This guy knows what we’re talking about.

The nature of mixed martial arts competition means that you never know what you’re going to get when you tune in. Maybe a stand-up war, maybe a kinetic chess match. For some fans, there is nothing so thrilling as a technical back-and-forth mat battle.

Hell, some people even enjoy watching Ben Askren catch a firm grip on his opponent and breakdance all over him for fifteen minutes, and they get all hot and bothered seeing a good hip heist or X-guard sweep. We enjoy all that stuff. Then there are a double handful of techniques that bridge the gap — that excite every single person in the arena, every fight fan at the bar, and every keyboard warrior watching at home.

In the interest of finding common ground with all fans of this crazy fad that is ultimate fighting, we present to you this not-at-all exhaustive list of moves that seem more likely to be pulled off with an XBoX controller, rather than by a human being who is bound by the laws of physics.

Come one in past the jump, and let’s talk about the kinds of moves that make everyone jump up and spill their beer.

Special thanks to MMA-Core, IronForgesIron, mmaGIF, UpstandingCitizens.com, Tapology, Large Midget and The Forum Assholes, and GIF ninjas everywhere.

[RX]

Kneeing a grounded opponent

No ground and pound attack showcases a fighter’s grappling dominance (or perhaps his opponent’s unwillingness to fight) more decisively than a dozen unanswered knees to the kidney. While knees on the ground have become more rare since the demise of Pride rules, you can still spot them occasionally.

Pride never die.  Because “Pride Never Stop Pissing Blood” just sounds so barbaric.

Oh yeah, GSP *did* have a stoppage victory celebration.  Forgot about that.

Shogun decides pretty quickly that absorbing knees on the ground is a bad idea.

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