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God Damn It: Those Hollywood Sons-of-Bitches Are Remaking ‘Bloodsport’

Bloodsport Jean Claude Van Damme Ray Jackson Frank Dux
(Oh no. They’re going to cast Will Ferrell and Steve Carell, aren’t they.)

Maybe this is a little off-topic, but considering we previously named Bloodsport the #3 fight movie of all time — and the underground “Kumite” tournament depicted in the flick is basically the spiritual godfather of the UFC — you might be interested to know that the 1988 Van Damme classic is being remade for modern times. According to ScreenDaily (via ScreenJunkies), veteran producer Ed Pressman has closed a deal to remake the flick, and has tapped Phillip Noyce (Clear and Present Danger, The Bone Collector, Salt) to direct and Robert Mark Kamen (The Karate Kid, Lethal Weapon 3, The Transporter) to write the screenplay.

Now that international mixed-styles martial arts tournaments actually exist in the real world, the Bloodsport re-boot will be making some necessary updates. ScreenDaily says that the flick will follow an American who goes to Brazil to recover from the violence he experienced in Afghanistan and becomes involved in a martial arts contest. So, we have Brazil (a clear signifier for ‘MMA’) along with some good-ol’ American post-Bin Laden PTSD.

Unfortunately, we have no other details yet as far as shoot-dates and cast. So head to the comments section and throw in your suggestions on who should play Frank Dux, Chong Li, Ray Jackson, and the blond reporter chick who was grossed out by the kumite but still had sex with Van Damme anyway.

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rite leg ospitahl- May 18, 2011 at 11:05 am
this is the "movie role" rampage has been waiting on; he will find some way to be in it mark my words. somebody above said gsp will play dux and i absolutley agree depending on what kind of movie this thing ends up being. if its a "b" movie gsp is already reading the script as we speak. for a "blockbuster" though they are gonna want somebody that can be a believable american. Not a guy that take fourteen takes to get a scene just because he keeps tripping over his pronunciation. ray jackson will be either rampages role because we have to colorize the main character cast in the updated version or a pro wrestler. tank abbot wont make it becuz of his refusal to train. he will be winded and tired after one fight scene. big country will sign on for the role to take his place only later to be dropped due to a contractual obligation he forgot about to another production company. the chick, im up in the air about. mila kunis, olivia wilde, i dont think she will be a danty blonde like the original though.
flyingogoplata- May 18, 2011 at 10:34 am
Chong Li - Machida
Ray jackson - Randy
Frank Dux - Jon Jones

Real life subplot with Randy teaching Bones how not to get KTFO by a front kick.

And please, oh please, Brittney Palmer as the reporter. And we need nude scenes...lots of nude scenes.
flyingogoplata- May 18, 2011 at 10:31 am
It's Ogre you asshole!
jimbonics- May 18, 2011 at 8:35 am
http://www.jimbonics.com/images/bloodsport.gif
GistoftheFist- May 18, 2011 at 7:26 am
Something I thought was funny is that two guys fighting the monkey style guy would swing punches at shoulder-height where as the monkey style guy was only at knee-height. I think they must have bought their black belts there in Hong Kong. Bloodsport is a movie I like the more I see it. But you commenters left out the most intimidating sounding dub from the guy with the silver tooth: Now I show you some trick or two!
Me likey- May 18, 2011 at 5:26 am
YEEAAAAAA MIKEY!!!!
warchief65- May 18, 2011 at 12:45 am
Re-make of " Blood Sport " ? I hate to break it to you , but , every Jean Van Dam movie IS a re-make of " Blood Sport " . Dux's sued his ass about 5 years or so , I can't recall what year it was . That's why he had to quit making movies . That , and getting your ass kicked from your double stunt man , will do it to you too .
titusmanlius- May 17, 2011 at 10:11 pm
"van damme classic": a film that will be remembered for decades because van damme was in it, not because it was good.

i wonder if this version will spend as much camera time focusing on the main character's ass.
B-Fury- May 17, 2011 at 9:31 pm
More importantly, who's going to play the janitor that finds the gold tooth and checks it's validity by biting it?
jyveturkey- May 17, 2011 at 9:24 pm
hey karma, the dick in your ass is supposed to loosen you up.
linlijunc- May 17, 2011 at 8:16 pm
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MyDogAteKarma- May 17, 2011 at 7:19 pm
@parchy, What if C-A-T really spelled DOG?
djp1988- May 17, 2011 at 5:49 pm
Gary Busey should play the entire cast.
Squirrel- May 17, 2011 at 4:49 pm
NEEEERRRDDSSS!!! oh shit. wrong movie
KarmaAteMyCat- May 17, 2011 at 4:35 pm
Frank Dukes isn't even the real Fighters name and he actually didn't even win the kumite. Interesting little tidbit of information he was injured and had to pull from the competition. He's a liar and a serious Exaggerator though a more then decent Martial Artist. My buddie has the VHS that follows the Real Frank and the ongoings of the Original kumite.
El Guapo- May 17, 2011 at 4:17 pm
^Until tomorrow
El Guapo- May 17, 2011 at 4:16 pm
D'oh! How the hell did I forget about that guy, you guys?
That's it, I'm giving up herb. Forever.
Chromium- May 17, 2011 at 3:49 pm
Frank Dux is far fuller of shit than Steven Seagal. At least Seagal was a legit elite aikido guy (a CIA agent he was not though).

Dux made up everything.
VoodooMonk- May 17, 2011 at 3:42 pm
Mark Dacascos or GSP = Frank Dux

Roy Nelson or Don Frye = Ray Jackson

Wanderlei Silva = Paco

Yoshihiro Takayama = Sumo Dude

Cheick Kongo = Black guy that got KTFO by Van Damme

Kendra Wilkinson = Reporter

Chow Yun-Fat = Senzo Tanaka
BaghdadBob- May 17, 2011 at 3:40 pm
"Van Damme classic" - Holy WTF!?!
RwilsonR- May 17, 2011 at 3:39 pm
@ El Guapo - you're forgetting the other black guy in the movie. There was the little monkey guy who got broken by the sumo wrestler. But there was also the crazy voodoo dude, who remained silent the whole time, and before the fight slowly pointed to his opponent, then pointed back at himself, and then gave a Josh Barnett-style neck slash motion while his crazy eyes were bugging out.
And don't forget the clearly Asian actor who was cast as the Arab wearing a Yasser-Arafat-keffiyeh-style doo-rag, whose palm JCVD snatched a coin from.
Shame on you for not recognizing the diversity represented by Bloodsport.
Fried Taco- May 17, 2011 at 3:22 pm
When they gonna remake Goonies?
Spicymeatball- May 17, 2011 at 3:20 pm
I ain't your pal, dickface.
Smitty- May 17, 2011 at 3:15 pm
@ intercept440
Maybe ur right dog, but I was speaking from the 80's point of few. I'm just tired of all these freakin remakes. Friday the 13th, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Karate Kid, Conan, etc.
rearnakedchickenchoke- May 17, 2011 at 2:47 pm
i'sabowfuckingtiiime!
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