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Fact Check: Tito Ortiz May Have Exaggerated the Extent of His Injuries

Tito Ortiz UFC 106
(The beanie?  Tito says it’s to cover up his exposed brain matter. Photo courtesy of Fight Magazine.)

I was just sitting here working on a get well card for Tito Ortiz – you know, because of his cracked skull – and just as I was almost finished gluing the little tissue paper flowers onto the construction paper, I happened to see the list of medical suspensions handed down by the NSAC after UFC 106. The injured foot that Forrest Griffin mentioned in his post-fight interview? That’s on there. The smashed face that Luis Cane obviously suffered from a Little Nog left hand? That too, only it’s described as an “orbital fracture,” which is just the medical term for smashed face. But you know what’s not on there? Tito Ortiz’s cracked skull. Or his bulging discs. Or any injury worthy of a suspension.

Far be it from us to call Tito Ortiz a dirty, excuse-making liar, but it is hard to fathom how a) you could even pass your pre-fight medical exam with a cracked skull, and b) you could then get punched and kicked in that same cracked skull without warranting a medical suspension afterwards. We’re willing to consider the possibility that Ortiz has a mutant healing ability that somehow repaired the crack in his skull before doctors got a look at him, but that wouldn’t explain why he insists on talking about his many injuries every time he loses.

Unless…he’s afraid that if word gets out about his mutant healing ability he’ll be barred from competing in the UFC, or any MMA organization, forever.  His advantage would be so insurmountable that no one would ever want to fight him. 

So while he is not injured, he must allow the world to believe that he is, at least until we achieve a new age of acceptance for our mutant brethren such as Ortiz.  He must also lose a few fights now and then, just so people don’t get suspicious.  Yep, that can be the only rational explanation.  Because it’s either that, or Tito is just saying stuff.  And what are the odds of that being the case?

Cagepotato Comments

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Clinch-Smash- November 25, 2009 at 5:28 am
Great story and even better posts!
sxjohnson- November 24, 2009 at 8:09 pm
Seriously guys, I laughed out loud at this!!

P.S. Tito just posted on Twitter he'll be "back to training" tomorrow.... even with that "cracked skull" and "bulging disc"... the man is a freak of nature!

Flotsam- November 24, 2009 at 4:24 pm
I just spat Diet Coke through my nose. Thanks.
BobLoblaw- November 24, 2009 at 4:06 pm
I love it. I love the fact that I despise Tito as much as I do and that he is back in the UFC. I know, that seems contradictory, since why would I want to see a douche like that on tv all the time. But, I have recently come to realize that if there is any justice in the world, than Tito is back in the UFC for a reason: to shoot his mouth off, to trash talk everything and everyone, then get his ass handed to him on a regular basis by valid opponents.
Then, since he's such a douche and oblivious to reality as the rest of us understand it, he'll continue on with the litany of excuses at the post fight press conf.
So, more power to you, Tito. You're the only fighter in the UFC who will get his ass kicked just so he can go home to a wife with a solid 348,621 miles of dick on her. I mention this to highlight the fact that Tito is the only human male alive that thinks it's a status symbol to have Jenna Jameson as a wife. For God's sakes, Howard Stern assfucked her.
And P.S. - it's severe "punishment" for any loser to wear your brand. Might as well wear a sign that says "Please kick me in the balls."
vengful1- November 24, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Sounds like hes got a crack between his legs. Get it? Cuz he's got a vagina!
robthom- November 24, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Article title should just be made into a rubber stamp.
Fight Fan- November 24, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Thanks for the laughs, fellas.
LetMeStickItInYourRua- November 24, 2009 at 1:42 pm
I never pay for UFC shows. I go to local bars to see em. I think the last show I ever paid for was Lesnar v.s. Mir I. I wanna have a fight with Ortiz. See who really has the bigger head, literally, I wear a 7 3/4 fitted hat. What about you Teet's? Huh ? What size do you wear?

Oh and he shall forever be known as Teet's to me.
Flotsam- November 24, 2009 at 1:42 pm
I hate to say it, but I enjoy watching this guy fail as much as I enjoy watching the good guys win. I would like to think I have the strength to refuse to purchase any PPV that benefits Tito - but the truth is, I would pay for the chance to see him lose, or to hear him mouth-fuck himself at the microphone. I love to hate this guy.

By the way, every posting here is great. You folks are hilarious.

Plus, no one has come to Tito's defense. That brings me joy.
Videodrome_NOW- November 24, 2009 at 12:50 pm
It's really our fault for paying to see Ortiz as the main event. Shame on us. Never again will i ever pay for an event if Tito "puss wagon" Ortiz is even on the card. You hear me Dana??? NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And how the fuck did Koscheck impress Dana more than Amir?
Catalyst8487- November 24, 2009 at 12:06 pm
I laughed when Coleman was his first opponent but after watching that fight I think Coleman would've shocked some people.

Tito vs Stephen Bonnar?
TrouserSnout- November 24, 2009 at 11:39 am
Damn....guess a little of that was true...he is on the list, but not for any of that bullshit that came out of his mouth....

Tito Ortiz: Suspended until Dec. 22 and no contact until Dec. 13 for bruised ego and lack of intelligence.
Ed M- November 24, 2009 at 11:34 am
Right, as if something of this physical plane could crack that fat noggin of his.
MMAMoneyLine- November 24, 2009 at 11:14 am
If guys are really injured going into a fight, the truth is going to come out in the medical suspensions. It looks so much worse if you say you were injured after you lose than if your is reported by an unbiased source. I still don't know why the hell guys do what Ortiz did.
provrorsbarn- November 24, 2009 at 11:09 am
well he didnt move at all in the third round....and in my community we call that "lazy"
Ouch That hurts- November 24, 2009 at 11:06 am
Well of course the doctor cleared him, he went over to Tito and said "Let me tell you how you're feeling"
Flotsam- November 24, 2009 at 10:41 am
Hey Tito! Easter Island called. It wants its head back.
ktfo- November 24, 2009 at 10:35 am
Tito's skull is so thick due to all the generations of inbreeding. Everyone knows that.
Levi Jones- November 24, 2009 at 10:35 am
Tito's "I have a cracked skull" speech is to MMA what Tyson's "My back is broken" speech is to Boxing.
se7ensenses- November 24, 2009 at 10:27 am
Tito's a crack-head, indeed.
Titos Head- November 24, 2009 at 10:12 am
you cant crack that head
Dr.- November 24, 2009 at 10:12 am
Tito isn't a mutant. His head is another thing. But not in the healing way, more like the too-big-for-one's-body way.

All the beanies on his PA site are only available in XXL.
Vrax- November 24, 2009 at 10:09 am
Well played, Soda Popinski, I actually lol'd.
NateGetsIrate- November 24, 2009 at 10:08 am
The Huntington Beach "Bitch" Boy.
El Famous Burrito- November 24, 2009 at 10:05 am
Obviously, what happened was, the medical examiner took a look at Tito, then looked at Jenna Jameson, then looked at the thinness of his rubber gloves and said "You're fine. Get outta here."