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Hey Roy Nelson, There Is Such a Thing as Too Self-Deprecating

(Okay, that’s just mean. Props: MMA TKO)

If you couldn’t tell by his decision to use Weird Al Yankovic’s "Fat" as his entrance music, or by his constant, unpaid endorsements of Burger King, Roy Nelson is trying to use his corpulent physique to his advantage.  In a way, that’s smart.  If people are going to think of him as the UFC’s fat guy, he might as well embrace it the way Tito Ortiz has embraced being the UFC’s guy who just says stuff

But at a certain point all the jokes about your own shortcomings cease to be charmingly self-deprecating and begin to be a little annoying.  For example, take "Big Country’s" description of himself as "the official UFC suckmeter."  As he told Steve Cofield, "If you can’t get past me, you’ll get that call from Joe Silva saying you can’t fight no more."

Obviously, Nelson doesn’t believe that.  He knows he doesn’t suck, just like he knows that there’s more to him than the size of his belly (though, like "Rampage" says, that is a big belly).  Nelson has decided, fairly recently, that instead of fighting the perception that he’s just a big, fat, sloppy dude, he’s going to go with it.  Like the kid with the lisp who thinks that no one else will make fun of him as long as long he makes fun of himself first, Nelson is trying to take the starch out of his detractors.  It’s understandable, but also cloying and kind of sad. 

Roy, we just want you to know that you don’t have to do this.  We like you.  We think you’re a good fighter and an entertaining guy to watch.  We don’t care about your horrible physique.  You may not be as ripped as Kimbo Slice, but you’re clearly in better fighting shape, as odd as that sounds.  You don’t have to put yourself down all the time. 

Here’s what we want you to do: sit down with a pen and paper and make a list of fifty things you like about yourself.  Then, every morning when you wake up, spend a few minutes standing in front of the bathroom mirror, repeating things from that list in an increasingly enthusiastic and affirming voice. 

Remember, no one else can love Roy until Roy loves Roy.

Cagepotato Comments

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rampageisgod- December 8, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Brought on by his consumption of beer.
rampageisgod- December 8, 2009 at 2:52 pm
It's not a beer gut. There is no such thing as a beer gut. It's his diet.
Sabado Gigante- December 8, 2009 at 2:52 pm
"I'm so fat, I smell like gravy!
Get away before I eat your baby!
I'm so fat I've got big boobies
From all the times I eat at Luby's!
I'm so fat I brush my teeth with sugar!
I'm so fat I even eat my boogers!"

-Fahtt Chester
Koeikan- December 8, 2009 at 2:29 pm
I'd guess he was getting paid by BK by the TUF finale...
MuyTye- December 8, 2009 at 11:46 am
I could be way off, but I didn't see Roy's comments as self deprecating... just smart assed:

At the beginning of the season Dana introduces Kimbo as the big "surprise" fighter in the house, and all season is billed as the Kimbo season. Even in the finale, Kimbo lost his first fight in the house, then backed out when he had a shot at another chance... but the finale promotion is still all about Kimbo.

Seems to me like he's just tired of people seeing him as the fat guy and underestimating him for it. Dude's proven he's at least a good fighter, if not great. So, when they ask him shit, he just gives a smart assed remark like "I'm the underdog man, just the fat guy." Why not, he doesn't get the credit he's earned... why, because he has a gut? I'd be pissed too.
NateGetsIrate- December 8, 2009 at 11:11 am
I just hope he doesn't go too far with the self-deprecating humor and become the next Chris Farley.
MyFightWiffaCheeto- December 8, 2009 at 11:08 am
If he hungout with Diego he'd be in the "Pound a Month club" playa.

Also, I don't care what he looks like as long as he whoops the ass of the winner of Pedro Martinez-Don Zimmer II.

Either of those assholes have it coming.
shitbag- December 8, 2009 at 11:01 am
Dude, was I the only one that thought it was total bullshit when Pam broke up with Roy? I mean, he really cared about her, fuck that Jim guy.
imakeutap- December 8, 2009 at 11:00 am
y r u guys tryin to figure him out. The guys is an awesome grappler and if u grapple u know strength does not play as big a factor as many would think, just having to deal with a blackbelt that knows where to put all that weight would be a nightmare even for someone like nog, i think nog would beat him but it would not be easy for nog, the guy has cardio, ive never seen him gas and thats what matters, ive seen chiseled athletes huffin wind after the first round so if he wants to keep eating cheeseburgers then i think he should keep goin
omunto- December 8, 2009 at 10:42 am
He should spend the day with Diego. No way someone could do that and walk out talking shit about themselves. Kill themselves maybe... but they'd still be screaming YES! YES! YES!
Richard Fitzentite- December 8, 2009 at 10:24 am
Can't really comprehend why he wouldn't want to lose like maybe 25 lbs? It's not like there is an ACTUAL advantage to being that fat. He would be just as strong without the belly, and he would be able to stay out of the way of the jab if he were lighter on his feet. How hard would it be for him to lose some weight? Eat 4000 calories instead of 5000? His Basal Metabolic Rate is 2500 calories. That is how many calories it takes for him to maintain that weight (265) while doing absolutley, only sleeping.

Screw the Burger King Sponsorship. Call Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem, 24hr Fitness, Subway, Kangen Water....
steampunk22- December 8, 2009 at 10:18 am

I almost spit coffee all over my macbook. Thats priceless!


