(Photo courtesy of MMAWeekly)
It was a long walk back to the dressing room after the fight. The doctor was there waiting on me, telling me I had to go to the hospital to get a CAT scan and stitches, letting me know they were giving me a medical suspension of 45 days. I was in no mood for that, and I know I was rude about it. I’ve known him for a while, but I don’t think I ever got his name. If he happens to read this, I would like to offer him my sincerest apology for my disrespectful behavior.
I was pissed off about the fight, f**king sad, f**king raging, on edge, all of it heavy with me, trying to maintain, trying not to explode. Camera men in my face, corner men, doctors, security, paramedics, friends, journalists, too many bodies crowding me, too many hands pulling me too many ways. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breathe, standing there afraid of the man that would come out if I lost control…
Losing sucks. It’s been pretty tough the last couple of days. I’ve been keeping to myself. I haven’t felt like talking with anyone. I haven’t seen anything about the fight. I know I looked really bad. I don’t need to see it, or hear about it to know that. I’ve been having some serious health problems for a while now. They’ve caused me some problems in my daily life and have seriously affected my training. I obviously haven’t been the same guy in the ring.
I’m going to be taking a little time off to see a doctor. If we can’t get this health issue figured out, I’m done, I’m retiring. I don’t want to step back into the Octagon unless I’m 100%, and I can give the fans the type of fight they deserve to see.
There’s only one thing that can bring a man like Evan Tanner out of a funk this deep: A cross-country motorcycle trip.
My gypsy blood has been stirring. My bike is waiting for me down in the garage, and I’m ready to go. I have traveled most of my adult life. The road has always called to me…
I had been planning a motorcycle ride after the fight for some time now. I had no particular destination in mind, no schedule, no itinerary, no plans other than to point the front wheel to edge of town and just go. That was until yesterday when I remembered I have a good friend up in Oregon who is a doctor. I’m confident he can help me get myself right. Oregon is now my eventual destination…
I’m scheduled to lead a ride in Minnesota, later in July. It looks like I might be on the road until then. I was thinking about it yesterday. I’m going to be bouncing around all over the country. Why not make a tour of it, and meet up with as many MMA fans as I can while I’m on the road? So if any fight fans in California want to meet up for lunch or something as I pass through California the next few days, drop me a comment here, and I’ll try to hook up. Maybe we could just make this ride into an MMA fan appreciation tour. I’m down with that. I wouldn’t mind doing some riding and meeting some good people.
So, California Tanner fans check in — the man is available for meet-ups at In-N-Out Burger. And it would be cool if you picked up the check.
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On one hand I feel his pain, and I can even sympathize.
On the other hand..........this Bullshit about trying to keep it together "so afraid of the man that would come out if I lost control…"
DUDE the time for that OTHER man was while you were fighting! Where was that bad motherfucker of whom you speak, and fear? you shoulda let him out in the octagon against you opponent, instead you fought like an old washed up bum!
NOW as an adult and a professional you need to except that shit, and don't talk like your some young creep badass with an inner boogey-man, it makes you sound ignorant, retarded, and fucking nuts! You don't go around threatening people who are NOT trained MMA fighters with that inner badman bs! Get a damn grip on your life.
Yeah you need a road trip, and yeah you need to see a doctor....maybe a fucking head-shrink!
With all that said.......... you have had a great career, maybe it hasnt went 100% your way, but you have had more than some will ever attain, so stop feeling sorry for yourself, take your money, go ride, go meet some fans who love you, but don't talk that creepy inner-demon shit to them just to scare em into buying you a fucking cheeseburger.
I'd love to meet you Tanner, but I wouldn't put up with your inner-child silliness, I would buy the cool adult MMA fighter I use to respect a burger...fries, abeer...a steak, whatever HE wants.
ZEN my friend, get into it...or get Prozac for your trip.
Much love to ya (even tough love!)