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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Five Things We Learned at UFC 117


(If there’s one thing that Junior hates, it’s the Safety Dance. Photo courtesy of MMAFighting.)

UFC 117 not only produced a dramatic night of fights, it also provided answers to a lot of burning questions. Here’s what we know, now that the dust has settled in Oakland. (Figuratively speaking. Obviously, there’s still a ton of dust floating around in Oakland.)

Junior Dos Santos Is Not Superhuman 
In round one, he did what we expected him to: beat Roy Nelson like a mulleted heavy-bag. But when Roy managed to survive the onslaught — massive props to Big Country, by the way — Dos Santos visibly slowed down and couldn’t inflict as much damage as he did in the opening frame. The fight didn’t bode well for JDS’s chances against the Lesnar/Velasquez winner. As we saw at UFC 116, Brock can take a brutal beating and come back for round 2 fresh as a daisy.

Matt Hughes Is Still a Threat
When Hughes suffered back-to-back losses to Georges St. Pierre (at UFC 79) and Thiago Alves (at UFC 85), it seemed that his days as a competitor were swirling down the drain. Hughes’s blanket-ish return performance against Matt Serra didn’t prove much, considering Serra’s injuries and ring rust, and his beatdown of Renzo Gracie in Abu Dhabi said more about the loser than the winner. But smashing Ricardo Almeida standing, then choking him out with a front headlock in the first round? That’s a huge feather in Hughes’s cap. This was not a "master’s division"-type fight; Almeida was a legitimate welterweight player, who was coming off his third consecutive win against Matt Brown at UFC 111. Hughes may be more interested in hunting than fighting at this point, but he’s a contender again. The question is: Which Gracie-associated fighter can he get next?


Jon Fitch Is the Most Predictable Fighter on the UFC’s Roster
Yeah, yeah, you can’t knock a guy for effectively executing a gameplan, but watching Jon Fitch fight is officially becoming a chore. He’s now the most decision-prone fighter in the UFC, and his fights are carbon-copies — he’ll grab you, establish a dominant position, and do everything but finish. (Repeat as necessary.) Before UFC 117, Dana White announced that the winner of Fitch/Alves would get a title shot. Now he’s not so sure. Can you blame him? It’s hard to convince fans to buy a pay-per-view when the odds of a thrilling fight are so slim.

Chael Sonnen Is a Filthy Liar — Except When it Came to This Fight
He said he’d come straight at Anderson Silva and make the champ fight. He did. He said he has dominated every fight in his career, even the ones he lost; a laughable statement that turned out to be eerily prescient. He said he’d take Silva down and punch a hole in his face. Well, there wasn’t an actual hole, but Chael Sonnen did pound Silva’s face like it had never been pounded before. Sonnen landed a whopping 289 strikes on Silva, which is 81 more than Silva had been hit with in his previous 11 UFC fights combined. Chael, we’ll never doubt you again. We’re even willing to believe that those remarks about Lance Armstrong really did come from a Hispanic imposter.

Chael Sonnen Will Never Be Able to Stop a Triangle Choke
…and because of that, he’s pretty much peaked as a mixed martial artist. He exposed Silva’s weakness in wrestling, while once again highlighting his own: Jiu-jitsu is a foreign language to him (and appears to be a lot harder to pick up than Portuguese Pig Latin). The fact that Sonnen was able to shut Silva out for 4.5 rounds is incredibly impressive, but whenever he’s on top of somebody with grappling skills, he’s working on borrowed time. And while he deserves a rematch against the champ at some point, it’s hard to imagine that the result will be any different.

(BG)

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ghostboner- August 11, 2010 at 12:13 am
@Almost Norff - I wanna talk about the old man strenth choke Matt Yoos laid down. That shit was amazing! And I hate Matt Yoos, but that shit was absolutely titties. Before that fight, if you had asked me what Hughes' chances were of winning by sub I would have said ZERO. Now, if asked the same question, I would say, uh, one. Even while he was applying the choke I said no way, he is wasting his time. Just some crazy shit. I'm glad you brought it up.
dranokills- August 10, 2010 at 6:39 am
mofo your a fag....suck a cock.
Mofo- August 9, 2010 at 10:06 pm
Drano. You're a child. Grow the fuck up.
mt59801- August 9, 2010 at 5:38 pm
It's not bro's rescuing bro's we've all had disagreements here and there, but this is different. This is one of those special moments where a bunch of strangers who've never met and having nothing in common except a love of fighting in common, join together and agree that you're an asshat. You even make the little red engine seem rational.

