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Financing Now Being Accepted for CagePotato Productions’ First Feature Film

(The following is to be read in the voice of Don LaFontaine)

Two boys, whose lives took two very different paths…

One became a champion, adored by millions…

The other, a thief who’s never played by the rules…

But they’ll have to work together to stop a conspiracy that goes all the way to the top…

[Cut to montage soundtracked by pounding drums, with brief shots of car chases, sex scenes, and naked bathhouse knife-fights edited together faster and faster until it ends with the sound/image of a gunshot]

[Cut to shot of Aleksander Emelianenko, who holds a lit cigarette over a pool of gasoline, says "The devil never sleeps," then drops it]

Fedor Emelianenko and Aleksander Emelianenko star in…

Okay, so the script isn’t exactly written yet, but come on — this shit writes itself! If you want to make a solid R.O.I. investing in an action-packed guaranteed-hit with a built-in fanbase, give us a shout. We promise we can keep costs down. For starters, we know some actors who will probably work cheap…

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El Miedo- January 3, 2008 at 1:02 pm
That movie would be effing excellent.

I believe Aleksander became a Vor V Zakone after spending time in prison for armed robber.
Viccius- January 3, 2008 at 4:12 am
Why is Aleksander Emelianenko a thief?!?
Roger Erik Tinch- January 2, 2008 at 11:01 pm
Would love the chance to direct it. When do we start?
riley- January 2, 2008 at 8:46 pm
Don't forget the love scene with Van Damme.
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