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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Here We Go Again…


(Photo courtesy of Arianny’s official website.  The rest of her Hawaii photos are, shall we say, bikini-tastic.)

While we wait patiently to hear just how many pay-per-views UFC 91 sold and whether it lived up to Dana White’s optimistic prediction of 1.2 million, White is already off and running with his next oversized claim.  This one,  not surprisingly, revolves around UFC 94’s B.J. Penn-Georges St. Pierre superfight:

"I’m just coming off a promotion where I got done saying it’s the biggest fight in UFC history in terms of most pay-per-view buys," White said. "I truly believe this fight has the potential to break that. BJ and Georges are heavyweights when it comes to star power."

Is this what we’re going to do every time now?  Has Dana White become a boxing promoter, calling every fight the biggest fight ever, until the next fight?  I realize he’s talking to a Honolulu paper so he has to say some of this stuff, but words mean things.

MMA Payout sees this as an opportunity for us to find out whether the sport of MMA (two established champions, both pound-for-pound greats, neither of whom have been in the WWE) sells as well as the “spectacle” of MMA (Brock Lesnar against that other guy).  You’d like to say that it does, but then again you’d also like to believe that the cute waitress is being so nice because she actually likes you and not just because she works in the service industry and her kids need new shoes.

If the UFC wants to capitalize on their first-rate main event at UFC 94 and turn that into record-breaking PPV numbers, the way to do it is by loading up on the undercard.  

One side effect of the internet age is that one-fight events now have considerably less drawing power.  No matter how vigilant Zuffa is about pulling videos of their fights off the internet – and they are – fans who are savvy enough will know that they can always catch the one fight they care about on one of the many video sites on Sunday morning.  But a whole event?  It’s just not as fun to watch fight after fight on your computer, even if you are the geekiest of geeks.

At the time of this writing, UFC 94 has two other fights on the official online fight card: Lyoto Machida vs. Thiago Silva (hardcore appeal, yes, but fans who know Machida also know what to expect from him), and Stephan Bonnar vs. Jon Jones (…are those crickets? how did crickets get in here?).   Even if it’s not on the website yet we can also expect to see Jon Fitch vs. Akihiro Gono, also known as the fight that almost never was.

You can judge for yourself whether that sounds like a record-breaker of a card or not.  While I wouldn’t miss Penn-GSP II for anything, not even the birth of another one of my illegitimate children who I won’t acknowledge as my own until Maury Povich confirms it, this is a rematch of a fight we’ve already seen.  I don’t recall the first meeting breaking a million, and that event had Mike Swick vs. Steve Vigneault (!) on it.  If that puppy can’t sell big, what can?

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Rumbler- November 25, 2008 at 3:24 pm
"tully Says:
Tue, 11/25/2008 - 14:52
when are we gonna see melvin guillard fight again? why not throw him on the undercard he's exciting and he needs some wins. put him against huerta or something that would be a great undercard fight."


You must be his coke dealer.

Rumbler- November 25, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Stephan Bonnar vs. Jon Jones- I see that the cagepotato writers have yet to see a Jon Jones fight....He is VERY exciting to watch and Bonnar is no slouch himself...This will be a great fight!

Lyoto Machida vs. Thiago Silva- You're a dip sh!t if you don't care for this fight...Thiago will hunt Lyoto down and knock his "elusive" azz out or get caught in the process, but trust me someone will be getting KTFO in brutal fashion.

Jon Fitch vs. Akihiro Gono- This fight will be more entertaining then most expect.

This under card is very interesting so far and cagepotato is ran by TUF NOOB's!!!!!
tully- November 25, 2008 at 2:52 pm
when are we gonna see melvin guillard fight again? why not throw him on the undercard he's exciting and he needs some wins. put him against huerta or something that would be a great undercard fight.
Anonymous- November 25, 2008 at 2:07 pm
ufc 92 is going to suck

Evans-Griffen is so-so at best
Nog-Mir=Lame
Wanderei-Rampage 2 fights I dont like

