George Bush Tests Positive For Marijuana

(Photo courtesy of Sherdog.com)

I know what you’re thinking, ‘He just wrote that headline for the purposes of search engine optimization. He’s shameless.’ Normally, you’d be right (although if I really wanted to boost our SEO, I would’ve found a way to work ‘porn’ in there, and don’t think I didn’t consider it). But this particular headline, on this particular day, has the added benefit of being true.

Sherdog reported today that MMA fighter George Bush tested positive for marijuana following his decision loss to Ricco Rodriguez at the first (and hopefully last ever) YAMMA event on April 11. The loss was Bush’s first in six pro fights, and the positive test ensured that he won’t get a shot at redemption for at least ninety days as he rides out his suspension.

Said Bush:

“I just found out a few days ago, and needless to say, I’m very surprised and disappointed. I accept full responsibility for my actions, and I assure the fans that this will never happen again.”

First, how surprised could he be? Does he mean surprised he got caught, because he really thought that special tea he bought at GNC would clean the weed out of his system? Second, at least this George Bush can admit when he’s wrong. Hi-yo! I look forward to your comments.

In other news…

- MMA photographer Tracy Lee of Combat Lifestyle has been spending some time with B.J. Penn in Hawaii as he prepares for his bout with Sean Sherk at UFC 84. In her latest blog entry Lee chronicles the uncomfortable and the mundane alike with this description of B.J.’s massage session:

As BJ was taking his turn on the massage table, many well wishers called on my cell so I put them on speaker phone to chat with him. The first was Chael Sonnen.. They talked a bit about Chael’s impending fight with Paulo Filho, and then BJ’s fight with Sherk. BJ asked me how Gabe Ruediger was doing, so we got him on the phone too. Gabe told BJ, “I had neck surgery recently but am now back in the gym lightly training.” After a few minutes of conversation, Gabe asked BJ, “So where’s the afterparty going to be?” BJ responded,”I don’t think I’m even going to have an afterparty. I’m really just concentrating on the fight.”

Isn’t that just like Gabe Ruediger? B.J. wants to talk training, Gabe just wants to talk afterparty. This is the same attitude that resulted in him eating “just a little” ice cream cake when he was trying to make weight on The Ultimate Fighter. I wonder if they talked about how B.J. was unable to look Gabe in the eye after that colossal failure of character. I’m guessing no.

- Arizona State University announced recently that they are discontinuing their wrestling program. Normally we wouldn’t cover a story about college wrestling since it is not MMA, but rather something that is tangentially related to MMA the way good hygiene is tangentially related to active sexual relationships with women. But ASU wrestling has been in the news recently for producing UFC heavyweight Cain Velasquez and TUF contestant C.B. Dolloway, and one other guy. Let’s see, who was that again? Oh yeah, DON FUCKING FRYE.

ASU cut wrestling due to financial troubles, Vice President of University Athletics Lisa Love explained, and they also did away with men’s tennis and men’s swimming. Meanwhile, women’s gymnastics and women’s water polo continue to receive funding despite producing exactly zero professional fighters.

Think that’s a low blow, Lisa Love? Tell it to the young men whose dreams you’ve destroyed. I’m sure they’ll be comforted to know that a woman whose name sounds like an unimaginative porn star thinks their athletic pursuits are so expendable. And what of the male swimmers? My God, the swimmers!

(-Ben Fowlkes)