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‘The Ground Game’ Caption Contest: And the Winners Are…

(Images courtesy of Esther Lin/Shark Fights, Victory Belt)

Thanks to everybody who entered this week’s caption contest — even those of you who referred to "General Custer" as "General Custard." After sifting through 280 of your entries, we’ve pulled out the two that we think are most worthy of winning a signed copy of Jackson’s Mixed Martial Arts: The Ground Game, in stores now. As usual, there are a bunch of captions that were almost good enough. Let’s take a look at those first… 

Honorable Mentions (aka, "The First Losers"):

FlashinLeather: This picture was taken just prior to Fry going on a three fight win streak

HabitualLineStepper: these girls are to hooters waitresses as Don Frye is to MMA commentator

cdubious: If Don had a bald eagle on his shoulder this would be the most American photo ever taken.

LordCoSaX Says: "I hope my mustache is hiding my boner…Just act natural Don, maybe a wife beating joke or two…fuck, that made it worse."

Jesus Frijoles: Taken just before Don Frye won the Shark Fights open weight Donkey punch tournament.

Millertime84: Todays Special: 3 Chickenheads Fryed to Perfection

"Ok, Don, you got her left arm isolated and your right hand posted on her hip. You got one good shot. Now, when she spies that camera, she’s gone take a deep breath, arch her back and smile all pretty-like, and she’ll freeze for just a split second. Happens ever time. Now, when you see that flash, you just slide that right hand up there are get you a handful. C’mon, Don, have i ever led you astray?"

"Actually, Moustache, you might have steered me wrong with the Takayama fight…"

"Don, we’re goddamn legends after that fight, so you’re welcome. That chinawoman is gettin ready to snap the picture. Go ahead and check the oil on Ms Pepe LePew with your left hand real quick. Maybe she’ll perk up."

"I love you, Moustache."

"I love you too, Don."

[Ed. note: "chinawoman"? Jesus Christ, ReX. Seriously.]

Admiral Allah Ackbar: Pictured: Frye Pummeling for an underboob.

gazwinder: as the Camera flashed and Sam Beckett realised where he was, he had a profound feeling that there was noone he could help in this time, that this may be his last leap, and he would be stuck in this moustached body for eternity..

Dojima: These days for Don Frye, three 30 minute slobber-knockers in one night means a WHOLE different thing.

Danomite: Well, if I ever find myself in Amarillo, at least I’ll know that their Hooters sucks.

UnicornBoner: Suddenly, the idea of drinking my own piss and hanging out with my dad at some shanty in Japan doesn’t sound so bad.

PurplePickle: "Which one of you ladies wants to blow a goddamned legend?"

And Now, the Actual Winners:

punchguyinface: What do you mean I have no experience as a broadcaster… I’ve been putting broads into casts for years!

ArmFarmer: I wish I could tell you that the girls fought the good fight, and the Frye let them be. I wish I could tell you that – but hooters is no fairy-tale world. They never said who did it, but we all knew. Things went on like that for a while – hooters life consists of routine, and then more routine. Every so often, the girls would show up with fresh bruises. The Frye kept at them – sometimes they were able to distract him with wings and beer and that little twirly stool thing they do, sometimes not. And that’s how it went for the girls – that was their routine. I do believe those first two years were the worst for them, and I also believe that if things had gone on that way, this place would have got the best of them…

Just to clarify, we picked ArmFarmer because out of all the captions submitted, his was the only one to make reference to that little twirly stool thing they do. Congrats, guys! Please send your name and address to and we’ll get the book out to you right away. As for the rest of you, The Ground Game is worth checking out even if you have to pay for it. Give it a look, and thanks again to Victory Belt for hooking us up!

