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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

GIF Party: MMA Fails, Volume II


Travis Fulton vs. Jeremy Bullock: just what the hell did they expect to happen?

“Try again.  Fail again.  Fail better.” -Samuel Beckett

Keeping those words from the first collection in our hearts, we’ve assembled the second installment of moments in MMA that some of us (mostly the athletes involved) would like to forget.  The rest of us, we want to see those moments saved forever, preferably in a graphic format that loops endlessly.

First, get your mind right with a fight video from the dark ages of MMA, when any human with a pair of pajamas and some Tae Kwon Do could try that crazy ultimate fightin’ stuff.  It was 1998, and Travis Fulton had already had over sixty fights.  His opponent was Jeremy Bullock, a skinny guy that probably really liked Bruce Lee movies.  Make sure to watch Bullock’s interview, where he shares his keys to victory with everyone, including Fulton.  Also watch the fight, where Fulton shares his love for a good pro wrestling-style chokeslam with everyone, including Bullock. (Reportedly, Bullock thinks Bruce Lee is a fucking asshole these days.)

Once you’re done with that piece of history, come on in and we’ll share more moments of infamy, awkwardness, stupidity, and shame.  It’s Fail GIF time, kids; let’s party.

As always, big ups, props, and mad respec’ to the GIF masters and the websites that host them: Chris Bunch o’ Numbers, Uncle Justice, Damn Severn, Zombie Prophet, Caposa,   UpstandingCitizens, MMA-Core, IronForgesIron, and MMATKO.  If we forgot you, it’s not on purpose.

 

Get Started on the Right Foot!

To be successful in an MMA fight, a solid start is important.  Intimidation during the staredown can be helpful, but make sure that your first offensive attempt is sound.  The first minute of a fight will set the tone for the entire bout, and you want to be ahead from the first bell.

 

Yoshihiro Nakao succeeds in disrupting Herring’s gameplan, fails at fighting.

Turns out Dustin Hazelett is a huge Harold Howard fan.

Before Lyoto Machida, there was Sean Salmon.  Karate Kid never die!


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asadfw- August 5, 2011 at 7:41 pm
http://www.benzlogo.com

Women's fashion, men's personality + shoes

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RaginAsian- August 4, 2011 at 1:11 pm
No Cecil Peoples-Nate Quarry-Pete Sell threesome? Too bad.
dranokills- August 3, 2011 at 7:45 pm
great work rexy.....to bad the goddamn spammers are allowed to come in here fuck it up.
Mofo- August 3, 2011 at 6:25 pm
Rex! You are now the best contributor on CP!

Was that Paul Taylor v Paul Kelly and Dan didn't know which was which? LMAO

I never forgot how some dude who was enough of a douche to be named "Handsome" Matt Wiman and enough of a douche to mock his veteran opponent during his debut in the UFC got fucking steamrolled with a flying knee for his troubles. A class moment of what NOT to do.

Matt was never very handsome again - he cut all his hair and grew a big caveman beard... and actually got a LOT better once he was ugly.

Ninja! Awesome to get the backstory, and I'm glad that hick didn't end up paralyzed cuz that clip always creeped me out.
CungwantsCookies- August 3, 2011 at 4:08 pm
holy shit that last clip cracks me up every fucking time i see it. laughing at cecil peoples like beating up the handicapped. its so much fun but i feel kinda greasy afterwards
smiledriver- August 3, 2011 at 3:08 pm
ho-ho-ho-ho-holy sh*t!

Forgive me for hearing Jim Ross calling that fight.

"Bullock will have to use his speed, his quickness....CHOKESLAM CHOKESLAM!!!! Somebody stop this!!!!"
WalksInTheDarkness- August 3, 2011 at 1:44 pm
I'm still so confused by that thing that Cecil Peoples does before a fight. Could someone please explain to me what he's meant to be doing(aside from showing further reasons why he shouldn't be allowed to judge a MMA fight.)
ReX13- August 3, 2011 at 1:32 pm
Growing up in NC, "getting your butt in a bind" meant you were in a difficult situation.
That quote never fails to crack me up.
fightfan- August 3, 2011 at 1:00 pm
BTW....

