^ would account for the back problems as well, and the squeaky voice, and justscrappin, thats a hell of a legacy to leave for your kids ” Mommy was the best at giving Blow jobs without using her hands”

Glamorous? Nothing glamorous about Jenna donkey-punching Tito as she assbangs him with a strapon. Now there’s an excuse for the alleged fractured skull that I would believe.

Sort of related: I heard that they hooked up through e-harmony, where they were matched across 29 dimensions (dementias?) of douchebaggery.

If any of you want to remember the good old days…then go find flashpoint on the interwebs. It’s Jenna’s great masterpiece. She was the queen of no hand blowjobs. She was hot…but that was then…and this is now. Now she is a jumble of plastic and tarnished flesh. Every time a woman becomes a sex symbol..or is lusted after and gets whatever she wants…she then deals with getting old…people not caring anymore and her not being the object of many mens fantasies. That’s when they go find another washed up has been of a man with past glory…enter Tito. They are perfect for each other…and whenever they get delusions of grandeur…thinking maybe they are better then the other person…life bitch slaps that ass…and reminds them to be happy with what they have. Jenna has to think…at least this guy is still in decent shape and Tito probably still gets some great head…cuz even though the main orifice is probably shot….she still probably has the mouth skills. So is the ebb and flow of life…the yin and the yang. I made this trainwreck of a relationship sound a little more glamorous….no?

+1

@knee_strike: very well said on both points. To your response to belou, I would add “like you and machineboi” if the two could be determined to be two people (conjoined douchebags do not count).

Good God I hate Frito Ortiz. Maybe we can get some custom Frtio Ortiz urinal cakes.
hxxp://peepeeface.com/

@fatbellyfrank

Thanks, man.

@kneestrike, your response to Seoul Brother is one of the best comments I’ve ever read, well played sir

@belou

Everyone hates Ortiz because he’s an insufferable douche and an unbelievable moron.

@Seoul Brother

The problem with your comparison of Normandy to Jameson’s career is that the former was the cause of the decline of Western civilization. The latter was simply a result of it.

I just ask em if they wanna pat the baby’s trunk, occasionally works, lots of slaps in the face

fatbellyfrank-

Ever tell the ladies when they ask about your belly that you’re gonna have a baby elephant, and if they’d like to see its trunk?

I have merely joined the Free Tito movement, I am not the founder. I am also working for the freedom of Leonard Peltier.

fatbillyfunk- …that’s some old ass Adam Slandler shit from when he was still funny, way back in the olden days of yore…

Tito’s kids bear a striking (punintentional?) resemblance to Josh Koschek. What I want to know is- who gots da u-ter-us?

tito’s two kids look just like ass dan

@Mr_Misanthropy: To you sir, I owe the inspiration for the following:

Free Tito = Frito.

Brothers & Sisters of Cage Potato (but not you, machineboi. You can go suck off a bag of angry hedgehogs), may I humbly suggest that we refer to Jacob “Tito” Ortiz from this point forward as Frito Ortiz?

And the thing with Jenna Jameson is that her vajayjay is like Normandy Beach – A lot of shit went down there, and a lot of men have trampled all over it.

Christ, her distended cooch is like Doctor Who’s TARDIS – WAAAAY bigger on the inside than it looks.

I wasn’t gonna ask, however, how do you how big your neighbours dog’s clit is? did you measure it?
” Daddy what’s the man next door doing with our doggy”? ” Look away children, Daddie’s gonna ring the police again”
(leans out window, yells) “put your pants back on ya pervert”
(leans back in)
“Its OK kids, he’s gone”

Free Tito, why would you pay for it?

Fucking Cyborg would be like that old Eddy Murphy Mr. T routine:

“Hey boy! Lookin’ mighty fine in dem jeans!” …(you know the rest, I typed it out, but it sounded hella gay, so I erased it)

Oh yeah- My neighbors dog has a four inch clit!

From da U-ter-us?

Free Tito?

@ belou, “I might be the only person here who thinks that Tito is actually a pretty cool individual”. You might be right, actually, I’d probably say that’s pretty much 100% correct.
But feel free to post messages of support for your Boy, this is CP, we got no prejudice’s. (except maybe for machineboi, he pretty much hates whitey)

@belou – is that you, tito?

