look pretty nasty. But Shamrock expresses that he’d rather fight through it. (“I’ll fight right now…I’ve fought worse than this.”) He apologizes. He says “Kimbo deserves a beating, and I’m gonna give it to him.” Alright, stop talking now so we can get on with it.

Frank Shamrock wonders aloud why Ken is training this hard so early before the fight, “jeopardizing his career and the Shamrock family legacy.”

We see Kimbo walking backstage with his entourage. Icey Mike is definitely in the mothafuckin’ house. And there’s the first Affliction commercial of the night, plugging Fedor Emelianenko and his “signature line.”

Murilo “Ninja” Rua vs. Benji Radach
Fun fact: Radach is a practitioner of “facesmashing fu.”
Round 1: Radach rushes in with punches, then some more, rocking Rua. Rua swings back, but he’s in trouble. Radach nails Rua again, and swarm him against the cage. Rua tries to clinch, but Radach punches out of it. They both connect and we almost get a double KO as both fighters go down! Groggily, Radach crawls over to Rua and tries to get on top but Rua gets up and clinches. Radach is bloody. Radach thinks about a gillotine, but Rua backs him off and lands a flying knee. Radach takes Rua down and takes his back. Rua twists around and tries for an armbar. Radach gets on top and Rua tries for an ankle lock. It’s a close call, but Radach escapes. Rua tries again for the foot lock, Radach escapes again and gets to his feet. They soon go to the ground again and the bell rings as Rua tries for a rear-naked choke. Amazing round.

Round 2: Rua with a hard leg kick, then a nice knee to the body. Radach brushes him back with a left hook. Radach sticks Rua with a punch as Rua comes in for a kick, then lands a big straight right. Rua clinches and goes for the single leg, but Radach shakes out. Rua slips while throwing a flying knee and falls on his back. Radach jumps on top and punches Rua’s lights out. KO, Radach, 2:31 of round 1.

Gina Carano says she’s considering going to 145 from now on. “Conditioning isn’t an issue, but the steam room is.”

Gina Carano vs. Kelly Kobold
Kobold gets some boos. A Team Bison member, her rash guard plugs DoWork.com. (That’s like CareerBuilder, right?)
Round 1: Kobold gets cracked going in for a takedown, and clinches with Carano against the fence. Carano gets a knee in, but she seems to be overpowered. Kobold trying hard for the single-leg but Carano gets out and starts throwing leather. Both women land shots before Carano gets the thai clinch and throws a couple knees. Kobold bulls Carano against the cage, trying again for the takedown. Carano escapes. Kobold is bleeding from the forehead. Carano takes a hard punch as the round ends.

By the way, Cyborg won a decision against Yoko Takahashi earlier in the evening.

Round 2: Carano lands a nice right and throws a flurry, smelling blood. Kobold grabs on to stops the damage. Kobold tries for a guillotine, but Carano escapes and throws punches. Kobold slips in a left hook, Carano answers with her own. Then a right from Carano. Carano is sticking n’ moving very well now, but Kobold doesn’t stop moving forward. Tough broad. Kobold rushes forward pinwheeling her arms then gets a takedown. Kobold throwing down shots from the top as the round ends. A lot closer fight than expected.

Round 3: Kobold bulling forward, clinches with Carano against the cage. Kobold really wants to take it to the ground, but Carano’s defense is solid. Gina looking for a guillotine. A stalemate against the cage and the crowd boos. The ref separates them. Kobold’s punches are wild, but she gets Gina against the cage again. Knee from Carano. Carano sinks in a weird side choke from the top, but Kobold pulls out. Gina lands two punches and two front kicks, and three body kicks as the round ends. She stole the round in the last 15 seconds, and will probably get the decision. Kobold was tenacious, but didn’t do enough damage. Meanwhile, Kelly’s face is bleeding hard. Judges love blood.

Sorry, technical difficulties. Gina wins the unanimous decision.

Roy Nelson vs. Andrei Arlovski
Next to Andrei, Roy just looks like some short fat guy.
Round 1: Arlovski lands two leg kicks and Nelson clinches against the cage. Nelson takes Arlovski down and gets on top, passing quickly to side control. Nelson tries for the straight armlock, but Arlovski gets out. Arlovski pops out from under Nelson, kicking him off, but Nelson dives back on into half-guard. Nelson again works for an armlock from the top. The ref brings them back to their feet. Nelson whiffs on a huge haymaker and clinches again with Arlovski against the cage. Arlovski gets in a nice knee to Nelson’s face, then one to the body. The ref breaks up the stalemate against the cage. Arlovski lands a leg kick and a solid straight punch. Nelson swings and misses. Nelson again pushing Arlovski against the cage and the crowd boos. The round ends.

