MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Freak Show Alert: Sean “Big Sexy” McCorkle to Face Mariusz Pudzianowski at KSW 23 in June


(McCorkle’s most recent performance: A first round submission via kimura loss to Satoshi Ishii at IGF – Genome 24 via Youtube user Sohc Honda.)

Ladies and gentlemen of the Potato Nation, the creme de la creme of freak show MMA fights has just been booked. No, we’re not talking about Canseco vs. O’Neal or Zimmer vs. Martinez II (the latter of which is as elusive as the great white buffalo). We’re talking about McCorkle vs. Pudzianowski, the SHW showdown years in the making that has finally become a reality. Now, you might be asking yourself, “Danga, how is this the aforementioned pinnacle of freak show fights, you good for nothing piece of hyperbolic human garbage?” Well first ask yourself the three prerequisite questions necessary to determine any great freak show fight, you cold-hearted son of a bitch.

1. Does it feature a crossover MMA fighter who comes from a flamboyant, unknown, or completely fictitious background? Yes…yes it does.

2. Will at least one of the participants show up to the fight weighing no less than 300 pounds? You bet your fat ass!

3. How about the organization; is it shady bordering on incompetent? Brother, don’t even get me started.

While a quick gander over Pudzianowski’s MMA record would give the average MMA fan freak show withdrawal (looking at you, Christos Piliafas), a fight with McCorkle would represent a significant step up in competition for the former “World’s Strongest Man,” quite honestly. McCorkle may find himself on a three fight skid, including a first round submission loss to Satoshi Ishii — who seems to have taken a shining to outclassing UFC heavyweights in the twilights of their careers — in his last appearance, but he poses a hell of a bigger threat than Bob Sapp or Butterbean ever did. At least for the first two minutes.

And on the off chance you find yourself tuning into a KSW event for reasons other than morbid curiosity, you should know that KSW 23 will also feature the likes of Kendall Grove and Maciej Jewtuszko on the card, as well as a headlining middleweight fight between Mamed Khalidov and Melvin Manhoef. As in the case of McCorkle vs. Pudz, the probability that the main event ends inside the first round is higher than Josh Rosenthal.

KSW 23 goes down from the Ergo Arena in Gdansk, Poland on June 8th.

-J. Jones

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Frias- May 25, 2013 at 8:12 am
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Kimbo Lesnar- May 24, 2013 at 7:30 am
OMG, your grammar is terrible. You and your editor should be slapped. For example:
"...a hell of a bigger threat..." - Do you not see how awkward that is!?
"How about the organization, is it shady bordering on incompetent?" - These are two separate statements!
"...outclassing UFC heavyweights in the twilights of their careers..." - too much pluralization!
I know this probably sounds nit-picky to the grammatically challenged, but if you want to be a professional writer, this stuff is GLARINGLY bad writing, and the very heart of the reason people gripe about you, Danga.
algiersheadkick504- May 23, 2013 at 5:49 pm
I didn't know trt were holding their own events now great fight...
Ryan Meleedy- May 23, 2013 at 4:58 pm
Nick Diaz is kicking himself for not booking this fight sooner.
Pen Fifteen- May 23, 2013 at 4:48 pm
I heard round 1 is bench press for reps, round 2 is a pierogi eating contest, and round 3, if necessary, will be a pose-off.
Mr_Misanthropy- May 23, 2013 at 3:18 pm
Winner gets a pair of color coded underwear and a submarine with a screen door.
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