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How’s Taste My Dystopian Vision of the Future?


(The war, she is hell.)

Here’s the explanation we were given to go along with this photo:

"Mixed Martial Arts star Andrei Arlovski is featured in the sequel of the iconic hit film UNIVERSAL SOLDIER. Stars Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren return as fight-to-the-death enemies in "Universal Soldier: A New Beginning."  The film has just wrapped principal photography.”

But between us, we think that’s all a clever cover story.  That’s what the government would like you to believe.  But look in those eyes.  See the despair?  See the anguish?  That’s a man who has grown disillusioned with the world of pro fighting and has traveled into the future to join some totally sweet army of motocross riders with machine guns who do battle with aliens or giant bugs or robots or something. 

At least that’s our take.  We’ll let you decide which explanation sounds more plausible.

Cagepotato Comments

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Anonymous- April 21, 2009 at 2:01 pm
never back down was a shitty remake of the karate kid, fighting looks like a shitty remake of bloodsport, least that had grotesque violence and nudity along with van dammes hilarious accent being that he is supposed to be american, this will be watered down version.

Arlovski has no where to go now, beat by tim twice and sylvia(what is that guy doing with his career?) He can go back to the UFC and lose to any guy who catches him, Elite xc is gone, affliction wont waste its money on him since theres nothing to pay him for now, so he is acting. its a shame, this guys a top 10 HW, once these guys start doing movies its all down hill, couture, tito, cung le will be next.
Habibo- April 21, 2009 at 8:54 am
Is that a caulking gun?
Dapper- April 21, 2009 at 6:06 am
It looks more like the Starship Troopers sequel.
Dakyn- April 21, 2009 at 5:02 am
I've always found it funny that hard-case futuristic warriors that are battling for survival always wear knee and elbow pads. God forbid they take a tumble and bang their funny bones - Jesus skaters have more balls than these "thugs"
Frank Mur- April 21, 2009 at 4:06 am
He's missing one vital piece of "Body Armor", the one to protect his GLASS JAW!
FUCK YOU Arlovski......I lost eight bucks on that fight!
CAPS LOCK HAL.- April 21, 2009 at 4:03 am
KEEP TALKING AS IF POT IS SOOOOOOOOOOO COOL, AND SUCH A GOOD THING. YOUR ONLY MAKING YOURSELVES LOOK LIKE, WELL JUST WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING THE WHOLE TIME, A FUCKING BUNCH OF STUPID ASS IGNORANT MOTHER FUCKERS. I LOVE THAT WHEN YOU ALL SAY SHIT LIKE OH, I SMOKE WEED, AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT, AND YOU GET ALL PISSED OF CAUSE IT'S NOT LEGAL. HA, JUST LIKE I'VE ALWAYS SAID, YOUR A FUCKING DUMB STUPID IGNORANT MORON MOTHER FUCKING GOON. SMOKE UP THERE GENIUS, AND SEE WHERE YOUR LIFE GOES.
Doof- April 21, 2009 at 2:10 am
I hear in the movies they can edit a ill-timed flying knee to look like it actually landed.
i live in a trashcan- April 20, 2009 at 10:32 pm
no no no, you've got it all wrong cagepotato. the arlovski picture is from the mad max remake, "BELARUS BAMBOOZLED" ...michael rappaport will be his ever-wandering sidekick while kevin costner makes a guest appearance as the postman, which will segue into the postman2...the greatest movie of all time's sequel
Poutine Guillotine- April 20, 2009 at 10:26 pm
Andre's got a gun...I think he's ready for the fedor rematch
Kellenavalanche- April 20, 2009 at 9:09 pm
Doin real good.
Arlovski Kimbo fight is next.
Both starve themselves for a year or so and fight at 155.
Chuggin them beers.
Reptar- April 20, 2009 at 8:57 pm

PurplePickle Says:
Mon, 04/20/2009 - 16:47

I think that is an old photo from the Belarus National Police Academy. Catching sheep thieves was brutal work for young Andre.




fuckin comment of the week
Oatmeal- April 20, 2009 at 8:36 pm
terrance howard has a small penis...
agentsmith- April 20, 2009 at 8:34 pm
One thing there won't be a shortage of in a post-apocalyptic future is old sports shoulder/elbow pads.
Wyatt- April 20, 2009 at 8:27 pm
anything has to be better than all of the "underground fighting circles" hollywood is crapping out. That latest one with Terrance Howard is going to be awful... Nothing but posers watch that crap.
boreeed- April 20, 2009 at 8:21 pm
Andre would rather go to war than fight fedor again..
Warcraft- April 20, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Nice to see the Kimbo's school for MMA novices is still giving out PHDs.
Last I checked Andrei only been put down by the some the best and most powerful strikers out there Rizzo, Silvia, and now Fedor. Lets see you run almost full speed into a Fedor Hook and still be able to talk, forget looking the same pal but with surgery you might look better then you did before.
HOW TASTES MY PEE PEE- April 20, 2009 at 6:31 pm
How tastes my career on the D-list?
period chaser- April 20, 2009 at 6:02 pm
That's definetly cyborg blood on his face but not the half man half robot kind
Antisocial- April 20, 2009 at 5:55 pm
I'd be willing to bet this Universal Soldier is going to be better that the one with Bill Goldberg.
Don't even get me going about The Scorpian King 2.
cakewalkbaby- April 20, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Looks like he's been tasting Cris Cyborg
MJfuckenFRA- April 20, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Arlovski Sylvia 3!
Lek- April 20, 2009 at 5:01 pm
Wow, he looks like 10 years younger. He's just a kid i tell you!
MJfuckenFRA- April 20, 2009 at 4:57 pm
First !
perdew- April 20, 2009 at 4:56 pm
my bad *anne frank*
perdew- April 20, 2009 at 4:56 pm
wow. he has such a HUGE chin. how can anybody be surprised how easy it is to put him to sleep? even helen keller could fucking find his button. his beard was his reputations best friend.
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