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How Not to Video Blog, by B.J. Penn and Mark Pavelich

Everybody wants to video blog these days.  From Dana White to the hipster grifter, people all over the world have awakened to the power of pointing a camera at their own face while they do/say things.  But dammit, there is a right way and a wrong way to do this.  What you see B.J. Penn doing up there is the wrong way.  Why?  Because he’s just standing in front of the camera with the ocean as his background, talking for a minute and a half.  Again we hear about Marv Marinovich’s revolutionary training methods, and again we see none of it. 

Here’s the question you have to ask yourself when you video blog: am I doing anything here that could not be done in a really long voicemail message?  If the answer is no, it’s time to rethink your approach.  If the answer is yes, but only because you go on for way too long, then you are Mark Pavelich.  You’ll see what I mean after the jump.

You remember crazy Mark Pavelich from the MFC, right?  Dude who went off on Drew Fickett last summer, then wrote a letter apologizing for going off, but reiterating his reasons for thinking that Fickett was a scumbag?  It doesn’t matter.  The point is, this is his recent video blogging effort to drum up increased interest in the MFC.  It’s basically him driving around for six minutes, talking about the MFC, fighters they’ve signed, and how you’ll never get the best of him or his family because they go to bed late and get up early. 

Since I’m getting bored just writing about these boring video blogs, let me end by laying out a couple of ground rules for how to do this right.  It ain’t that hard:

1) Do something.  Move around, change scenery, encounter other human beings and interact with them.  Anything.

2) Incorporate some kind of editing.  Seriously, just giving us one long shot in which nothing happens?  It was bullshit when Andy Warhol did it, and it’s bullshit now.

3) At least offer us the illusion of this as an unfiltered, fly-on-the-wall type look at your life.  That’s why a guy following Dana White around and shooting him eating compulsively works, and why B.J. Penn telling us about his day doesn’t.

Simple enough?  Good, now go out there and abuse the power of new media, you crazy kids.

Cagepotato Comments

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Jay Smith- May 13, 2009 at 6:38 am
I used to be a huge fan of BJ, but every since he got his ass muscles used as a mop to clean the octogon by GSP, he has really iritated me with just about everything that comes out of his mouth.
Kuato- May 13, 2009 at 4:29 am
Jesus, how desperate is Mark Pavelich to be a low rent Dana? He's his own "fighting championship" company, the ties to a casino, talks about how he could give a shit about the competition, and a vlog. I guarantee he's shaved bald in the next one.

So adorable the way he pretends to be doing big important things.
Dana White- May 12, 2009 at 11:50 pm
Wow all you french canadians fucks go hide in a hole.
Savageleto- May 12, 2009 at 8:06 pm
Nice to see a register function here...

I think Kenny is going to take this based on what we see from each fighter... At least Kenny is in the kitchen watching someone cook once in a while...

While BJ is bouncing around in a garage, or a pathetic game room of some bargain marriage affair hosting facility...

He is putting as much effort into these vlogs that he did against GSP
BLOODY_KNUCKELS- May 12, 2009 at 7:38 pm
i wish we could post pictures!
WAR BONG- May 12, 2009 at 7:18 pm
BJP looks like a wayward fly that's lost it's turd.
Blumpkin- May 12, 2009 at 6:51 pm
Bj Butt Plug Penn..
BLOODY_KNUCKELS- May 12, 2009 at 6:33 pm
And what's Bj's class? Cause it sure as hell isnt the Nutrition class.. Ken Flo is gonna WHOOOOOOP that Cabbage Patch Kids ass back to the feild where he grew from.
just some dong- May 12, 2009 at 5:58 pm
Doesn't really matter how BJ is training... if he's jogging for even 30 minutes a day, Florian's got no hope. I like Kenny and he's a solid fighter, but I don't think he's in BJ's class.
BLOODY_KNUCKELS- May 12, 2009 at 5:53 pm
HAHAHA good one Fucklord! But im serious about BJ looking like a fuckin Cabbage patch kid AND UR SERIOUS 2.. but Go to GOOGLE images and type in CABBAGE PATCH KIDS see if you can find a BJ look alike! hahahaha
BackbaconBilly- May 12, 2009 at 5:07 pm
It doesn't matter which training method CBJ says he is using, until he puts together a back to back win ( in impressive fashion ) over a couple top 3 opponents, then all his talk is just alot of bullshit, and we're way past the point of being tired of CBJ'S bullshit and fantasy camp.
831 Son- May 12, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Dana white is the shit. And Matt Serras blogs are top notch next to Dana's. Sorta. Bj is sooo gay.
Warcraft- May 12, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Hahahaha, Fucklord nailed it.

BJ Penn can't go past 2 rounds of full on fighting if that sometimes.
Ken-Flo's odds are looking better and better each videoblog BJ puts out.
CLOZER- May 12, 2009 at 3:59 pm
DAN QUINN is the KING of the video blog. Best one ever is when he snorts the Stevia off his hand.
Fucklord- May 12, 2009 at 3:53 pm
What do you want from BJ? Do you expect him to walk around and shit? That is tiring work he has to remain as motionless as possible in order to store enough energy for his next fight
BLOODY_KNUCKELS- May 12, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Is it me or does it look like BJs dome is getting larger by the second? And im not talking about his EGO eaither, i mean shit he almost lQQks like a cabbage patch kid in the face.
The Lizardking05- May 12, 2009 at 3:47 pm
and thats saying something because according to the bens he breaks all 3 rules!
rokabee- May 12, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Dan Quinn's video blogs > all.