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Epic Fail: Nick Serra

(Images courtesy of Sherdog.)

I was holding off on posting about this because I thought a video would turn up by now, but it looks like the video-sharing sites aren’t on fire with undercard matches from EliteXC: Primetime, so here goes.

Posted above is the Sherdog Fight Finder record for Nick “The Mad Monkey” Serra, who completely shamed his family’s name on Saturday night. Sure, you see “DQ (Wouldn’t Get Up From Butt Scoot)” and you think, wow, that’s pretty embarrassing. Dude. Dude. You have no idea.

Matt Serra‘s less-successful brother faced off against Matt Makowski, who came into the fight with a 2-0 record. Nick entered the ring wearing a monkey mask, coming off like a broke-ass Jason Miller. (Makowski, for his part, made his ring-walk in spiked shoulder pads, Road Warriors-style.)

True to his nickname, Serra jumped on Makowski’s back after a brief opening exchange, but was slammed to the mat after transitioning to an armbar attempt. Despite throwing a solid upkick from the ground and getting to his feet, Makowski caught him with a couple of nasty uppercuts to close out the round.

Unfortunately, Serra hadn’t planned for round two. By two minutes into the second frame, he was truly, madly, deeply gassed, and his arms wobbled around at his sides. And then it happened. In a desperate attempt to get the fight to the ground, Serra weakly launched a Shinya Aoki-style flying guard-pull, missed Makowski completely, and landed directly on his back. As the crowd “ooh!’d in bemused shock, Serra sheepishly got to his feet. Makowski came in to engage, and Serra intentionally fell backwards onto the mat. Makowski threw his hands up and gave the ref a classic “WTF?” look. The ref ordered Serra to get up. The Mad Monkey refused, and the fight was called for Makowski.

And you know what? That wasn’t even the worst fight on the undercard.

The heavyweight contest between former Pittsburgh Steelers guard Carlton Haselrig and Carlos Moreno was hands-down the worst MMA match I’ve ever witnessed. Honestly, it made Slice/Thompson look like Torres/Maeda. Haselrig began the match with some pitifully slow and lumbering takedown attempts from about 12 feet away. Though a talented adversary would have made him pay for his lack of technique, Moreno eventually got caught and taken to the mat. On the ground, Haselrig punched Moreno directly up his ass then went for the most ghetto leg lock I’ve ever seen. The guy next to me described it as a “calf-cutter,” but I don’t think I’d dignify it with a name.

Bottom line, it wasn’t doing shit, and as Moreno struggled to get free, his shorts kept sliding down, eventually sliding all the way off his underwear (see image below). Eventually, Dan Miragliotta ordered the fighters to their feet, and helped Moreno get his shorts back up. Mercifully, the round ended. But Moreno, after doing absolutely nothing all round, was too gassed to answer the second bell. The announcer didn’t even bother to make the result official; Moreno just sucked air against the cage for a few minutes, and then everyone left. Looking back, it was clearly an omen of bad things to come.

Anyway, if you have video links or gifs to these fights, please let me know in the comments section because they’re on an absolutely must-see level of retardedness.

Cagepotato Comments

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Anonymous- June 2, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Yeah, but Jersey does suck. I mean it really sucks bad. New Jersey is the Nick Serra of American states.
Anonymous- June 2, 2008 at 6:20 am
it sucked because its elitexc not because of jersey you prick
What do you expect- June 2, 2008 at 5:55 am
Hmmm....could it be this sucked due to the epic fail of new jersey in general? Its not called "The Armpit of America" for nothing. The whole state is even more pathetic than New York. A bunch of wino toothless crackwhores with AIDS and a bunch of short guido wannabe gansta wiggers with the world's most irritating accent trying to host an MMA event. The whole Serra family should get rounded up and shot, ensuring their worthless subhuman DNA does not see even 1 more generation.
Drew- June 2, 2008 at 12:59 am
Being there (and I was looking for the damn shirt and screaming out "Ferg" when Kimbo came in, but no Ben in sight) it was embarrassing, yes, but also hilarious. It took place in Newark, but felt like Long Island. I am sure some of the sounds made when Serra fell to the ground could only be duplicated if all the bars in the Hamptons were forced to close at 10. "Shoul- dah Presh-ha!"
Than- June 1, 2008 at 11:57 pm
I tuned in right when Nick's fight was starting, I was really looking forward to it. I was just plain embarrassed for him and his family, it was terrible...until I saw the next fight. In fact, the only good fight was the Lawler/Smith fight, but the stoppage was ridiculous. Elite XC in general was an embarressment for the sport. My brother and I laughed th entire Kimbo fight while he was exposed. The Torres/Maeda fight and FAber/Pulver fight more than made up for Saturdays shitfest.
the king adrock- June 1, 2008 at 10:44 pm
Here's the link to the video of all of the undercard on ProElite:

You have to register, but the undercard is free. Fortunately the video allows you to skip ahead.

The Serra fight starts at 38 minutes, and his rear end finds the mat at 47:37, and the fight is called at 48:15. It's one of the worst showings I have ever seen.

That is until the next fight starts at the 56:47 mark. That fight is stopped at 1:03:08.

I'm sorry that I had to watch that.
demonianray- June 1, 2008 at 10:36 pm
The funny thing about Nick Serra's fight is that he did something worst than up plus embarrassing himself... so much for the Serra Pride he so much talked about during the UFC 83 countdown...definitely epic fail
Elk Snot- June 1, 2008 at 10:16 pm
If you go to and sign up for an account, you can watch the undercard for free. I hated doing it, and am now going to wash my soul, but at least you get to see the fights. And if you really want, you can customize your account and add your friends to your "Hitlist", whatever the fuck that is.
Seth K- June 1, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Add the CBS telecast on Saturday to the Epic Fail list. I did enjoy what I believe was Jim Nantz doing the V.O. work for the intro. After that, shit went downhill in a hurry. Brett Baroni grabbing his balls walking into the ring, the montage of the chick (an overweight) Carano pummeled using a grinder to show she had a "history of toughness" or something along those lines. She's about to get in an effing cage and fight someone on national television. Do we really need a montage showing her shaping sheet metal?

Kimbo is exciting to watch but if Elite XC is betting big on him, they're in trouble. He could barely stand up after the fight. The fact that he got 22 elbows to the head without a cut is impressive though. I would have thought that if the state of NJ was so concerned with fighter safety (stopping the Lawler fight was ridiculous) they wouldn't let a guy get into the cage with a pint of blood strapped to the side of his head.
I know nothing- June 1, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Nick Serra looks like he's starring in some sort of Italian, bestiality-themed gay-porn version of Shakespeare.
Asbel- June 1, 2008 at 8:42 pm
LOL! has k-1 dynamite been surpassed on the great scale of epic fails?
dy-no-mite3000- June 1, 2008 at 8:39 pm
tang soo do trader has em on their site, I let the t dl overnight I didn't get to peak the files yet but they are out there.
Anonymous- June 1, 2008 at 8:37 pm
they suck
St.Pierre, Silva, Penn deathmatch- June 1, 2008 at 8:16 pm
Common ppl, someone get on top of this.
I need to see!
TheFeniX- June 1, 2008 at 8:13 pm
Never would I have thought the term "Epic Fail" wouldn't be able to aptly describe a deplorable situation.