(Two words: Cultivating mass.)
Oh my God, you guys. We are just two days away from a match so epic that it threatens to implode our entire universe and send it spiraling down a black hole quicker than a Duane Ludwig knockout. And since most of us are still trying to financially recover from Christmas (only to spend nearly as much on New Year’s Eve, ironically), why not place some bets with us and end this sumbitch on a bang instead of a whimper? Check out the betting lines, courtesy of BestFightOdds, along with our Negrodamus-esque advice below.
Brock Lesnar (+110) vs. Alistair Overeem (-130)
Nate Diaz (+240) vs. Donald Cerrone (-280)
Jon Fitch (-230) vs. Johny Hendricks (+190)
Vladimir Matyushenko (+285) vs. Alexander Gustafsson (-345)
Nam Phan (-230) vs. Jimy Hettes (+190)
Preliminary card (Facebook)
Dong Hyun Kim (-360) vs. Sean Pierson (+300)
Jacob Volkmann (-260) vs. Efrain Escudero (+220)
Matt Riddle (-115) vs. Luis Ramos (-105)
Manvel Gamburyan (+200) vs. Diego Nunes (-240)
The Main Event: Let’s get real here for a second, Potato Nation. There is NOTHING that we can say to sway your views as to who will emerge victorious from this one. Because we are all the kind of “well informed,” hard nosed, tunnel vision-ridden fanatics of the sport that scoff at the drunken, frat boy ramblings we overhear when we inevitably watch the PPV at our local bar. That dude Rampage IS NO LONGER the champion, brah.
But aside from our own personal investments, there are enough outside factors in this fight to make anyone feel sick to their Jack Links stuffed stomachs. IF Lesnar can survive Overeem’s initial onslaught, and IF he can take him down, then this fight should be all Lesnar. IF Overeem can land on Lesnar early, then he should by all means be able to finish him. But the biggest factor heading into this one is simple: cardio. People are claiming that Alistair has none and that Lesnar has tons, but we weren’t completely convinced in Lesnar’s defeat to Cain Velasquez that his cardio was where it needs to be, perhaps as a result of his many surgeries. But since neutrality is for the weak, we’re going to say Overeem. Just accept it.
The Good Dogs: After giving the list a quick once over, its apparent that Diaz is a pretty good buy at +240. His submissions are outstanding, and his striking has looked just as good as of late. But Cerrone is on a hell of a roll, knocking off legit contenders in Dennis Siver and Charles Oliveira without batting an eye. His striking has been nothing short of perfect, and he’s been consistently submitting fools in his spare time. The question comes down to whether or not you think Diaz will be able to get Cerrone to the floor, and what he’ll be able to do from there. Our guess is he wont.
But if you’re not too confident in Diaz’s abilities, or just think he is kind of a doucher, then there are plenty of other great underdog picks, starting with Anthony Njokuani. It’s nothing short of baffling that he is listed as an underdog to Danny Castillo, who is coming off a rather meh TKO victory of an overweight Shamar Bailey. Also, Jimy Hettes showcased a ridiculously quick submission game in his debut win over Alex Caceres, and will most certainly bring the fight to Nam Phan. Then again, Phan has yet to be submitted in 26 fights, so it’s a long shot.
Stay the Hell Away From: The Fitch/Hendricks fight. We don’t mean in terms of placing your bet, because Fitch should be a lock, but rather in terms of watching the fight itself. Do you really want to spend 15 minutes watching this sure-to-be snoozer when you could be hearing Jim from Accounting’s awesome ice fishing story? Exactly.
Official CagePotato Parlay: Now, you could go with the $8.18 parlay that would literally make you a millionaire, but we’re going to squash that pipe dream right here and now with a parlay that goes a little something like this:
Overeem + Cerrone + Fitch + Njokuani + Volkmann
Since it’s the year-ender, we’ll be throwing down a Benjamin on this one, which will net any brave followers $1116.37. And when we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards…checkmate.