Gentlemen, rejoice. It’s been a while since we’ve reported on the lovely Ms. Gina Carano, mainly due to the fact that she’s never coming back to us, and we’re incredibly bitter about it. But be that as it may, we wish Gina the best of luck on her newly chosen path, and despite the fact that next to none of you were devoted enough fans to catch her big screen debut last January, it appears that “Conviction” already has another role in a major film lined up. As we have come to understand, anytime Gina is placed in front of a camera is reason enough to celebrate, and her next project is sure to drag mindless, movie-going audiences in by the droves.
The Hollywood Reporter was the first to break the news:
Haywire star Gina Carano, the MMA athlete-turned-actress, is in negotiations to join the cast of Fast & Furious 6, the next installment in the billion-dollar franchise for Universal Pictures.
Plot and character are being kept locked in the trunk of a 1970 Dodge Charger, but Paul Walker and Vin Diesel are set to return as rogue heroes Brian O’Connor and Dominic Toretto, respectively, while Dwayne Johnson is reprising his role as Diplomatic Security Service Agent Luke Hobbs, out to capture the boys.
Carano will play a member of Johnson’s team.
Launched in 2001, the Fast franchise is one of Universal’s hottest properties, with 2011′s Fast Five reinvigorating what was considered a long-in-the-tooth series. Fast Five gave Universal its biggest opening weekend in studio history and grossed more than $600 million worldwide.
Although your excitement over the announcement of yet another Fast and Furious movie is likely dependent on your ability to complete a sentence without using the word “bro”, it’s nice to see that Haywire’s failure didn’t completely crush Gina’s Hollywood aspirations. And hey, she may have only been in a couple of movies, but she can undoubtedly act circles around Paul Walker already, so maybe the film won’t be a complete shitfest. Like, you know, entries 1, 2, 4, and 5. I refuse to talk shit about Tokyo Drift, because any movie with Japanese girls in impossibly short skirts and Lil’ Bow Wow gets my nod of approval.
Hopefully this will be the first film in Ms. Carano’s catalog that features her actual voice, but we’re not going to get ahead of ourselves. Fast 6 is slated for release May 24, 2013, so start tricking out your Honda Accords with flashy paint jobs and ridiculous spoilers for the premiere, which will undoubtedly feature the the largest gathering of meathead douche bags since last season’s Jersey Shore.
Regardless of how the film turns out, it must sadden Gina to know that the combined powers of Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson will never match the awesomeness of Alfonso Ribeiro…
That’s right, the man best known as “Carlton” recently lead a flash mob paying tribute to the awe-inspiring moves of his Fresh Prince of Bel-Air character, and my God was it glorious. Is it even slightly related to MMA in any way, shape, or form? No, but neither is Gina Carano at this point, and those three minutes provided more entertainment than any Fast and Furious movie ever has. Post validated.