Tito Ortiz says he’s about a week away from signing with Elite. Ooh! He says he’d like a rematch with Frank Shamrock.

Round 2: Arlovski gets in two punches, but slips and Nelson mobs him against the cage. Arlovski gets out and gets in a right straight then a head kick, wobbling Nelson. Arlovski gets the thai clinch and drives in a knee, then a punch flurry when Nelson wriggles out, and Arlovski finds Nelson’s off button. He hits the mat in a heap. Great knockout punch, 3:14 of round 2.

Oh, hey: The person who predicts the ending of Kimbo/Petruzelli the closest gets a CagePotato “Hall of Fame” t-shirt.

Jake Shields vs. Paul Daley
Shields runs out to the cage with his championship belt over his shoulder. Dude’s psyched.
Round 1: Jake Shields throws some kicks to start, then shoots for a takedown, but Daley sprawls and stuffs it. Good leg kick by Daley. Shields shoots for another takedown and gets it. He passes to side control, then full mount. Daley is jammed up against the cage; a bad spot. Shields throws down some punches from the top. Daley tries to wriggle out, but Shields sticks on him, posturing up and dropping shots. Shields is high on Daley’s chest now, jackhammering punches. Daley’s covering up, but has no answer. Shields tries for an armbar, but can’t get it. He tries again, and Daley rolls on top of Shields, bashing him with elbows. The round ends. Still, it was Shields’s round.

Round 2: Daley’s brushes back Shields with a head kick. Daley rushes forward landing some hard punches. Daley clinches and nails Shields with a knee, and drags him to the mat. Shields gets up. Daley gets in a nice left hook and Shields drops, trying to take it to the ground. Daley wants nothing to do with it. Shields pushes Daley against the cage and takes him down, getting mount again. Shields tries to set up an armbar again and fails. Daley isn’t doing anything on the ground except getting punched. Shields moves to side control, then mount again, and sets up the armbar once again. He gets it this time, and Daley taps, 3:47 of round 2.

Shields says he wouldn’t mind going to 185 and challenging for Robbie Lawler‘s belt.

The main event is next, which means the broadcast will only go about 15-20 minutes over, tops. Not bad, guys!

In the highlights from the Cyborg/Yoko fight, we see that Yoko took quite a beating en route to that decision loss. Would you expect anything less?

Kimbo: “I just try to shed blood on the situation.”

Oh, so Seth Petruzelli is a light-heavyweight now? Wonderful.

Kimbo Slice vs. Seth Petruzelli
Round 1: Kimbo comes in and gets cracked with a knee right away, then Seth mobs him with punches until the ref stops it!!! Seth Petruzelli SHOCKS THE WORLD! THE MOST INCREDIBLE VICTORY IN THE HISTORY OF MIXED MARTIAL ARTS, ACCORDING TO THE ANNOUNCER!!!

In the replay, I see that it was actually a punch that rocked Kimbo after a front kick. My bad. Kimbo got his lights turned out by a short punch. And so ends the great Kimbo Slice MMA experiment.

EliteXC is so fucked. This is the worst thing that could have possibly happened.

Who had Seth by TKO in 14 seconds? Because you just won a shirt.

Kimbo says it’s all good, and still thanks his sponsors. He shouts out his afterparty and leaves the building. “Kimbo Slice, who knows what’s next for him.”

Mauro says that Kimbo wasn’t in the proper state of mind when he was walking out to the cage, but this is really a “mulligan” for him, considering he wasn’t preparing for Seth. Gus Johnson is basically eulogizing Kimbo now. And that’s the broadcast.

Seriously. 14 seconds. Discuss.

