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Fight! Magazine Video Caption Contest: The Winners

No matter what Andrei Arlovski was writing down in that video, he’s probably better off taking some of your suggestions. Out of the hundreds of entries we slogged through, here are the top five, which all earn their authors subscriptions to Fight! Magazine:

Ted Nutmeg: Dear Diary,
Well, it happened again today. It seems like every time I turn around some guy is pounding a pussy that I went through two years ago.

Shagen: "Try to do something in the first 36 seconds."

CrushCo: i? F????! ??tt?? ??ty? soo?.

Lysol: "Tell Seth Petruzelli not to make plans on the 24th."


If your name has been called, please send your real names and addresses to and we’ll get those subscriptions hooked right up for ya. Good times! As for the rest of you, cheer up by gawking at the lovely ladies in Fight!’s Girl Search finals. That always makes us feel better.

Cagepotato Comments

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Sticker- December 12, 2008 at 2:23 pm
i'm callin' major bullsh!t. i'm not one to be blowin' myself and claiming i should have won because i'm sure there were some funnier than mine. But, DAMN, these were lame...again, i'm not hating on having not won, i was just looking forward to seeing some funny winners...not a single funny post among them. disappointing to say the least...step it up cp.
s- December 12, 2008 at 2:59 am
Shagen: "Try to do something in the first 36 seconds."

CrushCo: i? F????! ??tt?? ??ty? soo?.

Lysol: "Tell Seth Petruzelli not to make plans on the 24th."

Not funny.
www- December 11, 2008 at 11:17 pm
wow. CagePotato.... you're fucking brilliant aren't you? I don't even care about the fight mag, I probably would have whiped my ass with it anyways even if I did win. But Really, CP doesn't care because they just think everyone who is posting now is just people are pissed that their caption wasn't chosen so it has no effect. We could all post up and down all day about how poor of a job and how unfair this contest really was but they won't give two shits. You really let a lot of people down CP, it breaks my heart to think that someone out there thinks those top 5 are funny. It makes me laugh actually to think of how fat and useless the people are who wrote them not even expecting they would win. Cancer is more funny than your top 5 picks for fuck sakes....Do you look at yourself in the mirror and laugh? Are you the type of person who watches infomercials at 3 in the morning about knives and fucking juicers? Because you really degrate yourself by picking these and really take the piss out of the whole contest. Hang your head in shame like you just fucked a girl who you knew had aids and you still didn't bother to wear a rubber. When I see you in hell, I'm going to watch as the devil sticks his burning hot dick in your ass for making us all waste our time thinking of clever captions just so we get abused by your lack of humor. I rather beat off.
Good show CP, you fucking suck.
Anonymous- December 11, 2008 at 10:30 pm
hahahahahaa, i genuinely feel bad for u CrushCo..... but really, all the people that are sayin' "you shoulda chose mine," ya'll weren't funny either. CP chose the lesser of two evils.
CrushCo- December 11, 2008 at 7:27 pm
I felt great when I saw that I won....then I read your comments :( If you wanted to hurt me, you've succeeded.
walrus- December 11, 2008 at 5:32 pm
not to funny

but it's not like I posted anything funny -- I'll just shut up.
scott whitt- December 11, 2008 at 4:01 pm
CB, thanks for appreciating my Hustler remark. Mine aside, I think these are weak. I know there were a ton of posts but jeez. Don't you have a lowly intern that could have sifted through all of them and given you a top 10 or so?
The irish car bomb- December 11, 2008 at 3:00 pm
These winners were not funny, however props to ted nutmeg for winning his second straight
Stevia Addict- December 11, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Xian67? What the hell? "Don't get Zulu'd"? Not only is it not funny. The contest was for a note at the 00:51 mark during the Sylvia fight. If I wrote "Don't get 'Sylvia'd'" Would that have won? I would like someone to justify that being in the top five.
Goodfella85- December 11, 2008 at 11:56 am
Wack.... I may be out on line but this contest has rigged written all over it, those were the most corny, hackey lines i've ever heard I actually got douche chills reading the one Lysol wrote, Kenny Rice or Ron Kruck could have come up with better lines than those and they are the kings of bad MMA jokes.
Anonymous- December 11, 2008 at 11:51 am
My comment about him writing his will was way funnier than any of these.
Juan Blanco- December 11, 2008 at 10:56 am
Don't lobby for your own post. Its saddddddd.......
However, those do pretty much suck! Lay down the Taco's and pay attention CP...
Teila Tuli's Tooth- December 11, 2008 at 10:52 am
Yeah c'mon CP I even made reference to the "Dim Mak" and no honorable mention... WTF!
FuckCP- December 11, 2008 at 10:48 am
Shagen: "Try to do something in the first 36 seconds."

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.... THAT'S FUCKING BRUTAL IF YOU THINK THAT IS EVEN FUNNY... Honestly though you said becreative, that's just fucking stupid.
Im sure mine weren't as funny but come on there's way better picks than that. Fucking BRUTAL. If you laugh at these you're a fucking moron.
Fenix- December 11, 2008 at 10:37 am
:( There were definately some better ones on there. MINE!!!!

TeeReks- December 11, 2008 at 10:21 am
@ Keith Hackney

Dude?... What the fuck?
keith hackney- December 11, 2008 at 10:09 am
when royce gracie came to the octagon with that bullshit ju jitsu i thought he was gay wanting to lie down with me i mean what kind of 27 year old wants to go to disney land.i would have spent the winnings on dirty whores and tiger t shirts.if only i used the tiger claw instead of admiring how nice his gee smelt everyone would be teaching white tiger kempo instead of some toucy feely brazilian bend your arm soon as he fights without the gee he loses.whats wrong with smashed noses and crushed balls.then the crap about it helps the small man beat the big man as if they invented something special.some one should have told those primate brazilians about my white tiger kempo beat the biggest man ever to step foot in the octagon he was a big black man his name sounded like a damned porn movie he was 3 kimbos in one plus white tiger kempo helps bring rapists to justice did any of you divs see me smash joe sons testis in that fucking slope had it coming.those were the days you kids do nothing but talk i have stood toe 2 toe with gooc rapists and brazilians that wanna touch my balls.any questions kids
xian67- December 11, 2008 at 9:59 am
Yes i won!!!!!
CB- December 11, 2008 at 9:11 am
I liked the one that went something like...

Dear Husler,

Thank you for the videos, but this is the worst porn i've ever seen...

Easily a top 5 imo
CB- December 11, 2008 at 9:06 am
Congrats to the winners. After you read them each month send em to me instead of recycling them :)
Tbadora- December 11, 2008 at 8:58 am
Those all sucked. I saw way better ones there.
Anonymous- December 11, 2008 at 8:37 am
BOOOHOOO, I didn't get picked so I'm going to express my anger by commenting on how bad the picks are.
Geriatric Peon- December 11, 2008 at 8:36 am
Way to go Nutmeg, good stuff
Sodak- December 11, 2008 at 8:35 am
haha that first ones pretty good. the last two aren't bad either.
Anonymous- December 11, 2008 at 8:33 am
Weak CP, its as if u only went through the first 10 and picked your winners, i saw at least 50 comments that were funnier than those selected. You should be ashamed.