(If this fence wasn’t here, Nick Diaz would be in *trouble.* Pic Props: ProMMANow)

It started out funny, quickly got silly and the latest news out of the Jason “Mayhem” Miller vs. Nick Diaz tiff just makes us feel tired and sad and a little bit annoyed. The weirdly unclickable GracieFighter.com – which according to its own time sigs has been updating its news section about once a month since Jake Shields beat Martin Kampmann back in October – posted an update on Sunday so spinny that it reads like an out-of-work Republican political strategist wrote it after a couple cocktails. Essentially the website is taking it upon itself to call off any potential fight between Diaz and Miller, which – as far we knew – wasn’t happening anyway. It’s probably best if we just let you read it in its entirety but don’t worry, the Gracie camp wrote it, so it’s pretty short.

First off, dig the headline: “‘Mayhem’ Miller Opts Out of Diaz Fight.” Nice, playa. Lay the blame elsewhere while simultaneously implying there was anything to “opt out” of in the first place. Looks like someone was paying attention during Introduction to Debate and Rhetoric class. Here’s the rest, fully sic’d for numerous style errors:

“Jason "Mayhem" Miller has opted to not take a fight with Nick Diaz in January at a catchweight of 178lbs,” the statement reads. “Despite having previously fought at the 170lbs weight limit, Miller now says that he is unwilling to meet at 178 and instead wants Strikeforce’s Welterweight Champion to move up to middleweight to fight him. Miller has stated he would be willing to lose 2 pounds and fight at 183lbs. As of yet Miller has defeated none of the top Strikeforce contenders but did win a fight on MTV’s Bully Beatdown show. Strikeforce will now be searching for a new opponent for Diaz for their January card.”

Oh, snap! “Bully Breatdown” reference?!? Zing! Also, how rad is it that this reads as if GracieFighter is releasing a statement on behalf of Mayhem Miller? Totally rad.

In a nutshell the Gracie camp is accusing Miller of doing what Miller has been accusing Diaz of doing for weeks: refusing to meet him at a catchweight. Look, we’re not exactly sure who’s to blame here and anymore we don’t really give a shit. We would’ve been pumped about this fight in July or even October, but at this point our attitude is pretty much: Fuck it. It’s clear that both guys – who largely trade on the gimmick of being “craaazy fighters” who are capable of anything – are doing themselves a disservice here with all this nitpicking and backbiting.

If either had any intention of actually fighting, we’re pretty sure they could find a weight agreeable to both parties. As of right now, they’ve become those two guys at the bar who are just posturing and getting in each other’s faces about who bumped into who, but everybody watching knows they aren’t really going to do anything about it. In the wake of this and on behalf of MMA fans everywhere, please forgive us for paraphrasing one of Al Pacino’s screamiest roles when we say: Either fight each other, or stop wasting our motherfucking time.