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Anonymous- October 6, 2008 at 1:09 am
glza... clearly you know I don't want MMA to turn into WWE. I'm just saying that the monopoly is a bad thing. Comparing it to the NFL is not good either... the number of players in the NFL compared to MMA is not even comparible. Fact is... there are a lot more talented fighters who have not had a chance yet. The money isn't there to draw the worlds best in yet. With only one UFC than the person controls the pay, who gets the promotions and who gets the fights. Dana White is the Don King of MMA. If there are other companies offering more money or more importantly more options than it will give more fighters the chance to make a name. Sure I want to see the matchups too.... but didn't you pretty much name all of the heavyweights? To truly be fair the fighters should be able to fight for more than one company at a time instead of one exclusively.
UFC fan- October 5, 2008 at 10:28 pm
Hey walrus.....Nog fucking signed with the UFC and was glad to do it......wheres fedor?

oh thats rights in a failed ass ASSfliction...think YOUR shit out more moron!
walrus- October 5, 2008 at 7:17 pm
I always wonder if the Bens get drunk while they're watching these fights -- I don't mean that as an insult to their writing. I say that in the idea that nothing goes together as good as beer and watching MMA.

@ UFC Fan, what about Pride back then? You rep Nog but then discredit Fedor, who has been Nog's biggests task -- one that he has not been able to overcome? Think you're shit out a bit more, man.
Jeff- October 5, 2008 at 3:48 pm
"THE MOST INCREDIBLE VICTORY IN THE HISTORY OF MIXED MARTIAL ARTS!"

Couldn't have said it any better myself. October 4th should be a holiday in the MMA community now.

Miracles DO happen!
UFC fan- October 5, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Well I am firm believer that unless you fight in the UFC against UFC top caliber opponents you haven't fought anyone. So with that in mind, right now I guess I like people Like Diego Sanchez, and Rush St. Pierre, and Forrest griffin, and Nog (until he proves hes to old). I liked Chuck in his prime, I liked all the dominant fighters in UFC, not the ones from other company's, cause other company's is like watching the championship game of division II football looking so bad ass, and deep down knowing that about any division I team would whip their champs ass....its the same for MMA, to me.
Also I would add Anderson Silva, but I am still undecided, with the exception of throwing Hendo( who is out of his prime as well) at the spider, I haven't really seen him beat anyone of any talent except Franklin, but it seems he just has Franklins number, his style is so that Franklin looks bad, but I seriously have not seen to much from Anderson.

Again, back to fedor sure his records 28-1, but dont you see that stat has been padded with cans? I am not saying hes the only one....look at Silva as well, hes been feed cans as well in the last few, they feel just cause he goes up in weight and feed him a can that's hes just a monster. And with fedor, why would I put any kind of interest on a fighter who fight MAYBE once a year, and sometimes takes of for 3 years, screw that, hes to wishy washy for my taste, I like a fighter I can see fight at least twice a year.
Which brings me to champs of any weight, it seems once your champ we don't get to see you again till next year, I think that sucks, and as a fan I want to see the champs fight more, not friggin less.
the glza- October 5, 2008 at 2:26 am
his record is 28 - 1 and he spent 4 years in pride with top-notch competition: mirko in his prime, nog (who had 3 shots at him), randleman, babalu, arona, lindland... these guys are no joke. and he made tim look like a freakin little girl!

i'm not sure he's the best fighter in the world... at that level anyone can take anyone on any given night, but the guy has won every freakin time, with but one notable exception...

his business acumen aside, he does what he does and he does it well at the highest level in his chosen field.

now you -- which fighters excite you? 'cause if fedor doesn't impress you even a little bit, then maybe i'm missing out!
UFC fan- October 5, 2008 at 2:00 am
Oh I forgot to respond because of screaming moron.....but glza, I appreciated our debate on opinions of fighters, it was insightful and very adult and calm.
I liked your response to how I saw each fighter, I'm still not sure how a rational person as yourself can still extol Fedor. you have seen for yourself, and read time after time big business people saying how out of reality his decisions are and his lack of being able to rationally sign a contract. His crazy management has kept him out of so many good deals where you could see the match ups you as a fan would want to see. Cant you see yet that he may be a good fighter but hes been punched in the noggin one time to many, his business sense is that of a 4 year old, a 4 year old who thinks hes the greatest in the world.....yet has NOT proven it. I just want to know a rational reason from a rational human being as to why you keep pushing someone like this? I don't care about anyone elses reason, I just want to hear yours right now.
the glza- October 5, 2008 at 1:08 am
forrest lover must be brock's mom...

