You know, for all the bizarre shenanigans Rampage Jackson seems to be getting himself into these days, he will never hold a candle to Bob Sapp. At this point in “The Beast’s” career, he has pretty much become a walking punchline in every sense of the word; a parody of a parody, if you will. And though it is easy to take shots at perhaps the lowest hanging fruit in the MMA landscape, we’re going to do it anyway. Let’s be honest, we follow Bob Sapp for the same reason that people watch reality television — to feel better about themselves afterward. He is the Troll 2 of mixed martial arts, a fighter so terrible that one only watches him participate out of a need to feel ironic. Why can’t we look away, you ask? Because white america has never felt less threatened by a 300 pound muscular black man in the history of its existence, and we like the feeling.
Clearly Sapp has begun to embrace this image to its fullest extent, for what else can one do when in the midst of what will likely become a record setting losing streak? If you don’t believe us, just check out the promo he made for his upcoming May 12th KSW 19 clash with Mariusz Pudzianowski, courtesy of IronForgesIron. In a word, it is a revelation.
Well, that just happened.
From a technical standpoint, a credit is due to Sapp’s 8 year-old niece for her ability to hold the camera so still. We’re not sure if she shot this, or if Sapp has an eight year old niece for that matter, but we dare the actual person responsible for this visual diarrhea to come forward and claim otherwise.
Aside from that, this video may just contain the most blasphemous use of the Rocky theme that we have ever seen/heard. Truly upsetting.
A few other things of note:
-Sapp prefers to consume his eggs by biting the shell and spitting the contents into the nearest sink
-He is under the impression that he is fighting someone named “Mario” on May 12th
-He REALLY enjoys evil-laughing.
-What’s with the fake scars?
-Were those literally the best highlights they could find from Sapp’s entire career?!
-We’ll admit that the Tonka Truck bit was mildly amusing. Congrats.
The promo clocks in at one minute and thirty-seven seconds. We’d like you, Potato Nation, to place your bets on the over/under for the fight itself in the comments section.