(Letting James Toney wear four-ounce gloves? Sounds like contrapment to me. PicProps: SBNation)
We’re not sure if this meets the legal burden for proving premeditation, but boxing champion James Toney says he’s liable to kill (yes, literally kill) Randy Couture next month at UFC 118 if he hits him while wearing MMA gloves. Oh, and as for Couture’s takedown prowess? Lights Out’s not even sweating it.
“Everybody asks ‘How are you going to defend the takedown?’ I’m not worried about that. How are you going to defend these punches?” Toney told MMA Weekly in an interview published on Saturday. “I’m going from 10-ounce gloves to four-ounce gloves. If I hit someone with four-ounce gloves, oh my goodness, me and my crew might go to jail for homicide.”
Now, I’ve never been arrested for murder but I’ve watched my share of episodes of the First 48, so there’s one thing I know for sure: Do not say a word to the police, James. Not a fucking thing. Once they get you in the interrogation room, just ask for your lawyer and then shut the fuck up. Otherwise, these meddling cops will start putting words in your mouth. Start asking you, ‘Did Randy Couture have a gun?’ saying ‘We know you had a good reason, James, just tell us what happened,’ or they’ll get some lady detective to come in there and hold your hand and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. Next thing you know, you’re wearing a paper jumpsuit and riding in the back of a Crown Vic all the way to the death house.
But I digress. Remember those reports from a few months back that Toney had been training with King Mo Lawal and Dean Lister to get ready for the ground game? Seems like maybe Toney didn’t get the memo about that. He tells MMA Weekly that you’ll see the same old James Toney when he makes his debut in the Octagon. You know, the James Toney who’s tested positive for steroids twice since 2005 and can’t find a promoter who’ll pay him worthwhile money to show up for a boxing match, even though he officially holds two small-time heavyweight title belts? That’s the one.
“I haven’t changed a thing,” Toney says. “You’ll see. I’m here to prove a point, so people know that boxing is still running supreme over any discipline out there … I haven’t changed nothing. I only added a few things to my roster of offensive skills. You’ll see come Aug. 28.”
Toney – who asked for a fight with Brock Lesnar and turned down one with Kimbo Silce because it would’ve been like “kicking a little kid’s butt” — reiterated that he felt disrespected when Couture called him out. He also made reference to Couture saying he wanted to “break Toney’s leg.” If in fact Couture actually did say that (I don’t recall it and couldn’t find it online), Toney says it was the worst mistake he ever made.
“Now we can‘t be friends, you know what I‘m saying?” Toney says. “You disrespected me by saying something like that. Now all gloves are off. Anything goes. I hope he comes to fight (and doesn’t) try to hug me like a little girl like he usually does.”
One word, JT: Lawyer. That’s all you say. Lawyer.