lol @ ufc fan
UFC fan- October 4, 2008 at 11:53 pm
screaming in all-caps does NOT make you look smart, it only makes you look stupid, and I refused to even read that shit because of it.
forrest lover- October 4, 2008 at 11:07 pm
PEOPLE PLEASE STOP PUTTING KIMBO SLICE IN THE SAME CATEGORY AS BROCK. BROCK ATLEAST BEAT SOMEONE IN HIS OWN WEIGHT CLASS AND DOMINATED HIM. AS FOR KIMBO HE LOST TO A 205 FIGHTER. BROCK WOULD ANNIHILATE ANY HEAVYWEIGHT IN ANYOTHER COMPANY. JUST WAIT AND SEE HE HAS BEEN DOING THIS SPORT FOR A LIL OVER A YEAR AND LOOK HOW WELL HE HAS DONE. HE BEAT HEATH HERRING WHO SHOULD OF BEAT NOG BUT DIDNT FINISH GIVE BROCK SOME PROPS PLEASE BUT THEN AGAIN HE WILL PROVE IT TO EVERYONE NOV.15!!!!
the glza- October 4, 2008 at 5:51 pm
i disagree, for the most part, ufc fan.

randy: still relevant but definitely at the tail end of his career, but still relevant
andrei: still relevant, still dangerous -- he had a couple of losses and some boring fights but washed up he certainly is not
brock: in the same boat as kimbo, but with much more potential -- he's still a baby in mma years. yes, he's a douchebag and a heel, but you can't deny his physical ability.
tim: yeah, i agree
brandon: agree
roy: agree
heath: a gatekeeper at best, but still a high level fighter
cheik: agree
mirko: yeah, i'm disappointed lately, but he's still a big name
kimbo: he might be lame, but he's still learning -- see cheik
fabricio: legit
mir: see randy
nog: also see randy
fedor: there is nothing you said about fedor that i agree with

the point, however, is not so much the individual fighters as much as the matchup potentials between them -- that's what makes an organization.
UFC fan- October 4, 2008 at 4:53 pm
hey GLZA: "just imagine — randy, andrei, brock, tim, brandon, roy, heath, cheick, mirko (fingers crossed), kimbo (for the novelty), fabricio, mir, nogueira, and… wait for it…

fedor."

Randy: washed up old man, who whines to much.
Andrei: washed up ex-champ,he left cause they didn't want him
Brock: NOT an MMA fighter.
Tim: another Ex-champ that UFC don't care about or need.
Brandon: legit
Roy: Legit
Heath: NOT an MMA fighter, hes a pathetic joke
Cheik: needs more training.
Mirko: ha what a joke, hes pathetic, no one wants him.
Kimbo: have you not witnessed enough evidence of his lameness?
Fabricio: legit
Mir: past his prime, he beat a nobody in lesner and now hes someone? please!
Nog: Legit, weird as hell but legit
Fedor: an absolute waste of time, he wont fight a real fighter, hes a scrub.
tree_choppa- October 4, 2008 at 2:29 pm
i think the most surprised one of all was seth himself.....after his celebration he looked kinda spooked to be in the ring with kimbo still and had a "i need to get the fuck outta here quick" look on his face. i give him props though for steppin in and gettin the job done when nobody probably thought he had chance in hell. seemed like kimbo couldn't have cared less about losing (and losing BAD), he was ready to party and maybe take a ride on the bangbus...

on a side note, HOW FUCKING ANNOYING IS TITO ORTIZ? how many times did he mention the words "free agent" during his little bullshit interview? if he was still relevant i think he would have been signed by now. i agree with the person above about tito fitting right into the EliteXC circus...
Anonymous- October 4, 2008 at 2:19 pm
robbie lawler is nooo joke. that kid can slug. shields has some good bjj and he did alright over what seemed to be a stronger apponent. but can he handle robbie lawler??? that would be a goood fight..
the glza- October 4, 2008 at 2:17 pm
and gonzaga too, in that HW division up there...
Angry Monkey- October 4, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Anybody else think Dana White might have paid Ken to get out of this fight?
the glza- October 4, 2008 at 2:10 pm
also, did anyone else laugh out loud when shields mentioned lawler? lawler would pound jake's face into jelly with minimal effort!
the glza- October 4, 2008 at 2:08 pm
the monopoly might be a good point point there, anonymous -- if we were in economics class. but it doesn't matter to me how many organizations there are in the sport. heck -- under that theory, the ufc could become like the nfl... wouldn't that be nice? i don't think the ufc will ever become the wwe -- the non-theatrical nature of the sport is what keeps it real.

