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What the Hell Has Happened to Rory Markham?: A Depressing Mugshot Pictorial

(Don’t worry. It gets much, much worse.) 

Props to UG user YousHerName (the whimsy!), for unearthing the latest evidence in the downward spiral of Rory Markham. You might not have heard, but the former UFC welterweight and owner of one of the nastiest walk-off KO’s of all time was arrested back in April on felony assault charges. Turns out, the 31 year-old has seen more than his fair share of legal troubles over the years, one of which resulted in the mugshot above. In it, Markham best resembles what I would imagine Floyd from True Romance would look like if he started eating meth-filled donuts in 1993 and never stopped.

Sadly, after seeing Markham’s latest mugshot, it looks like the glorious, sun-soaked days of Surfer Dave up there (also, here) have come and gone…

(“Let me guess, star QB of your high school football team?”)

Compare this with Rory’s UFC profile picture.

Though not officially listed as “retired,” Markham has not competed in MMA since being released from the UFC following his first round TKO loss to Nate Diaz at UFC 111. While we knew that competing at 170 pounds nearly killed him on multiple occasions, it sure seemed to fit his frame a little better than the 200+ he’s sporting nowadays.

Theory: Rory Markham has appeared and/or done stunts in 4 different “Hollywood” movies: The Death and Life of Bobby Z (see instead, The Story of Ricky), The Experiment (saw it, suuuucked), Setup (BRUCE WILLY IS MY SHIT!) and Alex Cross (otherwise known as the Tyler Perry vehicle that our buddies at Filmdrunk said, “Makes Taken 2 look like Taken.”). The Experiment starred Adrien Brody, who was once rumored to be receiving a major role alongside Val Kilmer in the long-delayed Dracula film The Last Voyage of Demeter. You see the connection, right? At some point, Markham was introduced Kilmer’s dietitian, and brother, that is not a decision you can just back out on. You turn in your treadmill and dumbbells on Day 1 and he makes you a straight-to-DVD star. That’s the deal.

-J. Jones


  1. Fried Taco Says:

    Fri, 07/26/13 - 02:31

    Tis sad, I thought Rory had good potential as a fighter.
  2. CungwantsCookies Says:

    Fri, 07/26/13 - 02:44

    well that inflated quickly.
  3. hespecful Says:

    Fri, 07/26/13 - 02:45

    I'll always remember him as one of the few reasons to watch IFL.
  4. The12ozCurls Says:

    Fri, 07/26/13 - 03:12

    "meth-filled donuts" Is that a Cronut? I'm a west-coaster. Enlighten me.
  5. Mr_Misanthropy Says:

    Fri, 07/26/13 - 05:38

    @ 120z. Pretty sure they used to sell the cronut (and its cousin the methple bar) at Voodoo Donuts but they had to drop them about the same time they were forced to drop the NyQuil glazed donut.
  6. danomite Says:

    Fri, 07/26/13 - 07:27

    Are we sure that's Rory Markham and not some alien bug in a Rory Markham suit?
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    Sat, 07/27/13 - 09:14

    Someone needs to introduce this guy to Diamond Dallas Page
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