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If You Have a Thousand Bucks to Spare, You Can Share a Meal With Rich Franklin

(“Look, I’m an escort not a hooker. I’m just here for good food and good company, and whatever happens later…well, it happens. You’re not a cop, right?“)

I can’t tell if this is a better or worse deal than talking to Ken Shamrock on the phone for $11.99 a minute. A “sports fan experience” company called Thuzio is now selling personal interactions with former UFC middleweight champion Rich Franklin. Leading off their menu of services

“Lunch or Dinner: $1,000
Invite Rich to join you and your guests for lunch or dinner. You choose the restaurant and you choose what you want to talk about. Ask Rich questions about his career as a professional mixed martial artist. (Up to 2 hours)”

Man, I really want to start a Kickstarter account just so I can take Rich to Arby’s and talk about Anderson Silva‘s career for two hours. Does that make me a terrible person? I don’t know. But if I’m shelling out a friggin’ thousand bucks, I want to make sure my guest of honor is having as bad a time as possible.

Thuzio is also selling private lessons with Ace for $600/hour — “Rich will be your personal trainer giving you access to a middleweight champion. Learn first hand what it takes to a professional MMA fighter.” — which seems like a much better option than paying four figures for the most awkward dinner of your life. You can also make a “custom request,” if you’re looking for something a little more…shall we say…exotic.

Though Rich is the only MMA fighter on their roster, Thuzio offers many other options to fill your sports fantasy needs. A $5,000 round of golf with John Starks? Done. $7,500 to get Ryan Tannehill at your kid’s bar mitzvah? How much for just his wife?

Cagepotato Comments

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mma4ever- December 14, 2012 at 8:55 am
I will make a beautiful shake for me and the diaz brothers dont worry guys i got this i have seen one of these before ..what i just hit one of these buttons right
Mr_Misanthropy- December 13, 2012 at 5:25 pm
I'll pay Roarie a couple hundred bucks to help me dismember these hookers I've got stinking up my shed. A couple of em are starting to get pretty stiff.
crappiefloper- December 13, 2012 at 2:33 pm
Id pay a $1000 to bust Lesner in the balls with a sledge hammer. That would be worth it
Enricho Palazzo- December 13, 2012 at 11:43 am
Huh, $2,500 to go horseback riding with Overeem.

"Hey...didn't you guys leave with TWO horses????"
paperplane- December 13, 2012 at 11:42 am
I did an mma seminar with rich for about two hours that included a dinner with him and his wife for 140 bucks. But it was a whole mma gym though probably to cover his costs. Rich is a really nice friendly guy, and in fact he did most of the talking at the dinner. People stood around and waited to talk to him while he talked with some guys about snowboarding. He talked so long that he was late for some celebrity club appearance. Long enough that I left cause I was sick of waiting to have my turn. But if youre takin him out make sure it's a vegan restaurant or something. The guy ate probably close to fifteen pounds of vegetables.
mma4ever- December 13, 2012 at 11:19 am
Ace got slapped in the moutt with a trout so u can forget about fish
El Guapo- December 13, 2012 at 11:10 am
Whatever you knuckleturds do, don't take Ace out for Chinese. Dude damn near died after a bad experience with some Cung Le chicken.
The12ozCurls- December 13, 2012 at 11:00 am
Awkward for you or for me? I can just see you wearing your butterscotch overcoat - walking in with Diaz on your arm. Then sitting down for dinner and discussing "Zen and the Art of Blender Maintance." I hear wedding bells!
The12ozCurls- December 13, 2012 at 11:02 am
I blame my editor
angry little feet- December 13, 2012 at 10:41 am
@12oz Let me know when you and GSP are going so I can bring Nick Diaz to the same establishment. I want to make certain that the whole thing is as awkward as humanly possible.
crappiefloper- December 13, 2012 at 9:51 am
No eye contact. He hates that
2DaDeath- December 13, 2012 at 9:31 am
So can you talk or is just clothes off and straight to eating?
crappiefloper- December 13, 2012 at 8:29 am
A grand gets me doubled down with a little rough stuff thrown in.
Or.......dinner with Rich. Hmmm.....
The12ozCurls- December 13, 2012 at 8:27 am
BTW, when is GSP gonna offer this type of thing?
I would totally take him to Olive Garden and prepare for it by watching "Lady & the Tramp" for months *swoon* ;) lol
The12ozCurls- December 13, 2012 at 8:23 am
I heard Anthony Johnson is doing the same thing but instead of paying $1000 to have dinner with him, you simply have to pick up the tab - which in all likelyhood will equally roughly $1000.
The12ozCurls- December 13, 2012 at 8:24 am
I blame my editor
blackboxmma- December 13, 2012 at 8:17 am
I heard you can smoke a blunt with melvin guillard for less than 50 bucks.
MorningwoodII- December 13, 2012 at 8:11 am
Taco, water is free. He can have all he wants.
Fried Taco- December 13, 2012 at 8:03 am
Does Ace pay for his own food? If I have to pay, that could be a deal-breaker. Maybe we can split an entree.
Pen Fifteen- December 13, 2012 at 8:00 am
It's legal to pay an NBA has-been five grand for a round of golf but it's not legal for me to pay a stripper a hundo for a blowjob. What the fuck is wrong with this country.
J.Jones- December 13, 2012 at 8:24 am
mookiestick- December 13, 2012 at 7:59 am
As long as he wears those pink shorts. I'm in…