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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Final Reminder: Impact FC Airs Tonight on PPV


(A face made for pay-per-view. PicProps: Middle Easy.com)

As if you needed any reminder. For whatever reason – probably psychologically rooted in our inability to look away from the scene of a car crash – the MMA media has covered the shit out of Impact FC’s rapid fire debuts in Australia during the last couple of weeks. Last Friday’s show – in which Josh Barnett crushed some can named Geronimo Something-or-other — was just a subtle aperitif before tonight’s main course, which is available on pay-per-view for all to see, beginning at 10 p.m. EST/7 p.m. PST.

Look, we’re not going to beat around the bush here. Impact FC needs you to buy this card. For evidence, look no further than the promotion’s refusal this week to buy Bob Sapp a plane ticket from Bulgaria to Sydney because it allegedly couldn’t afford it. If true, that’s not the mark of a cash-rich business, people.


According to a press release from Impact, tonight’s broadcast will include bouts from both events – Barnett and Karo Parisyan will be featured — though the continuation of Ken Shamrock’s long, slow march toward his own demise will reportedly still be the main event, as he fights Pedro Rizzo. If that’s not a fight that screams to be viewed in high definition, then we don’t know what is.

Here’s a  rundown of the rest of the action, which promises the likelihood of craziness, if nothing else …

As far as we know, Paulo Filho is also still scheduled to appear, although you never can be too careful with these things. Reports from those on the scene allege that the former WEC middleweight champion bared all at the weigh-in this week, stepping on the scale totally nude (without the prerequisite protective towel barrier) in order to make 186-pounds to clear the way for his fight with the perennially overhyped Denis Kang.

Additionally, Paul Daley follows up his cheap-shotting of Josh Koscheck at UFC 113 with something of a gimmie fight against Daniel Acacio. The Chute Boxe fighter’s strengths should play right into Daley’s all-punching-all-the-time game plan, after all.

Brad Morris, who was initially scheduled to appear on last week’s Impact card, will step in for Sapp to face Soa Palelei in a heavyweight bout. Both guys are local products who have some fleeting UFC experience under their belts. Morris lost to Cain Velasquez and Jason Brilz in back-to-back appearances in the Octagon in 2008. Palelei lost to Eddie Sanchez at UFC 79.

Old school favorite Murilo Bustamante comes out of retirement to face “TUF” washout Jesse Taylor.  Taylor will have youth and athleticism on his side, but he’s a wrestler at heart and has shown in all but one of his professional losses that he’s not above getting submitted in the first round. The outcome of this one might well depend on the amount of rust on Bustamante.

Likewise, “Little-ass Ninja” Rua – as Mark Coleman likes to call him — has to be considered the favorite against another former aspiring “Ultimate Fighter” when he takes on Jeremy May. May picked up a win at something called “Ruckus Entertainment” in March, but the victory merely boosted his professional record above .500, at 7-6. Rua has won three straight since consecutive losses in EliteXC and Dream.

Word is you can pick up the Impact PPV for $29.95 from most providers. C’mon, at that price it’s like they’re paying you to watch.

Cagepotato Comments

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Ballkick- July 18, 2010 at 7:53 pm
that's funny!
you do have a sense of humor Turd Burglar.
Daddy_jeffy- July 18, 2010 at 5:20 pm
Sorry if that wasn't funny enough for you. I just can't get over your extremely detailed description of an episode of impotence. It seems to me that you are way too familiar with what that must be like. Tell your GF I am sorry for her. And by GF I mean your stacks of man sex porn.
Ballkick- July 18, 2010 at 5:00 pm
@Daddy_jeffy

If you look down the heat register in your living room you'll notice your sense of humour fell down in there. Hope you and it can get reacquainted now that you've been reunited.
Best of Luck
Ballkick.
Daddy_jeffy- July 18, 2010 at 12:44 pm
Not sure who Buck Angel is, but you seem to be familiar. Hope your GF is pleased that you showed her internet posts where you are offering everyone a chance to hollow her out.
Dick was limp after I wiped it off in her hair.
Late
Ballkick- July 18, 2010 at 10:33 am
Daddy_jeffy Says:

@ Ballkick
I already Banged your GF...meh.
How tastes my pee pee?

Meh!
Showed your post to GF,...she remembers you!
Your the guy who couldn't get a hard on till she mentioned gay porn, then supposedly you went limp after a few strokes and cried for 20 minutes.
She'll never forget you. Neither will all the friends she told. They still laugh about you to this day. She says thanks for the running joke.

