(Props: MMA Fanhouse.)
I admit it, after watching the above promo video for season nine of Spike TV’s “The Ultimate Fighter,” I’m excited. Maybe the hokey “It’s U.S. Against Them” tagline is working on me, or maybe (probably) I’m just a sucker for The Sex Pistols.
Regardless, the part of me that wants to believe fighters when they blame positive steroid tests on totally legit nutritional supplements also wants to believe that TUF can be fun again. And who knows, maybe exploiting nationalistic loyalties and hilarious cultural differences (just wait until the first time a Brit fighter talks about smoking fags) is the perfect solution for the stale formatting and predictable antic-heavy presentation. With that in mind, here are the five things I’d like to see from “The Ultimate Fighter” this time around:
1. Don’t Make Me Feel Bad About Myself For Watching This
Look, Spike TV producers. I’m a male between the ages of 18-34, but that doesn’t mean I want to watch grown men drink one another’s urine. In fact, when I find myself watching a show that is ostensibly about fighting, and yet the bulk of the episode is dedicated to the ingestion of bodily fluids, I start to question some of the decisions I’ve made that have brought me to this point. It’s the same with property destruction. We’ve seen it. There isn’t any new ground to break (pun intended). Please, let’s grow up a little and move on.
2. Show Me Some Training Footage That Isn’t a Montage
Obviously we don’t want to see a show that is nothing but guys working out, but why not include some more specific training footage that shows us what these guys are learning and where they are in their development? Getting to learn from Dan Henderson or Michael Bisping is probably a great opportunity for these younger guys to pick up some new tricks. At least, I assume it is. I don’t know, because I never see the TUF fighters learning much. I also don’t get a good sense of who the practice room badasses are, and I’d like to. These guys know who belongs there and who is just barely getting by. Why not let us find out the same way they did? You can do this while also educating the fanbase about the finer points of MMA. Imagine that.
3. Find A Way To Include “Stankie,” Or A Reasonable Substitute
Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira’s boxing coach, Al “Stankie” Stankiewicz was criminally underused on the last season of TUF (why they chose not to air his sparring match with Efrain Escudero is anyone’s guess), but his brief bouts of brilliance proved that a crazy old coot of a trainer could really add some life to the show. I’m not even saying we need the original “Stankie,” though it would be awesome, but just someone to fill the “Stankie” role. You can’t tell me Bisping doesn’t know some insane old British boxer with an indecipherable accent he could bring in as a coach. Which leads me to…
4. Get the Coaches Involved More
I know that part of the aim of any TUF series is to hype the inevitable fight between the coaches down the line, but aside from the Ken Shamrock/Tito Ortiz feud (which sold itself, honestly) this hasn’t been done very well of late. We don’t necessarily need a personal rivalry, but it would be nice to get some time with the coaches outside of the gym. For instance, what do they do when they leave the training facility? If they don’t show up at the house, we’re left to assume that they’re cryogenically frozen until the next practice session. Use the show as a platform to help viewers get to know the coaches and they’ll end up giving a damn when it’s time for the fight.
5. Two Fights Per Episode, Whenever Possible
Last season things really picked up when we saw more than one fight per episode. Though this might screw with the pacing of the show somewhat, why not do that in the beginning, when the match-ups tend to be more one-sided and the fights often don’t go longer than a couple of minutes? A fight in the first thirty minutes also presents the opportunity to show the reactions in the winning and losing camps, which often get skipped over too quickly when the fight serves as the finale. Remember, above all else, this is a show about fighting, not about tainted fruit platters.
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Comments
Mon, 03/16/09 - 10:45
Less TRIBAL, and douche bag frat bros.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 10:47
I'm psyched that was great, the production values are getting better and better, that Primetime show was just the start of something good. That said, when will they get rid of that damn gladiator intro sequence!
