MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Good News, Jason Miller is Now Free to Wreak Havoc in a Town Near You


(Today, the Modern Methodist Church of Southern Viejo. Tommorow, THE WORLD.)

After spending a two-day stint in Orange County jail, complete with psychological evaluations and all, it appears that Jason “Mayhem” Miller has been released after posting the required $20,000 bail earlier today.

Living up to his nickname, Miller was responsible for what will likely become one of the most notorious arrests in MMA History when he was found naked inside a Mission Viejo church Tuesday, which he had both vandalized and sprayed with a fire extinguisher. Oddly enough, officers on the scene stated that Miller seemed to be completely coherent when he was discovered, and are currently awaiting a toxicology report to determine if he was under any mind altering substances at the time the crime was committed. Given the quick turnaround time, we’d guess that he was either on hippie crack or an epic dosage of whip-its.

Dana White, a.k.a the man who broke Mayhem’s heart and unknowingly caused all of this, has yet to comment on Miller’s arrest. Luckily, we’ve done it for him:

I tell you, this f*cking guy, with his f*cking f*ggy pink boas and boom boxes and dance moves and Japanese schoolgirls. He really needs a f*cking clue. It’s bad enough that he lost to f*cking Launchpad McQuack in his last performance, but now he goes out and pulls this sh*t. That’s all I gotta say, except f*ck you, f*ck Josh Gross, and f*ck Fedor. Dana out!

Word has it Mayhem is now accepting requests for birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, art gallery openings, or whatever event you would be willing to shuttle him to through his Facebook page. We’re not sure what it is he will do once he gets there, but you can rest assured that it will not be boring.

-J. Jones

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BigWhiskey- August 18, 2012 at 8:12 am
I really hope I'm wrong about this, but you're actually posting a fake quote by Dana White? Didn't the last incident give you any pause? I like the website and I hope nothing comes of it but it's like watching you play chicken with semi-trucks on an interstate.
rhmmma- August 17, 2012 at 3:44 pm
Maybe he should try a career in mixed martial arts. Nothing else seems to be working out for him.
Mr_Misanthropy- August 17, 2012 at 3:26 pm
He should quit this naked biblical prophet kick and see if he can get a gig making Allstate commercials.
rentsamson- August 17, 2012 at 10:20 am
Mayhem is incredibly resilient and self-effacing with natural humor. He will rise from the ashes of this debacle, Phoenix-like. He has done it before any number of times, and he will do it again. Never underestimate his ability to weather adversity, and even thrive in it -- even adversity of his own dumb creation!
cttouch212- August 16, 2012 at 4:29 pm
I love the kid to death but the problem is he got a taste of the bright lights and as they dim he's afraid to be left in the shadows. He should cut the shit work on his fight game and work his way back up the ladder. Pulling stunts like this are going to land him on mma sites, but for all the wrong reasons.
MorningwoodII- August 16, 2012 at 2:49 pm
*coherent* is relative. Like his coherence of being relevant to a sport or fan base.
Grandmas Nutmeg- August 16, 2012 at 1:44 pm
I bet his followup career is gonna be like the 2 hicks from Supernatural. He'll get high on bath salts, imagine some church is under attack by demons that can only be killed by fire extinguisher foam, salt, and acts of vandalism(witchcraft symbols).
Alan K- August 16, 2012 at 1:33 pm
All you need to add to that quote is a "f*ck Mazzagatti" and it'd be totally believable.
DanFitPro- August 16, 2012 at 1:29 pm
Like Big Country said, Dana, you're not a fighter! Stop talking sh*t to people who can club you like a baby seal. Dana aka Shit-Talk MacGee
rentsamson- August 17, 2012 at 10:26 am
Dana needs to realize that he is not a pundit or a sports commentator, but rather he is the CEO of a large corporation, and the head of a major professional sports organization. He needs to take the high road and pattern himself after the commissioners of the major league sports or the NCAA, and stop talking trash and acting like a wannabe celebrity. It's all been downhill since he got on TUF and told Joe Stevenson, "Do you wanna be a f*cking fighter?" He needs to get off Twitter, and clean up and shut up his big mouth, and stick to the business he is supposed to be running.
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