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Gambling Addiction Enabler: UFC 95

(You call that a mean face?  Shiiieeeet.)

Betting odds are out for this Saturday’s UFC event on Spike TV, which we’ll be liveblogging as usual.  If you’ve still got the disposable cash and the devil-may-care attitude necessary for online gambling in this bleak economic climate, allow us to steer you in the right direction for this one.  

The juiciest lines on the internets come to us courtesy of

Joe Stevenson (+281) vs. Diego Sanchez (-295)
Dan Hardy (even) vs. Rory Markham (-108)
Nate Marquardt (-258) vs. Wilson Gouveia (+250)
Demian Maia (-256) vs. Chael Sonnen (+236)
Josh Koscheck (-450) vs. Paulo Thiago (+450)
Terry Etim (-220) vs. Brian Cobb (+205)
Junior Dos Santos (-260) vs. Stefan Struve (+240)
Mike Ciesnolevicz (-115) vs. Neil Grove (-105)
Per Eklund (-160) vs. Evan Dunham (+140)
Paul Kelly (-290) vs. Troy Mandaloniz (+290)


- Given what we’ve seen from both Sanchez and Stevenson of late, the line on this one actually seems conservative.  The only good reason to bet on Stevenson is if you think Sanchez is going to have serious problems with the weight cut, and I don’t.  He’s always in phenomenal shape, which makes cutting weight easier, and Stevenson still has nothing to threaten him with.  

- Maia and Marquardt are both justified favorites, though Maia ought to be considered the safer bet of the two.  Gouveia hits hard enough that he always has a chance to turn your night into a dim memory.  Sonnen…not so much.

- If you’re looking for a good (slight) underdog, take a gander at Evan Dunham.  He’s got a good head of steam, a good team to work with in Xtreme Couture, and as first UFC oppnents go Per Eklund isn’t a bad draw.  Want to get riskier?  Consider Brian Cobb.  If he can straight-up outwrestle Etim and not get starry-eyed or jet-lagged, he has a shot.  If you want to just piss your money away go ahead and put it on "Rude Boy" Mandaloniz, but don’t blame us when your house gets foreclosed on.

- Absolutely Don’t Bet Against: Josh Koscheck.  Seriously, you think Kos is going down to a guy from the Brazilian leagues stepping into the Octagon for the first time?  No way.  You ought be ashamed of yourself for even thinking it.

- Certified Cage Potato Parlay:
Sanchez + Maia + Marquardt + Dos Santos.  Believe that, playa.

Cagepotato Comments

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UFC fan- February 19, 2009 at 11:06 am
"AND Now, for our tale of the tape"

Diego by KO
Koscheck by KO
Fight of the night: Nate Marquardt vs. Wilson Gouveia
submission of the night:Demian Maia

"everything else is VIRTUALLY pointless!"
Go-go-gadget-plata- February 19, 2009 at 6:40 am
Lock eyes from across the room,
Down my drink while the rhythms boom,
Take your hand and skip the names,
No need here for the silly games,
Make our way through the smoke n' crowd,
The club's the sky and I'm on your cloud,
Move in close as the lasers fly,
Our bodies touch and the angels cry,
Leave this place so we can rest*
You rub some grease on my chest*
and I...

*Obviously altered lines...

robococq- February 19, 2009 at 5:00 am
Ive seen a few highlight videos of paulo thiago and i think he could be the next big thing, definately worth a bet! Kos is so predictable and will be taken by surprise. Submission round 2!
Anonymous- February 19, 2009 at 1:36 am
can't wait to see Diego again, just hope the weight loss doesn't hurt him.

BdawgKildYa- February 18, 2009 at 11:04 pm
DO NOT underestimate Chael Sonnen.
Brad- February 18, 2009 at 9:06 pm
Ben and Ben are just the type of assholes that are going to rock all our worlds with a graph tomorrow.
john- February 18, 2009 at 8:42 pm
So i know this is on tv but is the Maia Sonnen not going to be on the televised portion? that sucks i want to see chael's bitch ass get submitted
Justin- February 18, 2009 at 7:08 pm
I want to see Kos take this guy, but if I had money to be it would be against him. Got a feeling....
Anonymoose- February 18, 2009 at 6:31 pm
i got a 1000 bucks that says JC would get his ass handed to him by the dutch guy.
Massacre- February 18, 2009 at 5:53 pm
I don't know how I already know this, maybe because I just have that gift, but there will be 1 specific fight where someone wins, and the other person loses... O.O
MMA Wannabe- February 18, 2009 at 5:53 pm
@ Bob Loblaw

And three trained goats are in on that train.

I love it when anonymous douchebags practically order the bens around on CP. Make your own damned website, fill it with your own funny commentary if you have such a problem with that. And while your at it, take 10-15 minutes to fuck yourself. Kthx.
Bob Loblaw- February 18, 2009 at 5:16 pm
take your graph and shove it up your ass, dude. what are you, some kind of 1st year statistical analysis student? geek. like the other guy said, this is a blog, so throw on some skates and get in the game.
if you're that hung up on graphical data bring a fucking flow chart representing successful pickups at university bars and see how long it takes to get your ass kicked by some dude who will probably end up running a train on your mother while you recover in the emergency room.
war machine- February 18, 2009 at 4:55 pm
no, i mean i really fucked diego sanchez, i met him at a gay club, and we have been fucking ever since, ali soma cant take it like me
war machine- February 18, 2009 at 4:44 pm
fuck a Diego Sanchez
Clozer- February 18, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Please just make a graph of something!
homegrowncone- February 18, 2009 at 4:29 pm
I would leave Dos Santos out of your Parlay if I were you. I have it on good authority we're going to see the worlds largest flying armbar Saturday.
Goat- February 18, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Neither are blow jobs, but hell, those kick ass.
ample- February 18, 2009 at 4:16 pm
@ Anonymous

Anonymous Says:
Wed, 02/18/2009 - 15:24
First of all, you dont know much about the guy fighting Koscheck, being absolutely sure of his win is plain dumb. Secondly, Marquardt in the certified cage potato parlay against gouveia is risky. You should do some analysis on the percentage of times you guys are right and wrong on your sure bets, I bet the number will not be favoring you. Please analyze the data, make a graph and show us.

Shut up fag, learn MMA, make a graph and show us
J.C.- February 18, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Betting is not Christian...
Travis- February 18, 2009 at 3:44 pm
Jesus Christ it a blog, an opinion of somebody else, (which they are entitled to)
so STFU.

fucking ppl cant even put ur names on what you write

feel free to e-mail me

Anonymous- February 18, 2009 at 3:37 pm
"You should do some analysis on the percentage of times you guys are right and wrong on your sure bets, I bet the number will not be favoring you. Please analyze the data, make a graph and show us."

You bet that huh? maybe you should make a graph to prove it

and please show us
rriiicc- February 18, 2009 at 3:32 pm
yea make a graph and show us PLEASE
lol dumb fag
Don- February 18, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Never bet against Maia, I learned that the hard way
Anonymous- February 18, 2009 at 3:31 pm
I did one of your 'Certified CagePotato Parlays' last time out and now I have to sell my house and move into a studio apartment with my wife and kids. Thanks.
LukeTheDuke- February 18, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Hey...I don't have money to bet on sports!