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‘Fedor vs. Werdum’ Aftermath, Part Deux: Oh Yeah, Some Other Stuff Happened Too

("Pucker Up." PicProps: Strikeforce)

Cung Le won. Cyborg won. Josh Thomson won. Also, Frank Shamrock retired, which we were led to believe mattered in some way.

CagePotato’s inaugural “Holy Crap, We Take Back Everything We Said About You Yesterday” award has absolutely, unequivocally got to go to Jan Finney for taking a hellacious beating from 145-pound female champion Cris “Cyborg” Santos. Finney came up in weight and into the fight with a less-than-stellar professional record, but she took everything Cyborg had (and maybe then some) before finally succumbing to a belated second-round TKO. Let us say for the record that if Strikeforce fires Finney without giving her at least one more fight, there is no justice in this world. What’s the company planning to do with the winner of that upcoming Sarah Kaufman vs. Roxanne Modafferi bout, anyway?

On a personal note: Jan, it may not be politically correct or anatomically accurate for us to say this, but you are one tough son of a bitch.

In fact, not that it was necessarily her fault, but referee Kim Winslow let this fight go on waaaay longer than we were comfortable with watching it. At some indistinguishable point while Cyborg was battering Finney with an ungodly barrage of strikes – including one of the nastier knees you’ll see this side of Zoila Frausto vs. Rosi Sexton – things went from “Ok, well Finney’s not winning this” to “Alright, that will probably do” to “Dear God, Winslow, you gonna do anything about this?” Somewhere in there, Cyborg lost a point for pounding Finney on the back of the head but it didn’t matter, this one was never going anywhere near the scorecards.

When Cyborg finally did finish it after an additional 2:55 of fighting in round two, the feeling was more sweet, merciful relief than anything else. Also, not that we’re trying to tell them their business, but if we had been in Finney’s corner between rounds we might’ve gently tried to broach the subject of not answering the bell for the second. Just sayin’.

In another hard-hitting but far less ugly bout, Le avenged his only career loss by taking advantage of the holes presented by Scott Smith’s all-attack, all-the-time fighting style. Strategy-wise, what we want to know is, who in their right mind sat down with Smith, after considering the entirety of his previous MMA career, and said: “Scott, what I think we need here is a more aggressive, riskier, even more fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants game plan,”? Look, Smith is one of the most likable guys in all of MMA and it’s a joy to watch him compete, but for the sake of his career it might be time for him to start utilizing those JuCo wrestling and surprising submission skills we’re always hearing about.

The second installment of Le vs. Smith looked a lot like the first, except this time Le was able to muster the poise and cardio to finish Smith off after crumpling him with a spinning back kick in the second round. Afterward, Le got on the mic and talked at length about all the cookies and pizza he was going to eat now that the fight was over. Yep, just a 38-year-old man getting super excited about his milk and cookies, nothing weird about that.

In the televised card’s first bout, Josh Thomson slipped past Pat Healy via third-round submission. The fight itself was most notable for Frank Shamrock and Gus Johnson’s continued comments about how Healy wanted to “get dirty” on Thomson. Also because Shamrock inexplicably declared that he’d scored a first round clearly won by Thomson in favor of Healy and then a second round clearly won by Healy in favor of Thomson. Which leads us to this:

Frank Shamrock is retiring from MMA to become a fulltime broadcaster. I know, I know, there isn’t enough Kleenex in the world for the tears we’ll cry over this news. Because this is Strikeforce, Shammy’s retirement announcement was a long, drawn-out affair that involved one of his typically self-absorbed speeches while his immediate (and oddly unaffected-looking) family stood by his side in the cage.  It was, to say the least, weird and unnecessary but Strikeforce has so wholeheartedly fed the beast of his own self-image by continually referring to Shamrock as “The Legend” during its broadcasts that maybe it felt it had no choice but to make a big deal out of his otherwise totally underwhelming retirement announcement.

“At this point, I’m a better talker than a fighter,” Shamrock said later in the broadcast.

Wow, if true, that really is a scary thought.