I might be the only person here who thinks that Tito is actually a pretty cool individual.
He is a good coach. a great fighter, very entertaining, and a smart businessman. why does everybody hate him so? I know that he has said some silly shit in the past, but come on, most mma fighters talk like morons when being interviewed. He stirs the shit up and is an interesting person.
And as far as his wife goes, you guys can bash her all you want, but there isnt a single one of you who hasent wished that ( in her day ) it was your dick, and not some porn-star, who was giving it to her, while you sat on your couch and spanked it.
Tito is the man!

Remember that episode of the Simpsons when Mr. Burns uses Tito’s head to block out the sun?

@Harry Nips, wouldn’t that be “Lose your dicks, oooooooooooon route 66″.
Either way very catchy, i like it
Tito could start up a commemorative clothing line”I’ve been up Route 66″ T-shirts. The potential’s endless

@Ratel: Thangyuh. Thangyuhvurrahmuch.

@Seoul Brother-
Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!! That was fucking awesome, dude. Snake Pliskin indeed.

You, Sir, have just outdone my best work ever in these forums with a single, short sentence. Bravo.

^ and here I was, foolishly thinking Plissken was blinded by Josh Koscheck’s jab and takedown defense.

@ Ratel: Cyborg’s cameltoe is the thing that took Snake Pliskin’s eye.

@ ghostboner & shartacus: Hey if you two Fish Taco Cowboys want to call dibs on who gets Cyborg Sloppy Seconds, you’re braver men than I. Who knows what kind of cock marmalde would come out of her chocolate starfish.

Tito needs to take a slapshot to the balls.

@ Parchy, nope, thats the only thing that saves Tito from being sucked up into that cavernous vag, acts as a plug when he gets sucked in that far,if it wasn’t for his head he’d have to have a peice of 4×2 strapped across his ass

Your fucking killing me with that goddamn picture right there smack dab at the top of the front page.

Can you please insert a few pop up ads for college loans or something to obscure it.

Can Tito’s head fit inside Jenna?

Jenna and Tito…almost like Angelina and Billy Bob

@ ghostboner:

Cyborg chooses who goes first. Be sure to perform well, since she’ll surely kill anyone who dipleases her. By bludgeoning the victim to death with a clit that could survive by itself in the Bronx.

@ Mr_Misanthropy

I used to like grilled cheese…USED TO.

Thanks.

If dicks had wheels, would that make Jenna’s box Route 66?
1 of the most used roads in all of America. Maybe we can get Rand-McNally to map it out?
Get your dicks ooooon Route 66!(sing along if you like)

Goog, you never disappoint. Just brilliant.

I can’t wait until I’m famous so I can alter my statements at will after I’m arrested.

So is anyone else checking their pants for old drugs?

@shartacus – I called first dibs on Cyborg long ago. You can be right after me. Or we can just play musical holes.

Joke time!

Q: What does one tampon say to the other?
A: Nothing. They’re both stuck up bitches.

I like that the plural of clitoris is clitori. So then who are the clitoratti?

Holy fuck! Look at the size of Jenna’s head. Tito’s such a slut.

If I had a nickel for everytime my girlfriend found an old oc in my pocket. From earlier. Back when I used to that shit, months ago. Or was it minutes? semantics.

” it might be an inch, but Jenna says it an angry inch.”

@ Seoul Brother – that video game pitch was award-worthy.

Every time I see Jenna, I can’t help but think of the McGangBang. It’s a McChicken stuffed between the patties of a double cheeseburger. Disgusting? Yes. Hazardous to your health? Without a doubt.

And yet I’d still hit it, if for no other reason than the knowledge that Tito is dumb enough to go down on that filthy taco without first putting her into quarantine for eleven days.

True love doesn’t conquer that watch. I dont know why it bothers me so much. I’ve hated ugly watches since Spy Kids :-/

True love conquers all.

@Kimbo’s Braid

No, that would be a picture of Tito going down on that shit, even with the size of his gigantic head.

Lax Lather-

Why don’t you eat pussy first thing in the morning?

-Ever try to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich?

“He lets her strap up and put it in … jus’ a lil’ bit.”

Jenna Jameson vs. Kim Couture naked jello match. Make it happen Strikeforce. Lets see that on the next CBS card.

oh yeah… thirtieth-something

look at that fuckin James Bond watch shes wearing.

It’s like an image taken from one of those nature shows, where the crocodile has the monkeys head in it’s mouth.

