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Holy Sh*t, Tito Ortiz’s New Training Compound is Off the Chain, Yo [VIDEO]

(Rule #1 Tito: ALWAYS check for an Adam’s apple before you make your move.) 

When we first heard that former UFC lightweight champion Tito Ortiz had purchased Oscar De La Hoya’s training compound, with only one fight left in his career, mind you, we just wrote it off as the kind of business decision that got him fired by Donald Trump. But if you know anything about “The People’s Champ,” you know that the guy more than makes up for his interview skills with business savvy. We may not be sure of the exact figure Tito dropped on this Big Bear Lake-side abode, but you only need to catch a glimpse of the place to realize it was worth it.

Fair warning: the euphoric feeling you will receive as the incredibly gorgeous, CagePotato-loving Corissa Furr leads you around this rustic villa on the latest episode of Ultimate Insider will immediately be followed by the crushing realization that you will NEVER live in a place so nice no matter how hard you try.

First off, was anyone aware that Ortiz and Jenna Jameson were back together? The last we remember, these two were going at it on Twitter like a pair of attention-whoring celebutants. Secondly, what in holy Hell has happened to Jenna Jameson’s face? It looks like some Tijuana back alley surgeon stretched a piece of bologna over Gwyneth Paltrow’s elbow for Christ’s sake. That is not the same woman that captured America’s penises hearts with her acting talents just under a decade ago.

As if the house wasn’t enough to make you turn green with envy, one look at Ortiz’s car collection might just make you curse the heavens above for giving you the body structure and fighting ability of a thirteen year old girl. Not that we could relate, because the CP staff is built like the O’Doyle family and treats the rest of the MMA world as such. But anyway, a Rolls Royce Phantom, which Ortiz describes as “like a house on wheels, literally, that’s how much it cost” and 2012 Porsche rest outside his training facility, along with a few vehicles Ortiz probably didn’t have the time to talk about — apparently he isn’t aware that bitches really give it up for a Ford Fiesta covered in Spice Girls stickers from the previous owner.

Around the three minute mark you will find that *spoiler* De La Hoya actually built two houses on the grounds, the second of which contains yet another billiards table, a monster-sized jacuzzi, and a double staircase straight out of Scarface. All I’m saying is, if I had a place like this, not even the hundred men or more described in Toto’s “Africa” could drag me away from it. Then again, if the old hag I am currently throwing it to ever has the common decency to croak already, I may just get that opportunity.

Ortiz, on the other hand, will get the opportunity to retire Forrest Griffin from life at UFC 148, which goes down from the MGM Grand in Las Vegas on July 7th.

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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BaghdadBob- June 21, 2012 at 11:51 am
...dder. fuck.
BaghdadBob- June 21, 2012 at 11:51 am
Looking at that hag makes me shutter.
smellypiratehooker- June 21, 2012 at 3:30 am
CP ain't givin' no video love for the great white north.
KidDinomite- June 20, 2012 at 11:20 pm
All this crap is why Tito doesn't win fights anymore. Just because you have the money to buy all kinds of shit you don't need doesn't mean you need to. It makes you soft. Self-imposed struggle and something to strive for is how a warrior maintains being a warrior.
Mr_Misanthropy- June 20, 2012 at 9:48 pm
If you contract with the goetia at some point you must honor that contract with your human blood.
UFCFightBlogger- June 20, 2012 at 9:16 pm
The house looks like a cool place to train and rest. Big bear is a good a place as any to put in a training camp with the high altitude. I like how Ortiz has a painting of him kicking Forrest. I wonder if Liddell has a painting of him knocking out Ortiz.

Check out this article about the main event at UFC 148
Tim Sylvia 1 P4P EVA- June 20, 2012 at 9:06 pm
"Help! The black hole, it's sucking me in!"
Anhonestmoose- June 20, 2012 at 7:11 pm
He bought the place in 2007, according to the video.
Kimbo Lesnar- June 20, 2012 at 6:11 pm
This is gold:
"It looks like some Tijuana back alley surgeon stretched a piece of bologna over Gwyneth Paltrow’s elbow for Christ’s sake."
Maybe we can be friends, Danga.
J. Jones- June 21, 2012 at 7:05 am
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
smellypiratehooker- June 21, 2012 at 3:25 am
I also found that quite fucking amusing.
ReX13- June 20, 2012 at 8:22 pm
yeah, i stood up and applauded.
Fried Taco- June 20, 2012 at 4:20 pm
I'm not sure how together they are, I heard a lot of "my house", "my bed", "my herpes", etc.
CheechFace- June 20, 2012 at 4:15 pm
This seems to play Danxxx
cdub- June 20, 2012 at 4:10 pm
Dat ass!
Get Off Me- June 20, 2012 at 4:02 pm
Who photoshopped Jenna's face onto De La Hoya's body?
Danxxx- June 20, 2012 at 3:38 pm
damn cant see the video on my country, well that sucks...