BTW hows your Buck Angel collection coming?.....no pun intended.
BlueNose1690- July 18, 2010 at 5:02 am
@almostsouth You call that dropping someone ?? I call that loss of balance due to the leg catch. Daleys hook to the body in the 1st round , Now thats dropping someone. Daley toyed with Acacio up until he caught that kick , Then just bullied him into submission.
Daddy_jeffy- July 18, 2010 at 1:49 am
@ Ballkick
I already Banged your GF...meh.
How tastes my pee pee?
Dick_Gozenya- July 18, 2010 at 12:08 am
C'mon dog! Eat that vomit!

Fuck it- let's go get drunk and steal that Piggly-Wiggly sign.
eatthatvomitdog- July 17, 2010 at 10:23 pm
Saw the Daley fight, meh. Shamrock looked ripped, but ate leg kicks until he quivered to one knee and verbally tapped. Poor ol' guy. It was like watching an old dog get it's ass kicked.
Almost South- July 17, 2010 at 10:02 pm
i enjoyed it.... im also Australian/New Zealandese.

it was a fun card. Filho/Kang was a great fight. Seeing Asaciao drop Daley on his back was cool too.
Pedro- July 17, 2010 at 9:38 pm
It wasn't horrid... Ok it was horrid.
Perma- July 17, 2010 at 9:29 pm
shamrock verbal tapout due to leg kicks lol
Hostile- July 17, 2010 at 8:46 pm
Make Some Noiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise

I've lost count of have many times that's being said on that crappy "event".
mt59801- July 17, 2010 at 8:37 pm
Paulo Filho and Denis Kang draw ...wtf
Murilo “Ninja” Rua defeats Jeremy submission
Jesse Taylor defeats Murilo Bustamante submission/extreme case of "pussy-itis"

at this point I've totally lost interest , i was keeping up w/liveblogs for FP, but fuck it this isn't even worth my 5minute F5. I'm off to find ballkick's old lady
Rolls Royce Gracie- July 17, 2010 at 8:23 pm
Oh shit - the color guy is Elvis Sinosec. He's not too sharp.
Rolls Royce Gracie- July 17, 2010 at 8:14 pm
The announcers are horrible - they don't seem to have much MMA knowledge, and the banter is crap.
Dick_Gozenya- July 17, 2010 at 5:46 pm
@ Bawlkicks

Can I rub one out on your girlfriend?
Steve W- July 17, 2010 at 5:10 pm
Guess what Direct TV is airing tonight on the main PPV channel during prime time?

Here's a hint...it's NOT Impact FC.

It's actually a replay if UFC 116.

Which will probably do bigger buys. In fact, that would be a fun comparison. Which did better, Impact FC or the July 17 replay of UFC 116?
Ballkick- July 17, 2010 at 4:07 pm
It seems I need to be a lot more specific when I post here,...lol,....no you may not bang my GF....I don't like to share with others. TFF! Bang your own GF, or Rub one out by yourself,...and read the results of the card here tomorrow.
dumpsterfunk- July 17, 2010 at 4:07 pm
I enjoy the strikeforce fights but honestly there is little they can do to profit from a PPV event. At best they could match that of Affliction PPV events, and we all know where that went. Fedor vs Overreem is the best fight they have to offer. Then when Fedor loses that fight can we can finally quit hearing about him, strikeforce will fold and we won't have to watch Bush League MMA events just to see one man fight.
Perma- July 17, 2010 at 3:33 pm
Streamarific!!!
budsellers- July 17, 2010 at 3:00 pm
i dont have time to bang your girlfriend tonight ballkick. can i have a raincheck?
Dick_Gozenya- July 17, 2010 at 2:37 pm
That face makes me think they should be testing him for a bit more than steroids...
mt59801- July 17, 2010 at 2:25 pm
any time barnett fights his drug test outcome should be the tie breaker for FP
vyapaar- July 17, 2010 at 1:36 pm

Ballkick Says:
Sat, 07/17/2010 - 16:15

Resest assured,.....no one cares,...even if it was free I doubt I would watch. I will rent a movie and bang my GF instead.....I suggest you all do the same and read results here tomorrow.....If she's ok with that?

_________

I totally agree with Balkick, we all should bang his GF and read results here tomorrow. Thanks man....

this card is not all that bad...i would watch it though for the heck of it...paul filho vs kang should be a good one to watch
CagePotatoMMA