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Gambling Addiction Enabler: UFC 145 Edition

(Don’t worry, we put more effort into this piece than the UFC marketing department did into that poster.) 

Rumor has it that on Saturday night, two certain somebodies may or may not partake in a certain fight that you may or may not be able to place a certain wager on, which may or may not be dependent on whether you think or don’t think you know a certain outcome of the fight itself, capiche? In either case, we are going to offer some advice that may or may not help you arrive at that determination. Check out what could hypothetically be the betting lines for UFC 145, courtesy of BestFightOdds, below, and join us afterward for what may or may not be our advice on where to place a certain bet that may or may not exist.

Jon Jones (-485) vs. Rashad Evans (+385)
Rory MacDonald (-600) vs. Che Mills (+450)
Ben Rothwell (+240) vs. Brendan Schaub (-280)
Mark Hominick (-600) vs. Eddie Yagin (+450)
Mark Bocek (-400) vs. John Alessio (+325)
Michael McDonald (even) vs. Miguel Torres (-120)

Travis Browne (-260) vs. Chad Griggs (+220)
Matt Brown (+250) vs. Stephen Thompson (-300)
John Makdessi (+175) vs. Anthony Njokuani (-210)
Mac Danzig (-210) vs. Efrain Escudero (+175)
Chris Clements (-200) vs. Keith Wisniewski (+170)
Maximo Blanco (-265) vs. Marcus Brimage (+225)


The Main Event: Listen, we all know that Jon Jones will likely beat Rashad Evans; he is younger, more athletic, and has absolutely crushed everyone in his path, including the man who nearly turned Evans into a member of the walking dead. But whenever a former champ who is arguably still in his prime is listed as that big of an underdog, especially one with as much power and experience as Evans, you’d be a fool not to place a bet on him. Save Jones for the parlay, and place a decent side wager on Evans; it’s as simple as that.

The Good Dogs: The Michael Mcdonald/Miguel Torres odds are really too close to waste your time on, and we hate to count Che Mills out, but given Rory MacDonald‘s run thus far in the UFC, we’d say he’s pretty close to mincemeat in this one. That brings us to Rothwell/Schaub. Here’s what we know:

1. Ben Rothwell CAN knock a motherfucker out, even if we haven’t see him do so in quite some time.
2. Brendan Schaub is very susceptible to the KO

Now, you might call us crazy to even consider betting on “Big Ben” given his run as of late, and you have every right to. If this fight goes past the first round, Schaub will more than likely take it, but if Rothwell presses the action early, you could be looking at an easy score. Let the public backlash begin.

The other dogs worth your consideration are Matt Brown, Efrain Escudero, and Chad Griggs. Brown’s got the experience edge (UFC-wise, at least) over Thompson, who’s only opponent in UFC competition was basically a sheep being led to the slaughter. Mac Danzig has been a mixed bag ever since winning the TUF 6 plaque, and if Escudero chooses to mix up his strikes with a few takedowns, he could very easily coast his way to a UD victory. Next to Evans, Escudero is your best bet as far as underdog picks go. As for Griggs…well, the dude throws some serious heat, and can take it just as well as he can dish it out. He’s facing a tough test in Browne, but if you’re feeling lucky, a small bet on him wouldn’t be too foolish.

Stay the Hell Away From: Maximo Blanco. It’s odd enough that the UFC signed him following a loss (who does he think he is, Phil Baroni?), and we’re not going to risk him ruining our parlay until he gets at least one UFC bout under his belt. Also, John Alessio. His line may look tempting at +325 considering his experience, but the dude has a track record of buckling under the bright lights. The fact that he’s stepping in as a late replacement against someone whose strengths play right into his weaknesses should be further proof to just steer clear of him.

Official CagePotato Parlay: Jones + Bocek + Clements + Njokuani

Suggested wager for a $50 wager
-$20 on the parlay
-$10 on Evans
-$10 on Escudero
-$5 on Rothwell
-$5 on Brown

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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zamoracarl711- April 23, 2012 at 4:58 am
what Peter implied I'm blown away that some one able to get paid $8171 in 4 weeks on the computer. did you look at this website
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Cestus84- April 20, 2012 at 9:57 am
Is it just me or does Evans look like a white man w/ a black painted face and white lips from those old school racist anti black movies?
ghostboner- April 20, 2012 at 12:06 am
Watch yourself potato, captions like that will get you sued for slander! I love Griggs too so I'm pulling for him to rock that body. (no homo, or at least less than 50%) Last time the UFC sucked a fighters dick as hard as they're sucking Jon Joneses it was Cain. And then Junior stanky legged him. So I'm hoping that curse continues on Saturday.
Daoulas- April 19, 2012 at 9:17 pm
that font is racist
jizzninja- April 20, 2012 at 1:10 am
tru dat, something about it screams ethnic
Romanhelmut- April 19, 2012 at 6:31 pm
Spaceman.... what does "begat" mean?
J. Spaceman- April 19, 2012 at 8:19 pm
Short answer: caused. Basically what I'm saying is, I may be a stupid MMA fan but I'm throwing some cash down on Griggs.
towelie- April 19, 2012 at 3:58 pm

@DanaWhite Here is @CagePotatoMMA's retraction. We cool?

Dana White
@TheJasonMoles Ya, we're good, but Lorenzo is being a whiny cunt about it still. Fucking guy didn't even read the caption. apparently a high flow day.
The12ozCurls- April 19, 2012 at 3:32 pm
JJ - you should have set the
"Suggested wager for" at $500,000
DangadaDang- April 19, 2012 at 5:22 pm
You don't even wanna know how long it took me to decide against doing that very thing.
The12ozCurls- April 19, 2012 at 6:21 pm
I can actually see you there - sweat dripping off your brow into a nice cup of Earl Grey. Ringing your hands feverishly with a constipated grimace on your face. Angel on one shoulder telling you not to rock the boat. Devil on the other shoulder telling you to hurry up with the article so you can go for another round of auto-erotic asphyxiation. I am sure it was pure hell. lol
TwoFistedFlavah- April 19, 2012 at 2:49 pm
I agree with J. Spaceman, its ridiculous that Griggs is an underdog in that fight. I predict he'll knock out Browne in the first or second round.
J. Spaceman- April 19, 2012 at 2:46 pm
Oh, and I completely agree with all your assessments and your picks. Which means, you done fucked up son!
Shepard- April 19, 2012 at 2:45 pm
Lol, Dana white put his dick in Cage Potato's ass.
J. Spaceman- April 19, 2012 at 2:43 pm
In all my years as an MMA fan there are two things that I’ve learned:
1. Never underestimate the stupidity of MMA fans.
2. Never bet against Chad Griggs.
Now, I don’t know if #1 begat #2. But, what I do know is, WAR Griggs!