Stikeforce ‘Fedor vs Werdum’ Complete results:
Televised Card:
Fabricio Werdum def. Fedor Emelianenko via submission (triangle choke, armbar), round 1
Cung Le def. Scott Smith via TKO, round 2
Cris Cyborg def. Jan Finney via TKO, round 2
Josh Thomson def. Pat Healy via submission (rear-naked choke), round 3

Preliminary card:
Chris Cope def. Ron Keslar via TKO
Bret Bergmark def. Vagner Rocha via unanimous decision
Yancy Medeiros def. Gareth Joseph via KO
Bobby Stack def. Derrick Burnsed via split decision

Cagepotato Comments

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Joe Bananas- June 28, 2010 at 8:34 am
I thought cyborg was going to have to choke cuddles out with her "anaconda" choke in order for the ref to stop the texas style execution.
Canadian Chronic- June 28, 2010 at 8:01 am
old news but I'll throw it out there,

Q: whats my girlfriend got in common with a slinkee?

A: they both look funny when u push em down the stairs.

fuck this site rocks!!
Under Banga- June 28, 2010 at 5:28 am
Strike force on pay tv Sun.[ Mon "encore"] ie $35 ppv in Oz WTF, watched it hour after finish on net fuggin nada .
Keep on rockin in the free woild.
bang bang
Randy Pan- June 28, 2010 at 1:11 am
This article made me laugh. Even though it seemed to offend a handful of readers, I found the derisive take on Shamrock's retirement speech to be hysterical. Another poster put it best, that Shamrock has ruined his reputation with most fans because of his inflated ego and awful broadcasting work. It's funny how Shamrock totally blows as a commentator, yet Jens Pulver, Frank Mir, Kenny Florian, Randy Couture, Pat Miletich are all stellar commentators. That being said, Tito v Frank was epic; Shamrock countered a bodylock take-down attempt using one leg. Pretty epic stuff.
Dick_Misanthropenis- June 28, 2010 at 12:59 am
One of my fondest fight memories is the first time I saw Frank scoop up Igor Zinoviev at UFC 16 and smash his brain into the mat, nearly paralyzing him in less than ten seconds. That was the baddest thing I saw for a long time. But you're right, the guy has worked hard to erase those fond memories I had of him.
ihateemo- June 27, 2010 at 11:40 pm
Frank Shamrock is a joke of a broadcaster, since all he does it talk about himself, rag on other fighters and generally try to sound more important than he really is. But back in the day, Frank was the MAN. I didn't watch his retirement speech but it's obvious that, the UFC being the UFC, there was zero footage in his montage from his pre-Zuffa UFC days where he was a certifiable badass.

This is a guy who basically beat Bas Rutten (someone we ALL agree is someone we wish was our dad when we were growing up, showing us how to hit the bullies with a leever shot) into retirement, fucked up Tito Ortiz long before Big Shammy tried to have a go, rocked the fuck out of Pancrase and was probably the first guy to put the "mixed" into "mixed martial arts".

It's just a shame that he's overshadowed all the great stuff he did in the past by behaving like a colossal prick long after he was overtaken in the sport. Sorry Frank, nobody but the most die-hard fan cares about your retirement and you only have yourself to blame.
fatbellyfrank- June 27, 2010 at 10:19 pm
Q: How do you make a Hormone?
A: Kick her in the cunt
dranokills- June 27, 2010 at 9:47 pm
ok now fine people of the spud-nation what ironimpactdojo was really trying to say was that bloody vagina was the place for him now that his homo erotic dreams of fedor are now nothing but stains on his sheets.
I would like to take this moment of time to say:
EAT A BAG OF DICKS ironimpactdojo.....and have a good night.