i loved pride, and i'm happy that dream seems to be doing relatively well, but in reality the ufc is holding a good portion of all the best fighters right now -- i just want the matchups to happen. it would be nice to have the ufc share with elitexc (i like cages, affliction's rings were a mistake imo) but it's not gonna happen. like i said, i just want the matchups, and the ufc seems to be the only solution to that. dana's got to give up some money to the crazy russians if he wants to make major bank on a ridiculously stacked HW division. just imagine -- randy, andrei, brock, tim, brandon, roy, heath, cheick, mirko (fingers crossed), kimbo (for the novelty), fabricio, mir, nogueira, and... wait for it...

fedor.

all in the same hw division? c'mon -- who doesn't want to see that?
How pissed is Ken Shamrock now?- October 4, 2008 at 2:06 pm
I guess those Bas Rutten fight videos don't teach you how to avoid embarassment. Ba-dang, Ba-dang, Ba-dang....

I realize that Kimbo may not have known who Seth Petrowhatisit...is. But maybe his team of trainers have heard of him? Maybe the guy who was gonna fight Seth could've said a few words, pre-fight. Like, "Watch out for a little tiny pusssy asss punch when you drive him up against the cage. Seriously, It looks like he's scared shitless but really a deadly, carrer-ending punch will be 2 inches from your face."

Do you think that Tito is still 2 weeks away from signing.....
no more kimbo hype- October 4, 2008 at 1:56 pm
kimbo has no chin. and if he does have one, its made of the most delicate glass ever. people need to stop complaining about the shots to the back of the head. that wasnt the knock out punch. kimbo was already out when he got the love tap to the back of the head, it would have been a warning or a point deduction at the most if kimbo wasnt already done. seth is probably the best opponenet kimbo has face so far and look what happens.. although seth was wicked scared, he gave him that mean front kick and on shotted him in the mouth.. to bad intimidation and hype dosent win fights.

arlovski did what was expected... big country made me kinda sad. and ninja v benji was sloppy as hell. ninja is better than that..
Anonymous- October 4, 2008 at 1:35 pm
glza....
Dana White is a fag. He needs somebody to straighten him out. A true MMA fan doesn't want EXC or AFFLICTION or any others to go out of business... there is only so much room for stars in one spotlight... those organizations give other fighters a place to go and grow. Hopefully UFC won't always be the top dog and hopefully fighters will be able to fight out of more than one organization at a time like many boxers do. Otherwise.... MMA will be similar to WWE where one organization is a monopoly and controls not only what fighter gets the chances to fight... but also who gets the promotions. (not a WWE fan, just using it's managing practice for an example)
JM- October 4, 2008 at 1:27 pm
I'm happy I won, I've been catching shit all week for saying Kimbum will get knocked the fuck out in the 1st round.

I won 2 bets off 1 fight.
heneedsashirt- October 4, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Stephan' Boner Says:

October 4th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
ken could have taken that punch!

the sad thing is i honestly believe this comment where the fuck was kimbos head before this fight lmao! give him a shirt!!!
heneedsashirt- October 4, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Stephan' Boner Says:

October 4th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
ken could have taken that punch!

the sad thing is i honestly believe this comment where the fuck was kimbos head before this fight lmao!
the glza- October 4, 2008 at 12:38 pm
the punches "to the back of the head" were questionable, but arguably to the side of the head except the one hammerfist. none of them were very effective, as they barely moved kimbo's head (i think seth was as surprised as anyone) but homeboy was O-U-T out and without any idea where he was.

it looked to me like lacking a game plan, kimbo reverted back to rushing in and pressuring his opponent into making a mistake. it probably woulda worked with ken, come to think of it.

kimbo is not a high level fighter yet, but he's certainly not a bum. this fight does not ruin his career or prove anything besides his inexperience. it's good to lose every once in a while... he's got many fights left in him and he'll grow and learn with each one.

elitexc does lick balls, though. once they and affliction are effectively bankrupt, dana should come in and pick up kimbo, andrei, nelson, rogers, rothwell, silvia, barnett and the most prized fedor at bargain-basement prices and we can all see all our fav fights happen. also, they should make tito's life miserable by buying whatever organization he's talking to and offering him $1 per fight until he kisses dana's rich ass.
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