Definitely cool story Ninja!!
fightfan- August 3, 2011 at 12:57 pm
Jeremy Bullock in his best hick voice....


"What I have to do to win is just keep my butt in a bind right there"

Classic.
ReX13- August 3, 2011 at 12:10 pm
Ninja >> i mean this sincerely: cool story, bro.
NinjaVanish- August 3, 2011 at 11:34 am
LOL I know Fulton, seen alot of his fights, hell even fought in his promotion and watched him fight like a month ago.

The story behind that slam is fucking hilarious. This is his story from his facebok page:

"Ahh the story behind this fight. To horten it up a little bit, I had been in Brazil for about a month. I fought down there when I first got there and I had a tournament set up about 3 weeks later. I was initially supposed to fly back to Iowa and be home for 3 days before I got on a plane again and flew to Salt Lake City to fight in a tournament out there.

I won the tournament in Brazil and kinda messed my knee up (thus why I was limping in this video) and the promoter in Brazil stuck us in a cab and we drove through the night from salvador to Recife to catch our plane to Rio and then back to the US. It's brazil, their roads suck and we were late. Had to stay 2 extra days before they got us on a plane. I arrived in Miami the morning of the fights in salt Lake City. This was pre 911 so airlines weren't complete nazis so I asked if they could just route me to Salt Lake City instead. I arrived at 5pm and ran into a reporter I knew. We went to eat and then I went to the venue and filmed my interview for TV.

I got to the venue and some douchebag who I wasn't even fighting in the first round of the tournament started complaining to the promoter that he wanted to see me weigh in and that he didn't believe that I was under 200 lbs which was the requirement for the tournament. Obviously I didn't make the official weigh ins the night before. So I weighed in and I was 202 lbs. The promoter asked me if I could drop a few lbs before the start of the show (which was in 2 hours) So I threw on some plastics and ran for a little bit and I don't really recall what else I did, but I only dropped half a pound in an hr. So this guy started making a big deal and then got my first round opponent all worked up too. So they had to pull me out of the tournament and I said screw it, I could use a night off anyways.....

Well the promoter didn't want there to be an open spot in the tournament so they took a 185 lbs guy who was initially set to fight the 170 lbs karate kid and threw him in the tournament. The karate kid was upset and said that he wanted to fight. So they told him that he'd have to give up 30 lbs to fight me. I was standing right there and he totally jumped up on a chair and did some kind of Van Damme splits and said that his style taught him to take on men of all sizes and then he started doing some kind of meditating.

We knew this guy was a goon so the promoter (monte Cox, who manages Sylvia, Franklin, Hughes, etc) asked me to just take him down and submit him. And if you watch the fight you can see that I don't hit him. of course I was tempted to when he flew over my head and tried to pull off some move he saw on Tekken. There were like 14,000 people at the event and I didn't wanna just submit him so i figured I'd pull off a cool slam and then choke him out or something. Well when I picked him up he held onto me and I slammed him and he landed on the back of his neck.

It's funny now because the guy was fine. It fractured 2 vertebrae in his neck. Actualyl like 6 months later I fought heath herring in Salt Lake City and this guy was there and he came up to me after I won and said that he is training hard now and after he beats Frank Shamrock (Shamrock was the top 205 lbs guy in the world at the time) he planned to rematch me.

LOL!
skeletor- August 3, 2011 at 10:52 am
Isn't "Hello Japan" actually "I broke my hand"? Either way I will always tell it the funny way, just like "How taste my pee pee"
RwilsonR- August 3, 2011 at 10:44 am
So you're saying doing the splits and axe kicks in front of a mirror doesn't work?
Pen Fifteen- August 3, 2011 at 9:28 am
I about shit my pants at this comment from the CP article on Nick Serra from three years ago: "Nick Serra looks like he’s starring in some sort of Italian, bestiality-themed gay-porn version of Shakespeare."
XENOPHON- August 3, 2011 at 9:18 am
What the fuck happened to Jeremy Bullock - he is so squirrely that initially I thought he got the wind knocked out of him for the first time in his life and was in fear of not being able to breath. Then I realized he was actually hurt via smashing.
Fried Taco- August 3, 2011 at 9:09 am
That last one is golden!!
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