(‘And that stuff about your mother? Man, I downloaded those jokes off the internet. I’ve never even seen a picture of your mom, but I’m sure she’s a really nice lady who totally doesn’t have sex for money. At least not, you know, in a direct exchange.’

In case you haven’t heard, Frank Mir got himself into hot water recently when he went slightly out of his mind and said that he would like to kill Brock Lesnar in the Octagon. That might not sound like a big deal at first, but the problem is that he didn’t say it in the ‘Dude, you’re totally dead’ kind of way that B.J. Penn did. He said it in the extremely detailed and very literal way, as in, “I want to break [Lesnar’s] neck in the ring. I want him to be the first person that dies to Octagon-related injuries."

Yeah, you can see why that might be a problem for the organization trying to get regulated as a legitimate, non-lethal sport. Today the UFC issued a statement on its website that included a quote from Dana White, who said he was “disappointed” with Mir’s comments, adding:

“He’s been talked to, he regrets what he said, and he won’t be saying anything like that again.”

Naturally, Mir himself also had to make nice:

“I would like to apologize to Brock Lesnar, his family, the UFC and the UFC fans for my stupid remarks,” said Mir. “I respect Brock, all the other fighters, and the sport of mixed martial arts. I’m sorry that I stepped out of line.”

On the apology sincerity-o-meter, this one rates somewhere ahead of Lesnar’s Bud Light apology after UFC 100 and just behind Jimmy Swaggart’s ‘I have sinned’ speech. It strikes one as the kind of thing you say mostly because your boss makes you and partly because you realize it was a bad PR move. It does not seem like the apology of a man who has stopped hating Brock Lesnar with a fiery passion, but what did you really expect?  All I know is that if Lesnar turns up dead in the bathtub next week, Mir had better have a really solid alibi.