(Okay, that’s just mean. Props: MMA TKO)

If you couldn’t tell by his decision to use Weird Al Yankovic’s "Fat" as his entrance music, or by his constant, unpaid endorsements of Burger King, Roy Nelson is trying to use his corpulent physique to his advantage.  In a way, that’s smart.  If people are going to think of him as the UFC’s fat guy, he might as well embrace it the way Tito Ortiz has embraced being the UFC’s guy who just says stuff. 

But at a certain point all the jokes about your own shortcomings cease to be charmingly self-deprecating and begin to be a little annoying.  For example, take "Big Country’s" description of himself as "the official UFC suckmeter."  As he told Steve Cofield, "If you can’t get past me, you’ll get that call from Joe Silva saying you can’t fight no more."

Obviously, Nelson doesn’t believe that.  He knows he doesn’t suck, just like he knows that there’s more to him than the size of his belly (though, like "Rampage" says, that is a big belly).  Nelson has decided, fairly recently, that instead of fighting the perception that he’s just a big, fat, sloppy dude, he’s going to go with it.  Like the kid with the lisp who thinks that no one else will make fun of him as long as long he makes fun of himself first, Nelson is trying to take the starch out of his detractors.  It’s understandable, but also cloying and kind of sad. 

Roy, we just want you to know that you don’t have to do this.  We like you.  We think you’re a good fighter and an entertaining guy to watch.  We don’t care about your horrible physique.  You may not be as ripped as Kimbo Slice, but you’re clearly in better fighting shape, as odd as that sounds.  You don’t have to put yourself down all the time. 

Here’s what we want you to do: sit down with a pen and paper and make a list of fifty things you like about yourself.  Then, every morning when you wake up, spend a few minutes standing in front of the bathroom mirror, repeating things from that list in an increasingly enthusiastic and affirming voice. 

Remember, no one else can love Roy until Roy loves Roy.