I'm not butthurt, silva won after watching the replay he clearly tapped. He tapped right after handing Mr Untouchable a 23 minute ass kicking. I'm content knowing that someone slapped the shit out of the once mighty spider for 23minutes, I was also happy watching carwin beat the piss out of lesnar for 5 minutes. Sure those guys got the check mark in the W column, but I doubt either one of them walked out of the octagon thinking "Yeah I just kicked that guys ass".

/troll feeding
fatbellyfrank- August 9, 2010 at 5:21 pm
Just as I predicted, acouple of days of kickin the shit out of each other, we should be back to bein smart asses tryin to be funny in approx 24 hours, hang in there dudes, we are so predictable, but I love it

Potato Nation Rules, MR and CD can write articles on my ass cheeks for all I care, there is only one MMA website worth visiting and thats CP muthafuckas

Potato heads of the world unite!
dranokills- August 9, 2010 at 4:54 pm
I'm so fucking cool I hit the button twice..........
Chael sonnen is cool, anderson is a fool.
yeah me.
yeah Rex,
boo to the BUTTHURT family.
dranokills- August 9, 2010 at 4:52 pm
First off:
mofo, haha I'm relevant, and your not, so there.
professor butthurt, heres that bag-o-dicks you ordered, please suck on them, and shut the fuck up, your opinion of Rex is so NOT welcome nor right you couldn't have come to a place more against you, and for Rex if you tried, but please do try, go to bloody vagina I'm sure they will love you more, while you are going take that human tampon MOFO with ya.
He thinks I'm negative, but the fact is I am so uber fucking cool and I have so many friends hes just... BUTT HURT!
I will continue to give new dad shit till he learns his place, just like you 2 need to learn your place....that would be as my rug, now HEEL bitches.
DARKHORSE06- August 9, 2010 at 3:38 pm
With regards to John Fitch (and his twin Dustin Hazlette); he is just straight trollin' for colon every time he fights. I dont think he even wants to fight, its kind of just foreplay for him. Like really boring foreplay. With a dude.
Almost North- August 9, 2010 at 3:36 pm
I stand by my early assessment that all of your wordy posts compare unfavorably with anal rape.
cecils_pupils- August 9, 2010 at 3:10 pm
Dammit! Which one of you guys left the door to the 5th dimension open again?
daniel.mtl- August 9, 2010 at 3:01 pm
how are people so dumb fixxxxed like no other wow that wasnt anderson trying lol

like for real how can people not see this may be they just dont trian or fight but still, no replays ??? and he let cheal sonnen punch him in the face like 6 times in a row with out doing shit

anderson NEVER FIGHTS LIKE THIS EVER

CP writers were prop told to shut the fuck up about it or be fried or someshit

wouldn't be surprised if Anderson die from something not to far in the future... ovs win is anderson over cheal, dana with his Fertitta brothers partners def lost tons and tons of money on this fight since they prob threatened him to throw the fight which he was doing the hole 4 2/3 of the fight and then easly puts him ina sub and wins

maby im crazy about ^ but he def wasnt fighting for real his tech was horrible which it never is, he let cheal sonnen take him down!
ProfessorMMA- August 9, 2010 at 2:43 pm
uh oh another "bro" to the rescue! try finding an original burn, not just recycling rex's unfunny childish jokes.

i cant imagine how people like you operate in real life. you see the red light and mash the gas i suppose, because if your level of understanding is anywhere even close to that of what it is here on the interwebs then i feel sorry for everyone around you.

as i said before i love cp, but CD is a butt hurt chael fan. plain and simple.
mt59801- August 9, 2010 at 2:18 pm
Sonnen should have employed the strategy of his opponent, win 3 then run like a bitch.

ProfessorMMA please stop typing and finish eating your bag of dicks.