94 is stacked 3 best welterwieghts on the same card wooohoo
Silva-Machida is going to be awesome
Anonymous- November 25, 2008 at 12:13 pm
were her tits always that big?
SmashMouth- November 25, 2008 at 10:50 am
Dana White is a Pu$$y. He thinks he's an MMA fighter but he's just a bald-headed don king.
Idiot- November 25, 2008 at 10:39 am
What about Vinny asking for her number? Nice try though, Brazialian...
Anonymous- November 25, 2008 at 10:11 am
"If they mated, their kids would look more like BJ since everyone knows that cabbage patch is always the dominant gene"

Well played sir!
Pac-Man- November 25, 2008 at 9:56 am
Jorge = Engracado
Jorge Alonso-Smith- November 25, 2008 at 9:49 am
Anybody else besides me wonder why they always show shots of Arianny's ass when it's obvious she doesn't have one? You won't see any of the Brazilian fighters hitting on her, that's for sure!
pico-de-gallo- November 25, 2008 at 9:46 am
When I saw BJ in this pic, the first thing I thought was "pinhead". Then I realized it looks like he has a giant nipple on top of his head.
Farthammer- November 25, 2008 at 9:44 am
"Has Dana White become a boxing promoter"

You say that like it hasn't happened already. Look for Couture-Liddell 6 sometime in 2010, with the winner fighting the winner of Lesnar-Lashley.
mayhem420- November 25, 2008 at 9:42 am
UFC 92 is a much better card in terms of star power that card should do the most PPV numbers out of any UFC ppv. The only reason why it might not is due to allot of people just not being able to pay $50 for the fight. I know I dont have the $$ for it but I'll get it.... oh yes it will be mine. I'm also more excited for the Franklin/Hendo fight than the BJ/GSP one. I have already seen BJ/GSP and have wanted to see Rich/Hendo for a long ass time.
jesus frijoles- November 25, 2008 at 9:40 am
Thanks for the cabbage patch comment. That made coffee shoot out of my nose.
piemaster- November 25, 2008 at 9:37 am
Sweet! the old comment system stopped me from ever posting cos it was shitty.

Dana like to shoot the shit huh, this card will no way do over a mill. FACT!

However i cant fucking wait!

I get my ufc goodness the next day ;-) put it on dvd then watch it on my sweet tv
Old, Bald and Irish- November 25, 2008 at 9:36 am
Look, IMO, UFC 92 has a better card than UFC 94. 92 should get a million buys!

I agree that 94 has a weak card, although I'm really looking forward to seeing Bonnar back in the cage.

I think the reason the UFC keeps pulling these huge main event/weak undercard fights is because of the sheer number of events that they are putting on. The UFC is putting on five events from December to January. FIVE! That's forcing them to cycle through a lot of fighters pretty quickly. God forbid anyone gets hurt!

I'm pleased as punch to see lots of UFC events, I just hope the organization does not over-extend itself. It can't be cheap to put on that many events in that short a time period. The WWE can get away with it, but it took them a looooong time to get there!
B- November 25, 2008 at 9:34 am
Comment of the month candidate imo.
Sweep the Leg- November 25, 2008 at 9:34 am
Wait...you're saying that the nice girl at Hooters who brings me my wings DOESN'T actually like it when I stare at her boobs for three straight hours? At least I can take comfort in knowing that I am still helping, Sunshine, my local adult entertainer, to make it through business school.
B- November 25, 2008 at 9:34 am
Wait the UFC isn't porn...?
B- November 25, 2008 at 9:28 am
Creamy Ca roll that is
D-BO- November 25, 2008 at 9:22 am
Looks like she just got "Leid"!
Anonymous- November 25, 2008 at 9:21 am
Pac-man = Asshat
Creamy CA Roll- November 25, 2008 at 9:12 am
If they mated, their kids would look more like BJ since everyone knows that cabbage patch is always the dominant gene
Pac-Man- November 25, 2008 at 9:09 am
Damn. Why is Arianny such a huge deal with all you guys? I mean, I know she's hot but you all act like you've never seen a hot chick like this one... She's never even naked, and that leaves too much to the imagination. You do know you can use your computer to look at porn right? You don't have to settle for the occasional picture of a UFC card girl to surface on this site...
Fenix- November 25, 2008 at 8:57 am
"1. I was expecting a rumor about an Arianny/BJ Hookup from that picture and I am now very disappointed in my pants."

Funny, I had a sigh of relief...
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