Mon, 03/16/09 - 10:47
Bisbing says "two of the guys on there have potential to win the whole thing...." We'll I would fucking hope so, Mike.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 10:50
Agree with all five with the exception of #3. I am just sayin' funny is not a necessity.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 10:57
I totally agree with everything that one of the Bens just said.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 10:57
Bisbing says "two of the guys on there have potential to win the whole thing...." Translation "Even though they're brits they still got a chance" Also, I totally agree w/ this post. I've sooo lost interest in this that last few seasons. It's like watching the Real World at this point.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 10:59
Agreed. I'd like to see what actually makes them The Ultimate Fighter as opposed to Just Another Fighter. Seems that we only see how they endure living in the house and not how they progress technically through the new training they receive above and beyond their home training.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 11:00
I would love to hear what Hendo has to say, but who gives a shit about what Bisping has to say? "Oi, here is how I lost to Hamill but got a decision win because I am British. Here is how I beat a bunch of nobodies but get a title shot if I can beat an old Henderson, because I am British and UFC wants to expand in the UK. Here is how I beat a mediocre Chris Leben." Bisping is cool and all, but overrated.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 11:00
6. Less homo-erotism and more regular erotism. How about using this show as platform for the U.K's up and coming ring girls? Let's see what the talent pool in U.K really looks like. Then we could see what training they go through to get to the top. Spin class? jazzercise? yoga? I don't really care as long as there is ample footage of girls in tight clothing bending I'm totally cool with that. Of course this would take away from the consumption of bodily fluids, but who knows maybe in Britain there is Three Girls and One Cup...
Mon, 03/16/09 - 11:04
I agree wholeheartedly, I want to see more training. And much much less of the in house grab assing.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 11:09
Sounds to me like you want Season One back....I've been preaching that format since Season Two. And all I heard in return was a bunch of flaming on the boards about how I was crazy and Season One's format was junk.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 11:10
I'd like to see more guest trainers. Add this to #2 and you could have a holistic view of a fighter's progression. Background on these guys never really go past "Well he is a wrestler that needs to work on his striking" or "Phenomenal striker, but he is a turtle when it goes to the ground" and then they fight. Guest trainers always seem to be a good way of spicing up an episode. It's like watching an X-Men cartoon and they bring in some obscure character you never expected to show up. Overall, more fight related material and less Real World drama would make me watch more.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 11:14
Good stuff here, Ben...whichever one you are cuz you fuckers dont sign your work. lol!!! BUT...this show is for casuals! Not for hardcores. Thats why the finale is free! It's meant to get *new* fans into UFC/MMA. You think UFC wants to cater to us (the hardcores) or the casuals who will get hooked off a crazy funny show? TUF alone has made my friends who hated MMA start watching it and actually love it now. It's a process. I too wanna see more in depth about the fighters and MMA in general but they use the show way more as a hook for a someone who just wants to watch a crazy reality show. I hope Strikeforce does a reality show. Would be sweet on CBS! Frank Shamrock and Diaz would be insane as coaches. :)
Mon, 03/16/09 - 11:15
Don't let them watch TV and give them unlimited access to alcohol? I say fuck the idea of the 'house' altogether. Focusing on the training makes segments at the house to fill time obsolete. Do the program like you're actually trying to train serious fighters.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 11:20
I have a feeling that the UK fighters are going to beat the US fighters.... and that Hendo will knock Bisping the fuck out! Then we get a Hendo vs Anderson rematch were Hendo will proceed to get choked the fuck out by Anderson....again.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 11:23
I definitely agree with showing more non-montage training footage. More non-montage footage in general, in fact. Make it more of a day-by-day/week-by-week account, rather than obviously edited-together non-linear montages that tell us very little about what the guys are actually doing on an average day. Also, since they always talk about what an endurance trial being on this show in living in The House™ is, why not actually show some of that? Spend a bit of time on showing them struggling to keep it together (without spazzing out like a child), fighting boredom (without property destruction or bodily fluid ingestion), etc, so maybe the viewer will actually respect them instead of seeing them as a bunch of immature shitheads with near-zero alcohol tolerance.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 11:32
Totally agree. Cut out the "gay real world" bullshit and show us more training. Hell, there's training drills that have as much intensity as a fight, so let me watch it.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 11:35
I agree with all the changes, but would like to add one more. If the show is indeed about new fighters and not about what happens when you lock a bunch of people up without any access to the outside world, then let them have access to the computer, newspaper, mags but only in connection to fighting. Streamline fight vids, training vids, fighter magazines etc. I dont really see the reason why they're not allowed in the first place, other than to make people go crazy, do dumb shit then have Dana White come down on them for it. Is the show a vehicle for introducing new fans to the sport or giving new fighters a chance to increase thier skills and recognition?
