Thanks to everybody who entered this week’s caption contest — even those of you who referred to "General Custer" as "General Custard." After sifting through 280 of your entries, we’ve pulled out the two that we think are most worthy of winning a signed copy of Jackson’s Mixed Martial Arts: The Ground Game, in stores now. As usual, there are a bunch of captions that were almost good enough. Let’s take a look at those first…
Honorable Mentions (aka, "The First Losers"):
FlashinLeather: This picture was taken just prior to Fry going on a three fight win streak
HabitualLineStepper: these girls are to hooters waitresses as Don Frye is to MMA commentator
cdubious: If Don had a bald eagle on his shoulder this would be the most American photo ever taken.
LordCoSaX Says: "I hope my mustache is hiding my boner…Just act natural Don, maybe a wife beating joke or two…fuck, that made it worse."
Jesus Frijoles: Taken just before Don Frye won the Shark Fights open weight Donkey punch tournament.
Millertime84: Todays Special: 3 Chickenheads Fryed to Perfection
"Ok, Don, you got her left arm isolated and your right hand posted on her hip. You got one good shot. Now, when she spies that camera, she’s gone take a deep breath, arch her back and smile all pretty-like, and she’ll freeze for just a split second. Happens ever time. Now, when you see that flash, you just slide that right hand up there are get you a handful. C’mon, Don, have i ever led you astray?"
"Actually, Moustache, you might have steered me wrong with the Takayama fight…"
"Don, we’re goddamn legends after that fight, so you’re welcome. That chinawoman is gettin ready to snap the picture. Go ahead and check the oil on Ms Pepe LePew with your left hand real quick. Maybe she’ll perk up."
"I love you, Moustache."
"I love you too, Don."
[Ed. note: "chinawoman"? Jesus Christ, ReX. Seriously.]
Admiral Allah Ackbar: Pictured: Frye Pummeling for an underboob.
gazwinder: as the Camera flashed and Sam Beckett realised where he was, he had a profound feeling that there was noone he could help in this time, that this may be his last leap, and he would be stuck in this moustached body for eternity..
Dojima: These days for Don Frye, three 30 minute slobber-knockers in one night means a WHOLE different thing.
Danomite: Well, if I ever find myself in Amarillo, at least I’ll know that their Hooters sucks.
UnicornBoner: Suddenly, the idea of drinking my own piss and hanging out with my dad at some shanty in Japan doesn’t sound so bad.
PurplePickle: "Which one of you ladies wants to blow a goddamned legend?"
And Now, the Actual Winners:
punchguyinface: What do you mean I have no experience as a broadcaster… I’ve been putting broads into casts for years!
ArmFarmer: I wish I could tell you that the girls fought the good fight, and the Frye let them be. I wish I could tell you that – but hooters is no fairy-tale world. They never said who did it, but we all knew. Things went on like that for a while – hooters life consists of routine, and then more routine. Every so often, the girls would show up with fresh bruises. The Frye kept at them – sometimes they were able to distract him with wings and beer and that little twirly stool thing they do, sometimes not. And that’s how it went for the girls – that was their routine. I do believe those first two years were the worst for them, and I also believe that if things had gone on that way, this place would have got the best of them…
Just to clarify, we picked ArmFarmer because out of all the captions submitted, his was the only one to make reference to that little twirly stool thing they do. Congrats, guys! Please send your name and address to firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll get the book out to you right away. As for the rest of you, The Ground Game is worth checking out even if you have to pay for it. Give it a look, and thanks again to Victory Belt for hooking us up!