Butterbean is lucky Rosenthal was not the ref here, I dont think he could have taken the Shane Carwinesk face smashing till the end of the first round.
But I do think Puds would have been gassed out by the 2:30 min mark of the first round.
Then Mr. Bean need only apply the side choke,………provided the Turtle could get off his back.
That was the most pathetic thing I’ve seen since I watched a drunk chick on crutches trying to play dance dance revolution…..sick, sad, and lame.

@Socal Tot: Because the producers would then be forced to take that show title literally and then it would be one really short fucking show.

He should be a resident on “Inside Brookhaven.” Google that shit if you haven’t seen the show on TLC or Discovery Health.

Why isn’t Butterbean a contestant on The Biggest Loser?

At least Mariusz finished him before he turned into “Super Grimace”, as he is wont to do.

Man Butters arm was there for the taking. An armbar never gets that easy…

Is anyone else reminded of the scene when Blade was shining the UV torch on Pearl?

If you watch closely enough, you can actually see Butterbean’s blood pressure tapping out about 6 seconds before he does.

Give Butter Bean a sailor’s hat and line the ring with model buildings and it would look like Puds was doing battle with the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man…

Mariusz at least was judicious with his strikes and trying to figure out how to take Jabba down. I would love to see him in a real fight with a real opponent. And let’s not forget that while he is a multiple World’s Strongest Man title holder, he’s also studied Kyokushin Karate.

Jabba on the other hand was so fat, he has a gravity well. How much soap could Tyler Durden get off of Eric Esch’s ass?

I want to play hide the Golabki with those skanky Polish ring girls.

I applaud the Pudz’s innovative use of large pink fleshy surfaces for advertising sponsorship. I’m looking forward to seeing him all done up as the Spam Nascar at his next “fight”.

@semi-trained

Yeah you’re right, I have yet to roll with someone whom is obese. Gotta step up my training!

Is Butterbean too fat to pull guard or does he just not bother learning?

“That guy sings like Mumbles talks”

BWAHAHHAHAHAHA! Give that man a shitty DVD ASAP. And poor Butterbean. Kid coulda been champ if he lost a few(hundred)pounds.

I am, for some reason, made vaguely uneasy by the last two lines, which involved, in close succession, the words ‘thin’, ‘golden’, and ‘stream’.

@ Fedor Penn:
The point of pulling guard for those of us without grotesquely bloated physiques is to put OTHER people in it. But in Butter-guard (call it), there is simply no room for anyone else once the thighs have enclosed one’s own bizarre and shamefully distended girth. And–not to go all technical on your ass, but it’s pretty clear from your question that you have little experience with, hence no understanding of, the grappling techniques of the morbidly obese. So go out and find someone clutching a bag of burgers and blood pressure pills and roll with him. You’re welcome.

@everyone else: only this thin but golden comment stream stood between me and a completeley mirth-less Monday. It was enough.

butterbean is like a turtle when hes on his back, it would be strenuous for him to get out of that position even without someone on top of him slapping his face silly

Reminds of karoake the other night. I totally thought I knew the words to “Running With The Devil”, but apparently there’s way more to that song than screaming like a rape victim.

To be able to pull guard, you at least have to be aware of your legs.

@ Motropolis – best comment so far!!!

Is Butterbean anyway qualified (medically) to be fighting? He looks like he wouldn’t survive a routine stress test given to recovering quad-bypass patients, not alone 5 minutes of intense MMA.

Sweet eight pound baby christ, CP comments are en fuego this monday morning.

Say what you will but that was still an impressive victory. I’ve never seen anyone beat that dude without punching him in the belly button and making his trunks fall down first.

@ Rex – that would be a fun video to watch!

@ dangadadang – That is actually a pretty simple equation since most of the heavy lifting on the physics side has already been done for us. As Butterbean approaches roughly 1.44 solar masses, he will exceed the Chandrasekhar Limit and will overcome the electron degenerecy pressure keeping his form stable. If he continues to absord enough surrounding mass to exceed 3 solar masses, then Butterbean will overcome the remaining neutron degeneracy pressure and fully implode into a singularity, likely with a surrounding black hole. So to answer your question as to exactly when this will happen, the best assumption would be sometime around a week from this Thursday, when Butterbean’s jaw heals enough for him to head to the buffet at his hometown Golden Corral.

and the Polish wonder why we make jokes about them being stupid.

I need to bleach my eyes after seeing that. When Butterbean hit the floor everyone in the first two rows bounced out of their seats.

The singer was still better than Rossane Barr’s version.

Even though American Idol has fights now I’m still not going to tune in.

I will comment on this video in the form of a riddle:

If tapping to strikes makes you a bitch,
And Butterbean has tapped to strikes 4 times in his career,
at what rate will he continue to gain weight until he implodes?

This guy is still better at singing the National anthem than Carl Lewis…

That was so bad… I’m at home by myself and even I’m embarrassed for just watching it.
I think Butterbean is still getting fatter.

This shit is a huge deal to a lot of Polish people. It has made the front page on pretty much all polish newspapers, so like 2 or 3.

If an american butchered another country’s national anthem like that, people would want to start a war.

hulk hogan at least body slamed king kong bundy

Butterbean is the opposite of a stick figure drawing. He looks like a geometric shape rather than a person. You can see it in the trapezoidal appearance of his neckhead in the video still, and in the oblique contours of his torso. I can draw a picture of Butterbean just using my keyboard: D

@Rex13
Wow, really? Didn’t know you were such a good ol’ All-American patriot. I think he will be punished enough by mass internet laughter slaughter.

I kind of liked his rendition, with the dramatic pause and all. No point doing a cover if you’re not going to make the song your own.

I used to get paid to sing in front of a lot of people… in those days if I had a new song to sing and I wasn’t confident I was going to remember all the words, I used a cheat sheet (I usually had 30-40 songs to remember in a night – typical bar band). Using a crutch is a lot less embarassing than doing what fucktard here did. I think if I only had one song to learn, I could learn it well enough to do it without a cheat sheet.

Props to Butterball for having a straight face during that “performance”. I was not imprezzed wit dat performance, and my face would have shown it.

No Butterbean’s promotion is Moosin, this one is KSW from Poland

Nice song translation. Good form Roger, good form.

Guys, this is an obvious work. I’m not saying that a properly motivated Butterbean could’ve beaten him in his current condition, but Esch was there to lose plain and simple

At least he knows he’s not the first guy to do it. I really don’t understand how this happens so often. You have one job, you know exactly what song you’re going to sing, and that’s all you have to do.. you know you’re going to be doing it live in front of a massive amount of people.. but you still get it wrong. I don’t get it.. you wouldn’t see an mma fighter show up to a fight without ever having learned how to fight on the gr- nevermind.. bad example.

That dude sings like James Toney talks.

So was this Bean’s promotion? Isn’t that kind of incentive for him to lose, so he can build up his “star” Pudz?

Fail of the century,I thought this was another Sonnen article, wocka wocka.

Fried Taco Says:

That wasn’t fair. I think Pudz should have had to wear a giant Sumo outfit, too!

^COTW Nominee^

***

i want to shoot Mateusz Krauwurst in the face with tear gas.

Wow. When Marius said he’d show him “how polish girls hit”, he meant it literally.

That wasn’t fair. I think Pudz should have had to wear a giant Sumo outfit, too!

Monkey Punch!

Slap fight!