"anyways arguing with you is like beating my head against a wall" please continue, I'm sure it will add some much needed insight to any of your future postings. If you think the quality is that bad stop reading it's that simple.
Dick_Gozenya- August 9, 2010 at 1:32 pm
@ Cagepotaters

That was a hot beef injection of tough love, by the way.
Dick_Gozenya- August 9, 2010 at 1:21 pm
@ FatBallsyFrank

I second that motion. If you can't get the job done inside of 289 strikes, you need to go train with Nick Diaz. At least he will teach you his secret technique of fucking people up with 1000 punches.

@ CagePotato Goons (why goons? it has a nice ring to it)

I hate you guys so much that I come here almost everyday. Now go crawl back-inside of that seafood-scented incandescent pink womb of journalistic integrity you call the honeycomb hideout and manufacture some more dribble. Inquiring minds need to know.

Lysol- August 9, 2010 at 1:06 pm
Jake Shields once called Jon Fitch boring. No one even blinked.
Viva Hate- August 9, 2010 at 12:04 pm
TRE, is that you? How is Lucas?
ProfessorMMA- August 9, 2010 at 12:03 pm
@rex
LOL i guess reading comprehension isn't your greatest strength either. i love CP, it even says that in my second post which you neglected to add to your criticism, but hey i guess you only see what you want to see.

i apologized to MR, but my comment still stands about CD, that's not backpeddling you retard, thats admitting i was wrong about who authored it, apologizing and then correcting myself about who was writing the shit articles that sound like they were done by Chael's corner man himself.

anyways arguing with you is like beating my head against a wall, as im sure all you'll get from this is that "i hate cp, and that MR diddled me as a child.." and about that bag of dicks, why am i not surprised that you know people that can supply them... im sure you've partaken in a few yourself

ps: @AlmostNorth: is your butt hurt and about all the butt hurt butt hurters in here being butt hurt about using the term butt hurt too much? :D
Robocop Didnt Tap- August 9, 2010 at 11:49 am
The Jon Fitch comment is spot on. I walked out of the room and made some food when his fight started because I knew I could come back in about 25 minutes and see his hand get raised for a decision victory. It's been over THREE YEARS since he finished a fight. In a way, I want to see him fight GSP again so Georges can cave his face in for 25 minutes.
Almost North- August 9, 2010 at 11:37 am
Besides the term "butt hurt" is offensive to anal rapists, who don't want to be associated with the disgusting antisocial behavior in this thread.
floppytall- August 9, 2010 at 11:31 am
I didn't get a goddamn pat on the back when i wiped my ass when I had two broken ribs. I just had sheer determination because I knew if i just let it dry up and become one giant Silva sized dingleberry it would make my butt hurt and I didn't want that. I just wanted one goddamn ribbon or at least an approving head nod.
Mofo- August 9, 2010 at 11:19 am
By the way, everyone please stop saying butt hurt. You sound like a 5 year old. And I hate feeling like I'm arguing with a 5 year old. It's like Kramer's karate class.
herb137- August 9, 2010 at 11:15 am
@Beatingu
Hell yeah thats the smartest thing ive heard about this big ordeal
ReX13- August 9, 2010 at 11:01 am
ProfessorMMA Says:

"nice to see a post from BG, since he tries to stay at least somewhat neutral in his reporting, not writing like a grade 7 child whose favorite team just lost the big game.

CD try reading this article for an example of what GOOD journalism looks like."

30 minutes later...

ProfessorMMA Says:

"if you bothered to learn to read you would see im not hating on cp."

How's the weather in your own reality? It's entertaining when Sonnen does it. With you, it just seems like backpeddling. Bitching out, even.

ProfessorMMA Says:

"i never claimed to be a pro journalist,"

No shit? 'Cause we totally thought you were.

ProfessorMMA Says:

"but i guess reading comprehension isn't your best subject."

Sick burn, Prof. I hope you can sleep at night dealing out punishment like that. What if you make someone cry over the internet?

No seriously, i know someone who can hook you up with the bag of dicks you need.

Love and brohugs,

RX






Viva Hate- August 9, 2010 at 10:46 am
Well professor that was not even aimed at you, that was a general response to all the hating that has been going on here for a couple of months. There have been numerous complaints about quality, including you, and yet none of you want to step up and do anything.

In closing, go fall in a puddle of AIDs, thank you.
CagePotatoMMA