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Fight of the Day: War Machine vs. Zach Light

(Props: snakerattle79)

As you might have heard, MMA fighter/frequent assault suspect War Machine (11-3) was back in action a couple weekends ago at BAMMA 3 in England, where he finished Zach Light (6-10) by first-round rear-naked choke; the video is above. Yes, Light has a losing record, so maybe it’s not the most impressive victory for War. Still, Light is a former two-time All American wrestler and works as a coach at Wolfslair — where he assists in the training of fighters like Quinton Jackson, Michael Bisping, and Cheick Kongo — so at least he’s a well-qualified pushover.

The match was particularly special for War Machine because it marked his first fight after giving up the porn biz and becoming a Christian. As he tweeted: "I had planned on doing what I ALWAYS use to make fun of…thank God after the fight on the mic but in the excitement of things I forgot! Makes me feel bad. So I’m gonna thank him now for protecting me both physically and mentally while both preparing and fighting." To which God tweeted back. "I had nothing to do with that, now leave me alone you psycho."

Cagepotato Comments

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goneinsixtyseconds- May 27, 2010 at 12:56 pm
Time to bring Mr. War Machine back to the octagon! He got more heart than 90% of the fighters in the ufc! Everyone who has seen the J-ROC fight knows what I'm talking about! Btw, of course u tap to an armbar, only redneck Tim Sylvia is to stupid not to, but u wont see WM tap to a choke! FORZA WAR MACHINE!!
Seoul Brother- May 27, 2010 at 6:24 am
Put Dick Wart Machine in the cage with Ron Jeremy.
ytrebil- May 27, 2010 at 6:09 am
Also, ref. War Machine's 'only pussies tap' comment, didn't he tap out to O'Donnell due to Armbar? :S
ytrebil- May 27, 2010 at 3:28 am
If Bisping and Rampage lose at the weekend, I think Wolfslair had better close its doors for good.
sevvi- May 27, 2010 at 2:54 am
say what you will but he snapped that RNC on pretty fast. ok the other dude might not have had the best defense in the world but still.
omunto- May 27, 2010 at 1:01 am
haha the guy calls him warhammer...

Next think you know there will be John "Dungeons and dragons" Smith and Frank "Axis & Allies" Roberts

yeah im a nerd too...
Elentius- May 26, 2010 at 10:44 pm
He is even bad for an amateur and that chick is fat... guess that's why he found God.
Mr_Misanthropy- May 26, 2010 at 7:10 pm
You rang?

*cautiously shifts banana hammock*
Seoul Brother- May 26, 2010 at 6:48 pm
So I guess we should be all good with Dick Wart Machine since he's found Jeebus? I don't care if he found Yoda. He's a fucking idiot. Where's a disgruntled terrorist with banana hammocks full of C-4 when you need one?
ThrashingMad- May 26, 2010 at 6:14 pm
What exactly does a wrestling coach for Wolf's Lair do? Sit down eating snacks all day?
wifey- May 26, 2010 at 6:14 pm
Wart Machine - now that's funny.

He's definitely not a terrible fighter though. I guess when you practice regularly in gay bars and on women, your skills get sharpened.

He serves as an example in everyday life these days. Whenever I have a crucial decision to make, I ask myself "WWWMD?" And then I do the exact fucking opposite.
peckawoodd- May 26, 2010 at 4:18 pm
War Hammer.

Thank you so much, British announcer guy.
Mr_Misanthropy- May 26, 2010 at 3:57 pm
Too bad they kicked him out of the porn industry when he tried to get his name legally changed to "Wart Machine".

I think the press release said something about his new name making it more difficult to sell product to tweens and teenagers...
nooger- May 26, 2010 at 3:54 pm
@Big Jumpin Dad

lol Thanks Boss, it was more of a general ask on feedback, I wasn't really looking for anything but since you provided it lol........

Lol never EVER thought i would look up a porn link for the dude.


Also, people are still caring/talking about this guy cause we are all waiting for the culmination of his final meltdown. Yes it sounds horrible, but it IS the truth.
PortlandMMA- May 26, 2010 at 3:44 pm
^ That is hilarious
HokeyPokeyLikeAoki- May 26, 2010 at 3:40 pm
You know what, kxp06001009000500020004001...

That's the problem...

Nobody ever cared :*(
kxp06001- May 26, 2010 at 3:12 pm
Why the FUCK are we still talkin about this d-bag?!?! No one cares about him, please stop.
tallkitchenbags- May 26, 2010 at 2:56 pm
To which god tweeted back "I don't exist, you stupid sack of dog turd. christ you're stupid. go get hit in the face some more, you dope"
Nealio- May 26, 2010 at 2:54 pm
War, god is only responsible for the porn, spitting, and assault on innocent bystanders. That win was all you brother...
Big Jumpin Dad- May 26, 2010 at 2:43 pm
@ nooger

Go to , in the search bar type in " Brittney Skye Nerd Sex ", there you go brother, enjoy
VisitingDeadAncestors- May 26, 2010 at 2:38 pm
hope this dude clears his mental slate and gets back to what he does best....

falling from greatness.
justscrappin- May 26, 2010 at 2:38 pm
I love people that go to extremes. First it's ...let's indulge our id and just do whatever is our most basic instinct. Today I will become a porn star and bang a bunch of coke-whores. Tomorrow...knock out a guy in a bar. RAWWWWWWWRRRRRR....I'm an alphamale. Then when that ends up being less then spiritually fulfilling...and I still hate myself...I will turn to God. No one ever thinks to do what's simple and boring. Be honest...don't try to hurt people or cause problems or pain to those that haven't done those things to you. Take care of your responsibilities and obligations...i.e. provide for your family or kids if you have any. Stop trying to be cool or popular..and just try to be someone that other people have not right to talk bad about. I'll get off my soapbox now.
BJJ Pennguin- May 26, 2010 at 2:25 pm
So this is where Kongo's ground game comes from. . .
PortlandMMA- May 26, 2010 at 2:13 pm
As much as it pains me to admit it, War Machine is actually a pretty damn good fighter. The only problem is he can't go long enough without getting arrested to get picked up by a big organization...well yeah there's way more problems than that too...lets just say that's the biggest problem. I still don't think the guy is as big of a douche as Rob Emerson.
mjmcnns- May 26, 2010 at 2:09 pm
Ah, so Zach Light is the name of the awkward guy from Wolfslair behind Kongo, Bisping, Rampage et al in their post-fight interviews wearing sleeveless sponsor shirts.