(‘Little Wanderlei and I are ready to do our duty for Mr. Dana White.’)

If there’s one thing we’ve learned about the UFC, it’s that if you invited them to your birthday party and they didn’t like you, they wouldn’t just not show up. They’d throw their own damn party on the same damn night, and it would have a petting zoo and “Rampage” Jackson would make balloon animals and even your closest friends would be tempted to go check it out. It ain’t nice, but that’s just how the UFC do.

They employed this strategy against Elite XC with their ‘Ultimate Iceman’ special on Spike TV, hoping to steal a few viewers. Apparently they’ve decided that simply repackaging old fights isn’t enough, so they’re taking their counter-programming efforts to a whole new level to try and stop Affliction in its tracks.

Sherdog reports that the UFC is trying to put together a live event on July 19, the same night as Affliction’s MMA debut, and they plan to offer it free on Spike. Both Wanderlei Silva and Brandon Vera have been approached about fighting on it, possibly against each other.

Heavyweight prospect Cain Velasquez has also been approached about fighting on the show, according to MMA Mania.

This means the UFC is trying to put together a show on about five weeks notice, which isn’t easy, all just to screw with Affliction. Of course, they’ll probably also have it in Las Vegas, where maybe they can steal some would-be ticket buyers from southern California. Affliction almost has to feel pleased that the UFC hates them this much already.

Maybe in the future this will become a yardstick by which to measure how seriously the UFC takes a competitor. If they throw together a last-minute live show to rival yours, then you’ve got them a little worried. If you’re only kind of on their radar, they’ll settle for a Spike TV highlight show of some kind. ‘Ultimate Iceman’ means you’ve got their attention. ‘Ultimate Koscheck’ however, means you’re really a nobody.