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God Damn It: Those Hollywood Sons-of-Bitches Are Remaking ‘Bloodsport’

Bloodsport Jean Claude Van Damme Ray Jackson Frank Dux
(Oh no. They’re going to cast Will Ferrell and Steve Carell, aren’t they.)

Maybe this is a little off-topic, but considering we previously named Bloodsport the #3 fight movie of all time — and the underground “Kumite” tournament depicted in the flick is basically the spiritual godfather of the UFC — you might be interested to know that the 1988 Van Damme classic is being remade for modern times. According to ScreenDaily (via ScreenJunkies), veteran producer Ed Pressman has closed a deal to remake the flick, and has tapped Phillip Noyce (Clear and Present Danger, The Bone Collector, Salt) to direct and Robert Mark Kamen (The Karate Kid, Lethal Weapon 3, The Transporter) to write the screenplay.

Now that international mixed-styles martial arts tournaments actually exist in the real world, the Bloodsport re-boot will be making some necessary updates. ScreenDaily says that the flick will follow an American who goes to Brazil to recover from the violence he experienced in Afghanistan and becomes involved in a martial arts contest. So, we have Brazil (a clear signifier for ‘MMA’) along with some good-ol’ American post-Bin Laden PTSD.

Unfortunately, we have no other details yet as far as shoot-dates and cast. So head to the comments section and throw in your suggestions on who should play Frank Dux, Chong Li, Ray Jackson, and the blond reporter chick who was grossed out by the kumite but still had sex with Van Damme anyway.

Comments

  1. omunto Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 12:25


    This is a crime against humanity. Ed Pressman, Phillip Noyce, and Robert Mark Kamen must die for their sins!
  2. Marno Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 12:26


    sameul l jackson as frank dux, micheal cera as chong li, jennifer anniston as ray jackson and deniro as the chick
  3. BONGTAR Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 12:32


    Jason Statham, Sexyama, Roy Nelson and any hot chick
  4. Viva Hate Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 12:33


    The new Frank W. Dux- Roger Huerta Bazilian Chong Li- Thiago Silva after his next cycle of roids is finished Ray Jackson- Tank Abbott Janice Kent- that big ass Brazilian chick highlighted here a couple of weeks ago Victor-Ken Jeong Senzo Tanaka- Jackie Chan
  5. agentsmith Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 12:34


    Hector Echavarria as Frank Dux, Rampage Jackson as Ray Jackson, Hector Lombard as the Chong Li character, and Natasha Wicks as the reporter.
  6. agentsmith Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 12:35


    ^ At Viva Hate's suggestion, I'll also accept Thiago Silva as Chong Li.
  7. Smitty Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 12:39


    This sucks! Did anyone see the trailer for the new Conan the Barbarian? That looks like it's gonna suck compared to the original too.
  8. intercept440 Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 12:45


    although this could be an entertaining movie....the original bloodspoort was a glorified fake version of what was a real historical tournement.. frank dux is a real person...hollywood fucked it up with bloodsport however good it was for 1984.....but by moving it to brazil..is fucking the real story up even further....Epic Fail
  9. intercept440 Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 12:47


    actually smitty i think the conan trailer looked pretty good...you have to remeber even though the original conan was bomb back in the eighties if ya go watch it now....(i watched it a few weeks ago....other than the fighting and the small humourus parts... the story really was kinda lacking) at least i thought...although all the titties were good lol
  10. O Chan Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 12:57


    Fantastic caption!
  11. O Chan Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 12:58


    Not for nothing, but maybe a reboot with Ferell and Carell ala "Dragnet" would be better than doing a serious remake.
  12. a platypus Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 12:59


    this is downright depressing. bloodsport is one of my favorite movies of all time, this is an insult to frank dux and the entire Kumite. it will be amazing how i simultaneously hate every time they copy from the original and every time they stray from it. Will they reprise the "death touch?" who's gonna play his biker buddy he befriends and then must avenge? what about the goofey "monkey-style" guy who jumps on people and karate chops them? ill say this, it would go a long way to helping me accept the new version if forest whitaker played a taser carrying government official tasked to bring back whoever plays the dux character.
  13. agentsmith Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 01:00


    @ intercept440: Yes, Frank Dux is a real person. And he's as full of shit as Steven Seagal.
  14. El Guapo Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 01:06


    (Token Asian dude)"Dux my man!" Also, I'd cast Krazy Horse/Kid Chaos as the only black guy in the entire movie. You know, he goes one and done in the Kumite? Fight style best described as chimpish?? If you know about "Bloodsport" you know who I'm talkin about.
  15. ReX13 Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 01:11


    ^oh good, agentsmith said it for me.^
  16. Limfamous Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 01:14


    You break my record, now I break you, like I break your friend!
  17. RwilsonR Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 01:20


    "OK USA!"
  18. CroCops Gluteus Maximus Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 01:23


    GSP = Frank Dux Ray Jackson = Roy Nelson Senzo Tanaka = Yoshizo Machida
  19. BLOODSPORT REMAKE?…SAY IT AIN’T SO | mmabadass.com Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 01:24


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  20. RwilsonR Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 01:24


    I just hope one of Will Smith's kids isn't cast in this movie.
  21. El Guapo Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 01:25


    Dammit! I shoulda busted the "OK USA" line. Shit!
  22. Elentius Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 01:43


    You guys are some funny fuckers. I love the Will Smith and OK USA lines. Conan looks aight BTW... at least it's not Pathfinder
  23. Sloppyspray Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 01:52


    I vote to have Yang Sze (Bolo Yeung) reprise his role as Chong Li because that dude does not age. Seriously, he was 42(!!) when he was in Bloodsport. And we think Couture has the magic blood? Put me on whatever Yang Sze is on.
  24. parchy mcthirst Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 02:01


    NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDS
  25. Oh No, They’re Remaking Bloodsport Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 02:15


    [...] Daily, via Cage Potato, is reporting that the 1988 classic fight film Bloodsport starring Jean Claude Van Damme is being [...]
  26. rearnakedchickenchoke Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 02:47


    i'sabowfuckingtiiime!
  27. Smitty Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 03:15


    @ intercept440 Maybe ur right dog, but I was speaking from the 80's point of few. I'm just tired of all these freakin remakes. Friday the 13th, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Karate Kid, Conan, etc.
  28. Spicymeatball Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 03:20


    I ain't your pal, dickface.
  29. Fried Taco Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 03:22


    When they gonna remake Goonies?
  30. RwilsonR Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 03:39


    @ El Guapo - you're forgetting the other black guy in the movie. There was the little monkey guy who got broken by the sumo wrestler. But there was also the crazy voodoo dude, who remained silent the whole time, and before the fight slowly pointed to his opponent, then pointed back at himself, and then gave a Josh Barnett-style neck slash motion while his crazy eyes were bugging out. And don't forget the clearly Asian actor who was cast as the Arab wearing a Yasser-Arafat-keffiyeh-style doo-rag, whose palm JCVD snatched a coin from. Shame on you for not recognizing the diversity represented by Bloodsport.
  31. BaghdadBob Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 03:40


    "Van Damme classic" - Holy WTF!?!
  32. VoodooMonk Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 03:42


    Mark Dacascos or GSP = Frank Dux Roy Nelson or Don Frye = Ray Jackson Wanderlei Silva = Paco Yoshihiro Takayama = Sumo Dude Cheick Kongo = Black guy that got KTFO by Van Damme Kendra Wilkinson = Reporter Chow Yun-Fat = Senzo Tanaka
  33. Chromium Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 03:49


    Frank Dux is far fuller of shit than Steven Seagal. At least Seagal was a legit elite aikido guy (a CIA agent he was not though). Dux made up everything.
  34. El Guapo Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 04:16


    D'oh! How the hell did I forget about that guy, you guys? That's it, I'm giving up herb. Forever.
  35. El Guapo Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 04:17


    ^Until tomorrow
  36. KarmaAteMyCat Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 04:35


    Frank Dukes isn't even the real Fighters name and he actually didn't even win the kumite. Interesting little tidbit of information he was injured and had to pull from the competition. He's a liar and a serious Exaggerator though a more then decent Martial Artist. My buddie has the VHS that follows the Real Frank and the ongoings of the Original kumite.
  37. Squirrel Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 04:49


    NEEEERRRDDSSS!!! oh shit. wrong movie
  38. djp1988 Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 05:49


    Gary Busey should play the entire cast.
  39. MyDogAteKarma Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 07:19


    @parchy, What if C-A-T really spelled DOG?
  40. linlijunc Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 08:16


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  41. jyveturkey Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 09:24


    hey karma, the dick in your ass is supposed to loosen you up.
  42. B-Fury Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 09:31


    More importantly, who's going to play the janitor that finds the gold tooth and checks it's validity by biting it?
  43. titusmanlius Says:

    Tue, 05/17/11 - 10:11


    "van damme classic": a film that will be remembered for decades because van damme was in it, not because it was good. i wonder if this version will spend as much camera time focusing on the main character's ass.
  44. warchief65 Says:

    Wed, 05/18/11 - 12:45


    Re-make of " Blood Sport " ? I hate to break it to you , but , every Jean Van Dam movie IS a re-make of " Blood Sport " . Dux's sued his ass about 5 years or so , I can't recall what year it was . That's why he had to quit making movies . That , and getting your ass kicked from your double stunt man , will do it to you too .
  45. Me likey Says:

    Wed, 05/18/11 - 05:26


    YEEAAAAAA MIKEY!!!!
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  47. GistoftheFist Says:

    Wed, 05/18/11 - 07:26


    Something I thought was funny is that two guys fighting the monkey style guy would swing punches at shoulder-height where as the monkey style guy was only at knee-height. I think they must have bought their black belts there in Hong Kong. Bloodsport is a movie I like the more I see it. But you commenters left out the most intimidating sounding dub from the guy with the silver tooth: Now I show you some trick or two!
  48. jimbonics Says:

    Wed, 05/18/11 - 08:35


    http://www.jimbonics.com/images/bloodsport.gif
  49. flyingogoplata Says:

    Wed, 05/18/11 - 10:31


    It's Ogre you asshole!
  50. flyingogoplata Says:

    Wed, 05/18/11 - 10:34


    Chong Li - Machida Ray jackson - Randy Frank Dux - Jon Jones Real life subplot with Randy teaching Bones how not to get KTFO by a front kick. And please, oh please, Brittney Palmer as the reporter. And we need nude scenes...lots of nude scenes.
  51. rite leg ospitahl Says:

    Wed, 05/18/11 - 11:05


    this is the "movie role" rampage has been waiting on; he will find some way to be in it mark my words. somebody above said gsp will play dux and i absolutley agree depending on what kind of movie this thing ends up being. if its a "b" movie gsp is already reading the script as we speak. for a "blockbuster" though they are gonna want somebody that can be a believable american. Not a guy that take fourteen takes to get a scene just because he keeps tripping over his pronunciation. ray jackson will be either rampages role because we have to colorize the main character cast in the updated version or a pro wrestler. tank abbot wont make it becuz of his refusal to train. he will be winded and tired after one fight scene. big country will sign on for the role to take his place only later to be dropped due to a contractual obligation he forgot about to another production company. the chick, im up in the air about. mila kunis, olivia wilde, i dont think she will be a danty blonde like the original though.
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    Sat, 09/10/11 - 07:18


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