Cagepotato Comments

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Socal Tot- September 17, 2010 at 6:48 pm
Hooters: Now offering mustache rides.
DiazBrotherFromAnotherMother- September 17, 2010 at 6:21 pm
also i thought this was a CAPTION contest, not best short story. so again flashinleather got robbed
kingsac- September 17, 2010 at 2:34 pm
Thanks PortlandMMA! I thought it would be funnier to call him Custard, you know since it's Fry.......... at least that's my excuse. Truth is I thought it was Custard. Come on, Little Big Horn....I was robbed.
Biffmiester- September 17, 2010 at 7:44 am
Touché, Tannen. You're pretty alright by me.
Biff Tannen- September 17, 2010 at 5:39 am
Uh, McFly, hello!?! Is anybody in there? I may not have been registered with the nation, but I've been a Biff since before Don's mustache grew a body on it.
Mr_Misanthropy- September 17, 2010 at 1:13 am
Sick boner.
UnicornBoner- September 16, 2010 at 9:20 pm
@armfarm - thanks bro. You understand the awesomeness that is unicornboner! Pure magic. I wasn't going to go with some weak handle like seattlemma or some garbage.
This was my first time posting on this site, because I wanted the Jackson book, and I think any reference to hammering piss like it's a salty Gatorade is downright hilarious.
Thanks for the honorable mention CP.

Just joking about (fillinyourcityhere)mma names.
Kimbos Bread- September 16, 2010 at 7:59 pm
I must say, every single one of those made me laugh.

Well done guys.
ArmFarmer- September 16, 2010 at 7:04 pm
They are hooters girls.. when you are hired for your looks people expect you to be hot. You are held to a higher standard. Same deal with Chandella. It doesn't mean 95% of us wouldn't bang them if we had the chance. And the other 5% is probably gay anyway.
TheHulkSmash- September 16, 2010 at 6:30 pm
Also yes, Flashinleather was robbed. He got that line up like 60 seconds after the image was posted too...
TheHulkSmash- September 16, 2010 at 6:29 pm
What's with everyone saying those girls are ugly? The one on the far right (our right) is pretty good lookin' IMO. Where do you people live that those girls are actually below average?
fatbellyfrank- September 16, 2010 at 6:15 pm
^ I beleive my boners are legendary, Mrs Fatbelly says their mythical
DiazBrotherFromAnotherMother- September 16, 2010 at 6:13 pm
Sprfghtfan- September 16, 2010 at 6:11 pm
Congrats guys. I can't believe I didn't even get honorable mention. Jezz what did I miss lol
ArmFarmer- September 16, 2010 at 5:46 pm

Sometimes variations of something else, although unoriginal, end up bieng more funny... see above.

UnicornBoner > Ghostboner.. even though Ghostboner was here first. A ghostboner is supernatural.. but a unicorn boner? That's straight up mythical.. that's a legendary boner.
steampunk22- September 16, 2010 at 4:42 pm
Ah dammit! I missed this whole contest, I didn't even catch the initial post. MIA indeed.

Also, @Ballkick, I've won several CP contests including a CP Horns shirt and a one year subscription to Fight! Magazine and I fully live in Canada. In fact, I live in a part of Canada that is FAR ASS away from Break HQ as well as Goldstein. Being north of the border doesn't really have anything to do with it, I'll attest to that.
b-ill- September 16, 2010 at 4:36 pm
If you think these ladys are nappy, you should have seen the caliber of diner skank he was bangin before the fight game.
DangadaDang- September 16, 2010 at 4:22 pm
Don Frye is the Quagmire of the MMA world
OneMorePunchFujita- September 16, 2010 at 4:17 pm
"So I had this big ugly Japanese bastard punching me in the face, right?" *whatd you do?* "Well... Donna-Joe... I'll tell you what I did!"
Bill Jackson- September 16, 2010 at 4:05 pm
The Quantum Leap reference made my day. Fuck, I love that show! Nice job, Gazwinder.
Charming Charlie- September 16, 2010 at 4:03 pm
It may be the presentation, but CP consistently lists the funniest captions in the honorable mentions and then gives the prizes to ones that are dread worthy. I hope next contest you list the winners first and then mention the first losers, so more research can be done.
the glza- September 16, 2010 at 3:46 pm

danomite, for sure.

and that twirly stool crap is the stupidest thing i've ever seen.
PortlandMMA- September 16, 2010 at 3:25 pm
Thats just a variation of ghostboners name its nothing special.
ArmFarmer- September 16, 2010 at 3:19 pm
For once I actually think every single one of these is funny.. except for the Machida reference cuz I'd much rather be surrounded by 3 mediocre skanks than be drinkin pee with my dad.. but the guy should still get a copy just for having the name "UnicornBoner".
PortlandMMA- September 16, 2010 at 3:15 pm
It takes a special kind of man to be intelligent enough to reference little big horn, while synonymously referring to the general as custard.