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Got a Question For Shane Carwin? He’s All Ears (and Enormous Fists)

(‘What’s my all-time favorite war? That’s your question? Come on, man. Franco-Prussian, obviously. No contest.’)

Remember a few weeks ago when we made a bet with Shane Carwin involving the University of Montana/Western State football game?  The deal was, if Western won we had to write an article about all the ways Carwin is better than us (for example, there’s this), but if they lost he had to give us an exclusive interview.  Well, Western didn’t just lose.  They got blown out 38-0.  Now it’s time for us to collect.

But rather than simply pestering Carwin with the usual questions about his preparation for Brock Lesnar and his alma mater’s complete inability to convert on third down, we decided to open the floor to you, our readers, and see what you’d like to ask the big man.  Before submitting your question for Carwin in the comments below, you might want to start by asking yourself:

1) Would I still ask him this if we were alone in a windowless room together?
2) Does anyone other than me actually care about the answer to this question?
3) Did I accidentally leave my caps lock button on?  For the last several months?

Once you’ve done that, you’re ready to put a question to the Engineer.  Go ‘head, knock yourself out.  We’ll look them over and choose the ones we like best for inclusion in the interview.  Check back later in the week to see if your question made the cut, as well as to find out exactly what Carwin thinks of your query.  Think of this as your chance to atone for failing to come up with a nickname that he liked.

Cagepotato Comments

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gutstheberserker- September 30, 2009 at 12:09 pm
1. Does a little bit of sugar help the medicine go down?

2. Can you beat Chuck Norris?

3. Who has more hippies -- Colorado or California?

4. Have you ever considered using your mechanical engineering degree to create bionic implants that would enhance your fighting abilities? Do you think cyborgs will be banned from the Octagon?

5. Why doesn't Spider-Man study jiu jitsu?

6. The preferred t-shirt for men who cry in their sleep is Affliction or Silver Star? Follow-up: do you prefer flaming skulls or skulls with wings on your t-shirts?

7. What is the black smoke monster on Lost?

8. Low-fat Vanilla Wafers or low-fat Honey Grahams?

9. Does the carpet match the drapes?

10. When I turn right in my car and the air-condition is on, I lose power and can get almost no acceleration. How do I fix it?
El Famous Burrito- September 30, 2009 at 6:20 am
I thought of a few more questions in an alcoholic haze last night. Luckily, I had the good sense to write a few down:

1) There is a UFC announcer (whose name rhymes with Moe Hogan) who seems to believe that the "fist-raised" pose in a picture taken with a fighter is ridiculous and possibly gay. What are your thoughts on this? Can you offer any alternatives?

2) Have you contemplated doing The Ickey Shuffle as your victory dance, complete with spikinig a Bud Light on an unconscious Brock Lesnar?

3) What would it take to get you to wear a Snuggie with the CagePotato logo during your walk to The Octagon? Money? Sex? Drugs? Power?

4) Given how awesome Conan the Barbarian was, were you disappointed by the sequel, Conan the Destroyer?

5) Is there ever a moment on fight night where you think that somewhere, there is a out-of-control, degenerate gambler who is literally betting his life on you pulling out the victory?

6) Is there any way you can acknowledge my existence without it seeming like a desparate bid for attention on my part?

dude- September 29, 2009 at 11:13 pm
Shane, after you crush Lesnar, are you gonna lay on his wife?
M1-Grovel- September 29, 2009 at 10:43 pm
Congrats on the bet. Sounds like he may have done it anyway. Either that or he should never bet money on anything, anytime anywhere. Here are some that i would find interesting. Pick what u want if any


None of your fights have made it past the first half of the opening round. Do you have the stamina to go a full 5 rounds?

How many street fights have you gotten in? What were they over, and what was the outcome?

Ever lose in a street fight ever? (from little kid to adult)

Do your day job coworkers treat you any differently now that you're famous?

Do you get hit on more now that you're famous? (yes yes, we know you're in love with your wife, just answer the question Hyundai fist)

Do you buy work clothes off the rack?

The night you win a major fight, is that the best sex ever?

Do you refrain from it before fights?

Do you ever incorporate wrestling / mma moves during "happy fun time?"

Ever dream of combat and accidentally grab/hit, etc, your wife in your sleep?

Do you spank your kid ever when the situation calls for it? If so with your whole hand? And if hand, do they do the move where they're trying to block your hits? If so do you inwardly chuckle because their hand is 1/1000th the size of yours?

Do you say "this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you?" If so, with a straight face?

Has your kid ever fainted when seeing an angry Shane Carwin with smoke in his ears coming full steam?

Here's the scenario: Your 14 year old daughter brings home a date. some 16 year old. how will you treat the guy, will you work the intimidation angle for all it's worth?

What is your biggest tactical concern/fear with Brock?

831 Son- September 29, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Do you think Anderson Silva is a God?

Have you ever heard of Rogaine?

Do you also believe that women and Asians are the worst drivers in the world?

Whats up with the dumb tattoo on your right arm? Were you drunk?

Did you know that I just took a fat shit?

Did you lose your virginity to a fat chick?