As long as good personal hygeine practices are adhered to, it really wouldn’t make a difference to me if she fucked a quatrillion guys. I’ve masturbated so many times to Jenna Jameson when I was a kid, my dick took out a restraining order on me. Bittersweet memories.

She has FUCKED like over a thousand guys…..THINK ABOUT IT?

Why does she walk like a penguin?

She walks like a penguin. Why is that?

Yeah, I’d fuck her. That is to say, I fucked her.

I wonder what Cyborg’s clit looks like. Women with big clitori (?) are pretty alluring to me for some reason. Fetishistic? Probably. Borderline homosexual? It’s possible. The penis wants what the penis wants though. And in this day and age of transexuals, metrosexuals, transvestites, etc. I’d say it’s not really that big of a deal of a man is attracted to clitori (?) the size of a small baby fist. So in short, fuck all of you.

@ Seoul Brother

Strangely enough, I am interested in this new game minus War Machine. That guy is just too stupid. I mean, what the crap, you change your name to War Machine?

In other groundbreaking news, Tito Ortiz has a huge melon and Jenna Jameson has a hoo hoo ha ha the size of a melon.

Coincidence?

“Old” pills in her pants, which is either bullshit or a indicator they don’t bother with the washing cloths thing at the Tit-enna house.

I’m still amazed that a shit site like TMZ played such a huge roll in this trainwreck.

My penis is about *this* big right now

Thanks to everyone who wrote in to call Jenna a slut, it means the world to me.

@Lex Luthor:
In related news, Capcom, THQ, Vivid, and Evil Angel will announce a groundbreaking new title during E3: “Super Porn Star Fighter Turbo.”
Put Peter North in the cage with Gina Carano! Watch as Ron Jeremy smothers Kim Couture! See Lexington Steele plow through the Octagon Ring Girls!

With War Machine as the tranny midget-fucking comic relief.

Relationships are hard. I prefer a fleshlight.

+1

If only crap that lawyers say and do worked in other aspects of life…lol.

I tore a bunch of cartilage and shit in my shoulder once and I thought I was gonna be laid up for six months after surgery. Fortunately, my doctor recommended retracting my statement and I was fine.

New website idea: Porn Potato

Eh? I got nothing.

I almost threw up when i say cris cyborg at weigh ins.
so did we just read and comment this whole week on tito and jenna to find out that nothing happened and is going to happen? Also i have to say, how come only TMZ has videos right after the incident, were they waiting outside since they got married?

I’d hit Cris Cyborg. For real.

If Tito is gonna bang Jenna Jameson, then I want to see Ron Jeremy hook up with Cris Cyborg.

I love the smell of dirty skank in the morning…

That is what Mr. Ortiz was heard to have said when talks of reconciliation were in the air.

To be fair and objective, I really needed to do some research on Tito and Jenna so I could get both sides of the coin.

I rewatched all of Tito’s fights/interviews.

Then I went back and watched all of Jenna’s movies…

I am still on the fence about Jenna so I think I need to rewatch some of those movies a few more times, in slow motion, in my underwear.

;-P

This has all become a cover up for how Tito found the pills while trying on Jenna’s pants. It was such a painful sight for Jenna, she felt abused.

@fatbellyfrank: That “couple pounds of crack” in her pants is her distended vagina.

And would someone please make a Tito Ortiz pinata?

Chip Matthews is a name so perfect for newscasting that i didn’t think it could exist

“This entire thing was a publicity stunt.”

Thats just as possible as the facts so far.

It would be a standard issue la brainstorm about as ingenious of sandra bullock’s black kid.

This entire thing was a publicity stunt.

What a bunch of hippies

Did anybody bother noticing it compare itself to the strife of black people?
(after I saw what happened to…)

Combined with bigheads “I’m gonna make him my nappy hoe” eureka, it makes my soul shudder.

Shudder into a living death.

Fat chance of that.

Taint da law IMO.

Tito is giving us a hint on how much he actually feels while having sex with Jenna.

What she does not wash her pants!? Or think “whats that in my pocket”? after putting them on!?

Drugs in her pants! what, couple of pounds of crack? bwahaha

Pictured above: Tito showing the world that he is “this close” to actually becoming Jenna Jameson. Trout pout -check Blond hair -check Vagina – ?

Second

Wow noone is awake this early on saturday for this!