Mon, 03/16/09 - 11:39
You have some excellent suggestions there Cagepotato. Unfortunatly NONE of them will be implemented.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 11:41
CANADA vs. BRAZIL
Mon, 03/16/09 - 11:48
I agree with your points, but 8 seasons of showing the ingestion of bodily fluids is not going to change. Unfourtantley, Dana and Spike's producers do not read posts like this (though this one offers some very valuable incite and the common opinion of many TUF viewers). Bottom line: Change it or lose your audience I too want to see more training and see how the kids look in practice.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 11:48
If it's not about tainted fruit platters, what about fruit platters on their taints?
Mon, 03/16/09 - 11:49
The Ultimate Father: My Dad vs. Your Dad
Mon, 03/16/09 - 11:51
Canada vs. Brazil would be awesome!
Mon, 03/16/09 - 11:55
I think that the US vs. UK is a start to an even better idea. A global TUF. TUF 10 is the time. All the talk about going global could happen with TUF 10. You could make it by teams according to nation or continent. North America, South America, Asia and Europe (sorry I doubt much luck will be found in Antarctica, Africa or Australia). -TUF 10 is to feature heavyweights and middleweights (also casting calls for lhw's). -This would give a chance to cast Satoshi Ishii and some others -- -Each of the 4 teams would have 8 fighters to total 32. You could either work the show with 32 fighters or have fighters fight to get in the house leaving each team with 4 fighters, 2 in each weight class. This would give coaches more chance to work with and focus on their fighters. The other issue will be coaches - I say keep with the inetrnation idea and use internation coaches. -for example say you use middleweight coaches you could have a way to clear up the logjam for the title and showcase new guys. N. America Coach: Marquardt S. America Coach: Wandy or Demian Maia Asian Coach: Okami or Akiyama Europe Coach: ??? That would create a 4 man tourney among coaches to compete for a title shot.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 11:58
My point above is that I would like to see Japanese fighters and Brazilian fighters. I wouldn't mind seeing some other guys too from nations not commonly represented in the UFC.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 12:06
It was pretty telling that they just wanted ratings last season after not kicking Junie off all 23 times he deserved it. I personally would rather see the good fighters develop. I can catch the juvenile shit on MTV if I want.... which I don't.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 12:08
>Canada vs. Brazil would be awesome! Are you on drugs and not the good kind? GSP and then who? Homo Cote? Goulet? Or the generic McDonald? Besides, this is REALITY FUCKING TV... its for Ozzy, Vanilla Ice and other has beens and assorted publicity seek retards. Show some D quality fighting along with D quality personalities, try to get them to kill time in between fights with anything to keep up the attention like bowling or farting and then hope that watching these twits will cause enough familiarity that people will say "THOSE are MMA stars" and then unleash the Chris Leben's of the world. Like the Idols' and other such show, you substitute shit for sugar and convince people taht its the real thing AND you get to keep the costs down if any of these make it further. "Ooooh, that guy won TUF15." Big fucking deal. Actually, it is a big deal because its on TV. It doenst matter if you give people Elite or TUF, if its on TV they will believe that those are the best at what they do. Clay Aiken or Tommy Speer, same thing.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 12:10
@ ashlee good fucking point
Mon, 03/16/09 - 12:11
6. New Theme Song If I hear "Bare witness to the fitness of the modern warrior" one more time i'm gonna personally take a piss in Dana's fruit platter.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 12:12
why are so many of you pretending not to be entertained by the hijinx and body fluids, its supposed to be fun, what do you all do when you watch?! sit there flexing your muscles and grunting the whole time? what a bunch of douchbag jocks.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 12:18
Canada Vs Brazil.....Brazil would crush them. Infact....who the fuck COULD beat Brazil?? that whole god damn race was born to fight. I think America could give them a run for their money...certainly after they whoop UK's limey asses.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 12:20
hahah that was fucking rad. I totally agree
Mon, 03/16/09 - 12:24
@ Ashlee Vance Could you please pull your panties out of your ass and keep your comments to a blog standard of 3 or 4 lines. I'm sure you had some great points but apparently you ran out of vagisil. If you could go ahead and do that, that would be great.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 12:43
Nategetsirate is gonna get a t-shirt. That shit is so funny and true - Always a great combo. The production value on that trailer is fantastic. They should use Anarchay in the UK for the opening. That song never gets old. More fighters need to use Punk Rock as their walk in music. Metal and Hip Hop gets old after a while.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 12:52
@ Jeffro The problem is that not many of them use good metal.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 01:08
no booze, don't give them 'courage' in a bottle .