Hey Carwin, FUCK YOU!! (?)
Uberhack- September 29, 2009 at 11:07 am
Shane, have you ever calculated the force of one of your punches?
Uberhack- September 29, 2009 at 10:32 am
@ steampunk22,
I don't think cardio is going to be a problem for Carwin. He trains in Colorado at a minimum of 4.5K ft. Training at altitude does wonders for your gas.
EzMoNeY- September 29, 2009 at 10:20 am
Dear Shane, i was wondering, if in the case that you win your fight against Brock lesnar, what type of these 3 ufc champions are you going to be? 1 are you going to shanghia the heavyweight division and dodge contenders by demanding out of your weight class/out of promotion matchups that will never happen and barely fight once a year, 2 after gaining some swagger/notoriety/marketability, will you say that the UFC doesnt respect (aka pay) you enough and pursue an acting career outside of fighting and really fuck over your fanbase, or 3 will you clean out your division after 2 or 3 title defense and leave no more interesting contenders for you to face for the foreseeable future. of these 3 types of UFC champs, which will you be?
DAN THE VIKING- September 29, 2009 at 10:17 am
Who is your Daddy and what does he do?
DAN THE VIKING- September 29, 2009 at 10:16 am
Where do you get off?
DAN THE VIKING- September 29, 2009 at 10:15 am
Who do you think you are?
Zescape- September 29, 2009 at 10:02 am
Mr Carwin,
Is fist-bumping a sore subject with you? I mean, have you ever accidently knocked anyone over trying to give them a gentle fist-bump?
Barc- September 29, 2009 at 9:39 am
I've been itching at one for a while...
Brocks friends have his NFL training camp records to stand by when they claim that he's more athletic than you. Do you have the same records? What's your time in the 40? What's your vertical? When you do a pushup, are you pushing yourself up or the world down?
BackbaconBilly- September 29, 2009 at 9:25 am
LMAO, that was gold @ Da Spied Her

If you were the UFC H.C and the next 2 guys in line were Brock and Fedor, who would you rather fight & why?
J-Dog- September 29, 2009 at 9:22 am
Mr. Carwin,
When you are done beating up Mr. Chestnar, will you please belittle him by mocking his last post fight interview with a sarcastic tongue-in-cheek comment about how you are going to drink the sponsor's beer after the fight? That would be priceless. Then you could follow it up with saying you are going to give your wife a big hug or something.

Please try not to get the HIV from Brock's exposed cock chest while you are beating him silly.
Da Spied Her- September 29, 2009 at 9:07 am
Will you give Brock a rematch as your first title defense?

Oh, and Killdozer, the only time I've declared first is when I did your mom when she was 15.
Nut Puncher 9000- September 29, 2009 at 8:45 am
I understand the logic behind choosing a mental career over a physical one. I respect the desire to have priorities above fighting (Family, and being the Man in the house so to speak) I get it. With that said, I also know that you get the fact that your physical career is on a clock. With a title opportunity looming, and understanding the additional pressures that a UFC champion will face, should you beat Brock, do you still believe that it will be possible to continue an Engineering career while performing as a Champion should? I guess what I am trying to say is do you feel it would be fair to the position of Champion to not dedicate yourself fully to MMA, even temporarily, in the pursuit of the best you can be?
Nanotyranus- September 29, 2009 at 8:39 am
Mr. Carwin, I know that you like to train near your family, Jackson and Grudge both being great teams, but have you ever thought about expanding your training camps to include other trainers? If so whom would you like to train with?

Thank you.
Randle McMurphy- September 29, 2009 at 6:38 am
Do you avoid putting your kielbasa fingers in a gal so she isn't let down with the penie?
gutstheberserker- September 29, 2009 at 6:35 am
Questions for Shane:

1. Arianny, Logan or Natasha?

2. Neoconservatism: dead or just getting started?

3. Do you think we should ban the consumption of Chilean Sea Bass?

4. Shane, your hands are big -- do you have a specially made keyboard?

5. Would you ban competitors that test positive for herpes?

6. Shane, you studied mechanical engineering. Can you explain Particle Image Velocimetry to me? -- I just don't get it.
Randle McMurphy- September 29, 2009 at 6:33 am
Does the thin Denver air create an unusual autoerotic asphyxiation experience?
El Famous Burrito- September 29, 2009 at 6:31 am
Dear Mr. Carwin,

I can't help but notice your giant hands. Have you ever considered getting a Jitterbug phone?

Yours Truly,

El Famous Burrito
Fedor vs. Bas- September 29, 2009 at 6:21 am

Would you be in favor of a 235lb division?

Excluding Heavyweights, what division do you find most exciting to watch?

Excluding HW's which division do you find most highly contested?

Do you believe in pound for pound rankings, and if so, who would you include on the top of the list?

Would you fight Anderson Silva?
AussieJosh- September 29, 2009 at 3:51 am
Shane i dont like brock, but have you been praticing your defence for if brock sits on top of you and practices his masterbation punches (hammer fists) on to your face?
Brock needs to be stoped! I say KO'ed so bad that he never wants to return to the cage!
knoname321- September 29, 2009 at 12:14 am
If your upcoming fight with Brock Lesnar goes to the ground and you find yourself unfortunately under Brock is it safe to ASSume you're a "Power Bottom"?

If you could train with any fighter in any of the MMA organizations who would it be?

Are there any fighters in the UFC heavy weight division that are strong competition for you?

How do you feel about TagTeam MMA? Would you ever consider a 2 VS 2 MMA match? Personally I think it's the future of MMA.

Best of Luck. WAR CARWIN!!!