I noticed that too lol. I check MMATKO pretty much every day, CP's got them on like 3 hr delay lol. I can almost predict it now.
steampunk22- December 8, 2009 at 10:15 am
@Lunk Yeah I was thinking booze too, I'm thinking straight beer gut.


Mostly, my comment is based on what I believe to be his impending failure when it comes to hanging with the big boys in the HW division. Being a fatass is great for the IFL and great for this season of TUF ( season stocked with mediocre fighters and ex nflers) but that doesnt mean it is a good idea, and those arent exactly the toughest opponents. I think that Nelson could end up as a top 10 fighter, but not in the shape that he is in, at best he could expect to be a gatekeeper into the top 10, and that sucks that the only reason for that will be laziness. THAT is my complaint. I want to see him do well, and it seems like he's giving himself an unnecessary handicap.

One absolutely cannot make the argument that he wouldn't be better off with 30lbs less fat and 30lbs more muscle. Especially when he has shown that he can be at that weight. Yeah he was younger, but he's still young now. I just don't get why he doesn't give a shit.
GetUpAndKill- December 8, 2009 at 10:14 am
Using MMATKO for all your articles today CP?
youngblood- December 8, 2009 at 10:07 am

the answer to the paradox, from Wikipedia "The BK Stacker was first introduced in the summer of 2006." Although it had been in earlier test makets since late 2003. Originally slated to be called the "Big Country Burger" (the bigger brother to the rodeo cheese burger) Roy was set to become the spokesperson for the new sandwich, a modern day 'Grimis' used by a much different fast food venture. During iniatial taste trials, Roy was brought in to give his thoughts on a new sauce to be used to enhance the flavor of the flame broiled burger. Sadly, it was found to have an addictive level 4 type narcotic as a secret ingredient and Roy was found on the 3rd day of the trial 25 pounds heavier and drinking the sauce from a 5 gallon bucket.

Being held to secrecy and not allowed to talk about the ordeal in a negative manner due to contract restrictions, Roy's repeated talk of burger king is not him looking for a sponsership, but reminding B.K. of what they did to him, and how they destroyed his manly physical form, and almost derailed his career. If only he could have resisted the sauce.
831 Son- December 8, 2009 at 10:02 am
That comparison is straight retarded too anyway. Doesn't even make sense.
831 Son- December 8, 2009 at 10:00 am
Anderson Silva said he doesn't want out soon anymore.. That was like a year ago Lunk.
skeletor- December 8, 2009 at 9:58 am
Between Roy, Forrest, and Amir this shit is getting old. Yeah I get it you think you are a shitty fighter, you think you're fat, get over it. If you really think you're that bad then please quit and save me from paying fifty fucking dollars on a card with your self admitted waste of a human on it.
Thatsozay- December 8, 2009 at 9:56 am
He obviously thinks he's in good enough shape to fight in the big leagues cuz that's exactly where he's at. Your refering to videos tthat are 6-8 yrs old, six years ago bj Penn wasn't a whiney bitch and overeem was a scronny 185er, things change son. He whooped everyone he faced on tuf and the finale so what are you complaining about?
fACE7biter- December 8, 2009 at 9:55 am
I was just thinking the same thing after the TUF Finale. Roy is starting to overdo the whole self deprecation thing. Rubbing his belly after he won was funny, but then again stating that he has to go get some Burger King, then rubbing his belly on the trophy was a little much. This act is going to start getting real old, real fast. I still love the guy though. I don't give a fuck what anyone says, this is one of the smartest men in MMA, both in how he figures his opponents out, and how he markets himself.
Lunk- December 8, 2009 at 9:50 am
The guys a seasoned vet whos been around the block. He just doesnt give a fuck. Training like that must suck. Anderson Silva wants out. I think Roy just lost the ability to give a shit after awhile. Also, a belly like that when you presumably train pretty hard... I think alcohol plays a factor.
steampunk22- December 8, 2009 at 9:35 am
You know what is actually kind of fucked about all this? In the last few months, a bunch of old Nelson videos have been showing up, especially form his grappling contest days, against Mir against Sanchez (Yes Diego used to be a little bigger) and Nelson used to be in pretty good shape. He was basically the same size, just minus the gut, and the guy looked awesome as a grappler and BJJ style fighter. What the hell Roy? This is the part that I think is fucked, like, the guy has obviously been in in shape in his fighting career, its not like he's been a fat ass since junior high and never dropped the weight. He was RECENTLY in shape. Like, video from 2001-2003 Abu Dhabi Grapppling Championships show that this motherfucker gave a shit at some point, and I really wanna know what happened.

I guess I just have a hard time believing that it is in his best interest to be this much of a fat ass, when he clearly is able to be in better shape, and has recently BEEN in that shape. Just can't shake those late night Burger King runs with Diaz or what? Whats the deal Roy! You coulda been a contender!

Anyone got the answer to this cheeseburger paradox, because I really wanna know....

Maybe a ticket to the Big Show will motivate him or something now.
Boo- December 8, 2009 at 9:34 am
Cut his ass open and he'll bleed chocolate milk.
BigCountrysCholesterol- December 8, 2009 at 9:31 am
I'm good enough, I'm fat enough, and doggonit, Dana doesn't like me.
GEE-yuh-TEEN- December 8, 2009 at 9:29 am
He's just big-boned...