Mon, 03/16/09 - 02:41
Could I get a price check on Vagisil? Looks like someone has a little extra cheese on their taco.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 02:52
After the last few seasons of TUF, I'm not wasting my time with it anymore. It was a good way to bring on new fans at first, but now it should just be shown on MTV after Real World.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 04:23
I agree with getting rid of the house. Forcing a bunch of guys to live together will usually lead to them getting on each others tits and then acting like twats. Maybe not even in that order. It's also true that it's designed to bring in people who watch reality TV. We don't need to be convinced to watch PPVs, we were always going to because we love this sport. Unfortunately, MMA does not appeal to the big brother/pop idol/celebrity pimp my crib on ice crowd, so we're stuck with this inbetween show where they focus on people being obnoxious but then thow in a fight each episode for people like us who just want to watch MMA, regardless of the organisation who's running it. But, as long as it's got the fights, I'll be watching and keeping the numbers up until something a little more pure comes along. And no, I'm not holding my breath for that.
Mon, 03/16/09 - 04:30
Just wait till my Mexican peeps finally ditch boxing and take up MMA. Mexico vs. Any country :)
Mon, 03/16/09 - 05:32
Mexico vs. Any country? Is there any Mexicans left in Mexico?
Mon, 03/16/09 - 05:37
It's going to be one long American lay and pray fest. My fellow countrymen may be able to knock shades out of the Americans when it comes to standing but unfortunately none of them will be able to land a solid hit after they've been taken to the mat (at which point most of the wrestlers will become confused and lay on them for the rest of the round and nothing else.) All the Brits can do is pray for quick stand ups and lapses in Amerian judgement and the joys of banging with someone who can has fought in K1 tournaments. On a final note, has the UFC worked out what group of MMA fighters their meant to be targeting? New, inexperienced up and comers or guys looking for a final chance to get on to the big screen? I'm really confused as most of the Brits look like rookies and most of the Americans are pretty experienced (only two have less than 9 fights!) Did they have to jump through the hoops because the UFC isn't interested in putting them on their cards based on the fighter's experience?
Mon, 03/16/09 - 09:28
"Mexico vs. Any country? Is there any Mexicans left in Mexico?" Learn your grammar, cracker! It's, *ARE there any Mexicans left in Mexico, and the answer is yes. You honkeys don't know what heart is and thats why you suck at sports. PS Nobody cares about hockey. lol
Mon, 03/16/09 - 10:24
They should really give Stanky his own show with a sort of Mr. Rogers feel to it. He walks into the gym, changes out of his sweatsuit and shoes into another possibly soiled sweatsuit and boxing shoes. He can teach us the important things in life, like how to empty a spit bucket. I see it taking place in a gym like Mickey's from the rocky flicks.
Tue, 03/17/09 - 12:38
You are right us 'honkeys' suck at sports thats why we stick to owning the teams and organizations.
Tue, 03/17/09 - 05:31
Sign those checks away buddy, then go slit your wrists. That's one thing crackers are the best at. Suicide.
Tue, 03/17/09 - 11:37
Don't let this deteriorate into a racial argument. We all know Mexico owned at the Olympics. Oh wait, they didn't. Shut the fuck up.
Thu, 04/02/09 - 03:19
Your right bud the states do suck! they are in for a rude awakening when they fight people with heart.
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