(Bisping challenges another poor bloke to high-stakes Rock, Paper, Scissors.)

As our collective faith in the health of the economy deteriorates, the online gambling market is looking better and better. The more I think about it, the more I’m surprised it didn’t come up in last night’s debates. But once again neither candidate speaks to my issues. Looks like this is one more election year where I’ll end up scrawling “Wanderlei” in crayon across my ballot and then handing it to the overweight woman at the desk, who will inevitably respond by insisting that “this is not a polling place.” Goddamn bureaucracy.

Anyway, if you’re like me and are ready to bet your foreclosed home on UFC 89 this Saturday, here are the sweetest lines around, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com. If you don’t understand how betting odds work, read this. If you still don’t get it, stop sniffing glue.

Chris Leben (+191) vs. Michael Bisping (-211)
Luiz Cane (+104) vs. Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou (-114)
Dan Hardy (+285) vs. Akihiro Gono (-308)
Neil Wann (+600) vs. Shane Carwin (-675)
Keith Jardine (+155) vs. Brandon Vera (-165)
Jess Liaudin (+141) vs. David Bielkheden (-135)
Marcus Davis (+230) vs. Paul Kelly (+285)
Paul Taylor (+300) vs. Chris Lytle (-328)
Samy Schiavo (+166) vs. Per Eklund (-180)
Terry Etim (+275) vs. Sam Stout (-291)
David Baron (+155) vs. Jim Miller (-172)

Thoughts…

WTF!?: Wait a minute, how can the lines on the Davis/Kelly fight put both men at better than 2-1 underdogs? Isn’t some offshore betting website assuring itself of losing money here? Well, yes and no. Because BestFightOdds is good enough to compile the odds from several different sources, we occasionally get a glimpse of the wildly different perspectives among bookies. Basically, every oddsmaker except Sportbet sees Davis as somewhere in the neighborhood of a 3-1 favorite. But Sportbet has Kelly as the heavy favorite. Could it be that they know something most don’t? Or are they just retards hellbent on losing money? Guess we’ll find out Saturday.

I can’t believe it’s so close!: Not saying Luiz Cane is a punk — far from it — but I’m a little surprised that Sokoudjou isn’t a heavier favorite in this one. The more seasoning and training he gets, the scarier he becomes. Cane is a dangerous fellow himself but as we all know, “The African Assassin” is intent on getting that paper.

Big money underdog of the night: Naturally, the guys who are only slight underdogs — Leben, Jardine, Cane, et al — have legitimate shots at victory. But if you’re the type who isn’t happy unless he’s betting on a long shot, Dan Hardy is your man. Gono is a tough opponent for anyone (even if he seems more interested in his entrance than his fight), but Hardy is no slouch either. He’s fighting in his home country, hailing from what I thought was the fictional town of Nottingham, and he just might surprise some people.

Not even close: Depending on the oddsmaker, Shane Carwin will either murder Neil Wann or perhaps merely cripple him. -675 is the best you’ll find on Carwin. Other oddsmakers have him at -700, and one even puts him at -1100. There are instances of child abuse where the odds are closer than that. I would now like to apologize for the previous sentence.