Isn't that sweet balllicker has stepped up to be the grown man we all never cared he could be? touches me right here.....SUCK MY COCK ball-licker..ha! have a nice time rising above it all, feel free to turn the other ass cheek so I can kick it as well. dumbass.

hey dicky boy I did have a joke for you, but all the good ones have been taken so you will have to deal with this one:
How do you get a witch pregnant?
you fuck her!
rite leg ospitahl- June 27, 2010 at 9:38 pm
u know im not one to agree with purple headed yogurt slinger, but i do have to say that "self ball kick" does seem to fit the situation and also has a nice ring to it. side note, all that self righteous mumbo jumbo then finished off with "bullshit" that's liek saying the blessing and then going, " now lets fucking eat" lol.
fatbellyfrank- June 27, 2010 at 9:02 pm
@ ag82, LOL, yeah that'd be one of them oxymoron thingys
ag82- June 27, 2010 at 8:15 pm
"Stay Classy DW" ??????? Yeah, DW surely knows how to put the "ass" in 'class'
fatbellyfrank- June 27, 2010 at 8:00 pm
Ah, Dicky missy peepee, once again bang on the button LOL
Dick_Misanthropenis- June 27, 2010 at 7:51 pm
Can we change your name to selfballkick?
fatbellyfrank- June 27, 2010 at 7:49 pm
^Thats the spirit, and you need to call more people faggots. It is what it is dude, smoke a bowl, chillax and enjoy the ride MOFO.


Ballkick- June 27, 2010 at 7:40 pm
Ad Hominem
It's more than just a writing style on this forum, would appear it is a way of life. I realized today I am just as guilty as anyone over the past week of this character flaw.

I love this site it has kept me informed on many fighters and promotions in MMA for years. But my poor judgement and disrespect to others is really not the type of man I strive to be.
I apologize to every member her for being foolish enough to get caught up in this infantile behavior.

That includes you Drano,.. sorry I was short sighted enough to think that your comments diminished me in some way. Or that my opinion of you, would somehow make you a better, or a caring person.
I hope you reach the same conclusion at some point in your life.
I am a bigger person than my posts over the past week demonstrated and intend on staying on a more positive path as I have up until recently.

To all others who had to read my juvenile statements on this forum, deepest and most sincere apologies.
I will stick to reading this site, and rise above this negative Bullshit.
Dick_Misanthropenis- June 27, 2010 at 7:12 pm
I'm sorry sir, your post has been rejected. You must submit at least one (1) tired weather beaten misogynistic joke for approval by committee before your post will be validated in this thread. Thank you, and have a nice day.
Cornerman- June 27, 2010 at 6:06 pm
Frank Shamrock retiring was a huge part of the end of an era you stupid fucking arrogant bastard. Just because you post articles on a website means nothing to the history of MMA. Franks fights meant volumes to the history and future of MMA. He didn't hold a press conference or announce it to the national media he just did it. Humbly and in front of his loyal home-town fans so quit being a complete douche nozzle with your failed attempt at apathy towards a relevant retirement.
fatbellyfrank- June 27, 2010 at 5:50 pm
@iron impact so fucken what, if we wanted curtain rods up our asses we'd already be on B.E.
fatbellyfrank- June 27, 2010 at 5:48 pm
Q: Why are wedding dresses white

A: To colour code with the other kitchen appliances
Dick_Misanthropenis- June 27, 2010 at 5:41 pm
Q: What's the difference between Cris Cyborg and a washing machine?

A: A washing machine won't follow you home and kick your ass after you drop your load off in it.
cecils_pupils- June 27, 2010 at 5:17 pm
Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

A: Nothing. She obviously didn't listen the first two times you told her.

Feminist Disclaimer: Believe it or not, my mom told me that one - she's got a great sense of humor, too!
ComaPlata- June 27, 2010 at 5:12 pm

What do you do when your wife sits on the couch next to you?

Take a few links out of the chain, the bitch is too far from the stove.
Dick_Misanthropenis- June 27, 2010 at 5:11 pm
How come Evangelista Santos doesn't own a watch?

There's a clock on the stove!

That should smooth things over with the feminists.
pinkyslayer- June 27, 2010 at 5:10 pm

How do you know when your wife is dead?

The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.
ComaPlata- June 27, 2010 at 5:06 pm

Cagepotato and Bloodyelbow are my two most visited sites on my computer and on my blackberry (thats for you rite leg). Cagepotato has the news with a bit of humor and Bloodyelbow is the serious site. Come on though Cagepotato is part of Break Media... you don't really expect them to be serious all the time do you? I don't comment on BE, you would prolly like it there, if your comment goes against their mod's opinions you get banned. Sounds to me like you would fit right into the flock of sheep.