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Gina Carano’s Next Big Movie Project is…

(Just marvel at it.) 

Gentlemen, rejoice. It’s been a while since we’ve reported on the lovely Ms. Gina Carano, mainly due to the fact that she’s never coming back to us, and we’re incredibly bitter about it. But be that as it may, we wish Gina the best of luck on her newly chosen path, and despite the fact that next to none of you were devoted enough fans to catch her big screen debut last January, it appears that “Conviction” already has another role in a major film lined up. As we have come to understand, anytime Gina is placed in front of a camera is reason enough to celebrate, and her next project is sure to drag mindless, movie-going audiences in by the droves.

The Hollywood Reporter was the first to break the news:

Haywire star Gina Carano, the MMA athlete-turned-actress, is in negotiations to join the cast of Fast & Furious 6, the next installment in the billion-dollar franchise for Universal Pictures.

Plot and character are being kept locked in the trunk of a 1970 Dodge Charger, but Paul Walker and Vin Diesel are set to return as rogue heroes Brian O’Connor and Dominic Toretto, respectively, while Dwayne Johnson is reprising his role as Diplomatic Security Service Agent Luke Hobbs, out to capture the boys.

Carano will play a member of Johnson’s team.

Launched in 2001, the Fast franchise is one of Universal’s hottest properties, with 2011′s Fast Five reinvigorating what was considered a long-in-the-tooth series. Fast Five gave Universal its biggest opening weekend in studio history and grossed more than $600 million worldwide.

Although your excitement over the announcement of yet another Fast and Furious movie is likely dependent on your ability to complete a sentence without using the word “bro”, it’s nice to see that Haywire’s failure didn’t completely crush Gina’s Hollywood aspirations. And hey, she may have only been in a couple of movies, but she can undoubtedly act circles around Paul Walker already, so maybe the film won’t be a complete shitfest. Like, you know, entries 1, 2, 4, and 5. I refuse to talk shit about Tokyo Drift, because any movie with Japanese girls in impossibly short skirts and Lil’ Bow Wow gets my nod of approval.

Hopefully this will be the first film in Ms. Carano’s catalog that features her actual voice, but we’re not going to get ahead of ourselves. Fast 6 is slated for release May 24, 2013, so start tricking out your Honda Accords with flashy paint jobs and ridiculous spoilers for the premiere, which will undoubtedly feature the the largest gathering of meathead douche bags since last season’s Jersey Shore. 

Regardless of how the film turns out, it must sadden Gina to know that the combined powers of Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson will never match the awesomeness of Alfonso Ribeiro…

That’s right, the man best known as “Carlton” recently lead a flash mob paying tribute to the awe-inspiring moves of his Fresh Prince of Bel-Air character, and my God was it glorious. Is it even slightly related to MMA in any way, shape, or form? No, but neither is Gina Carano at this point, and those three minutes provided more entertainment than any Fast and Furious movie ever has. Post validated.

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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KeithHackneyWindmillPalmStrike- April 26, 2012 at 4:23 am
Terrible movies....hopefully she shows her titties
xxxrayrayray- April 25, 2012 at 8:26 pm
sdfgdsfhf- April 25, 2012 at 6:45 pm
( )
Believe you will love it.
credit card and f ree s hipping.
I bought two pairs. Cheap, good quality, you can
go and ship with there
linzhanbm- April 25, 2012 at 7:29 am . ... .
The12ozCurls- April 24, 2012 at 7:59 pm
She'll be doing full blown porno by this time next year. At least I hope she is.
Viva Hate- April 24, 2012 at 1:18 pm
Fast and furious just like she likes it, wocka wocka.
Ricardo Guitardo- April 24, 2012 at 10:38 am
Is she going to do a love scene with Vern Disel? Gross
jjrdias- April 24, 2012 at 10:26 am
The Fast and Furious is in the same garbage-lowly level as John Carter of Mars, but the aforementioned franchise keeps making money... Put John Carter in a Silverado next time and maybe it won't bomb, i guess... Very disconcerting...
Fried Taco- April 24, 2012 at 10:20 am
Don't really care unless she flashes the knockers. Fast cars and naked women are what make a movie.
nomomrnicekyle- April 24, 2012 at 10:05 am
Fast Five was actually a good movie, even though the rest were pretty much terrible (except for the first, which was okay.) Its going to make a ton of money, so she's definitely gonna come up. Haywire was decent as well, although dubbing her voice pretty much suggests her ability to believably deliver dialogue is sub par. I wonder if they'll actually let her talk this time.
Clyde- April 24, 2012 at 10:02 am
I didn't watch Haywire, but I'm certain that Gina can out act Paul Walker any day of the week.

Plus, since no one at CP really cares about facts anyway, JJ can vindicate the video by claiming that Alfonso Riberio was an alternate at UFC 3, where he beat Randy Coture for the 2nd Alternate spot, but did not get a chance to compete. Also, that he has been tipped to take Paul Walker's role in Fast 6, due to Paul Walker's ongoing battle with Dutch Elm Disease.
NomadRip- April 24, 2012 at 10:00 am
I finally watched Haywire over the weekend. I don't have anything bad to say about Gina's part in it. She made it bearable. The rest of it just sucked. Good idea, but horrible execution. That's Soderberg(?)'s fault, not hers, or even Bill Pullman/Paxton's.
I won't have to watch the other Furious films to be able to watch this one, I trust?
RwilsonR- April 24, 2012 at 9:41 am
So the producers and director thought to themselves, "You know, we could really use a chubby chick who gives off that 'she could be cute if she lost a few' vibe, to really compliment Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, and a punch of little punk Asian dudes. Who cares if she can act. We have Paul-Fucking-Walker starring in these movies, right?"
nomomrnicekyle- April 24, 2012 at 10:07 am
Dude where do you get chubby? Shes got muscles and she's not anorexic, so now shes chubby? The irony is you're probably a fat ass.
RwilsonR- April 24, 2012 at 9:36 am
"Fast & Furious 6, the next installment in the billion-dollar franchise..." -- what a sad statement on our culture. If not a direct sign, this has to at least be hinting towards the apocalypse.
nomomrnicekyle- April 24, 2012 at 10:09 am
The last one was actually a good movie, it got good reviews from critics like Roger Ebert who are very discerning when it comes to positive critiques.
DangadaDang- April 24, 2012 at 9:13 am
I couldn't believe it either, Socratic.
SocraticMethod- April 24, 2012 at 9:11 am
There have been 5 Fast & Furious movies already?